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12 Reasons We Need Torture by Tex Shelters

Updated on December 13, 2014

Many people are banging their cerebral cortex against the wall in an attempt explain, justify U.S. torture programs all over the world. They repeat the tried and true explanations they hear in the media from talking heads and politicians who patriotically support torture. So I offer this handy guide of excuses to those who still support torture, facts and humanity be damned.

12. We were afraid.

We felt afraid, and one way to make people in America less afraid is to torture people from around the world. How dare people say we shouldn’t torture when they have no idea what kind of fear we felt. Those are the same liberals that said Zimmerman shouldn’t have killed Treyvon Martin out of fear. You folks have no idea what kind of fear us powerful white people have to live with.

11. Torture demonstrates our superiority.

If we ever had any doubt that we are the greatest nation on Earth, torturing others makes us certain that we are. And we justify this torture by denigrating those we torture, further proving we are better than them. And what they did was worse, “The third process is the use of exonerating comparisons. By calling attention to cruelty more extreme than our own, our misdeeds are recast as comparatively minor and benign.”

Suspected Terrorists Relaxing During Recreation Time at Gitmo
Suspected Terrorists Relaxing During Recreation Time at Gitmo
Gitmo prisoners praying?
Gitmo prisoners praying?
Prisoners resting under the protection of the U.S. military
Prisoners resting under the protection of the U.S. military

10. People can’t keep quiet when they are tortured.

Even if “…after 20 days of round-the-clock interrogation at a secret prison in Thailand, during which Zubaydah was repeatedly waterboarded in long sessions, slammed against walls, slapped, confined in a coffin-size box for 266 hours and chained in "stress positions," the interrogators concluded the Saudi-born operative knew nothing about new plots” we know that his torture and the torture of others was well worth it, just in case.

Torture victims will lie, but at least they will make some noises, “What’s more, tortured suspects might not even realize when they’re lying.” But at least we will have gotten something out of them.

9. Torture employs people.

From the guards to the torturers, to the lawyers who defend the torturers to the media and propaganda machines that justify torture, torture employs people on a global scale.

Under Bush, a whole new industry emerged to be competitive with China’s torture industry. Torture also makes contractors, the job creators of the military arena, millions so they can create jobs in the area of torture management.

8. Cheney said it was okay and that torture worked.

For many years, Dick Cheney has been the voice of moral reason for the United States. If he says torture worked, we need not look for further answers. Commenting on the report that condemned some torture, Cheney said, “It’s a terrible piece of work.”

And he should know how terrible it is.

7. We were hurt and thus we had to hurt others.

It’s reasonable that people who are hurt lash out. Thus, torturing people is reasonable.

6. There’s always a ticking time-bomb somewhere, so torture is always justified because it works and there’s always a bomb somewhere ready to go off.

Remember above everything else that we never make mistakes and torture innocent people, except when we do.

There are ten criteria for the ticking time-bomb scenario to be in play. The extremely likely situation must include the following:

1. An attack is imminent
2. Legal and other authorities know about this imminent attack
3. The attack will kill a large number of innocent people (this assumes a terrorist attack rather than an act in war)
4. Authorities have captured the/a perpetrator who knows where the bomb is hidden
5. The authorities know that this is the right person
6. The authorities know only torture will make him talk
7. There is no other way to know where the bomb is hidden
8. No evacuations are possible
9. Torture, if used, can only (sic) used to get information (i.e. not used in a sadistic manner)
10. Torture is used only in extraordinary circumstances (ibid)

It is common that after a terrorist sets up a plan, knowing that he is likely to be killed carrying out the plan, that he will reveal his plan to the captors he hates and wants to kill. Makes sense to me.

5. All great empires torture.

To remain great, we must torture. Think of all the great empires in world history: Germany, USSR, France, Great Britain, Japan, China and so on. Now, name one that didn’t torture. Even the cuddly Belgians tortured in the Congo. Being able to torture people all over displays our greatness. And we are great all right.

4. We have the right to treat terrorists immorally because terrorists are immoral.

By being terrorists, or even having the appearance of being terrorists, they are immoral and asking for it. We know terrorists are immoral because they don’t have the same God as us, they wear funny clothing, they resist U.S. imperialism but mostly because they are different from us in so many ways.

3. Water Boarding is great name that reminds me of water parks and surfing.

Water boarding sounds like a great sport you participate in on a hot afternoon in the summer. What could be wrong with that? Cheney says it’s not torture, and that’s good enough for me.

2. Torture is a way to prevent future terrorism

As all real Americans know, “The Geneva Conventions only apply to prisoners of war. They do not apply to spies or terrorists. The Convention Against Torture only applies on a country's own soil, which is why torture of prisoners in Guantanamo Bay is legally acceptable.” (Securing Liberty)

Yes, terrorists in Guantanamo weren’t prisoners of war even if the war on terror was the reason they were in Gitmo. Because they were just prisoners and not “prisoners of war”, we could torture them.

The fact is that since we have tortured them, thirteen 9/11’s have passed without a terrorist attack. Torture has also prevented a cataclysmic asteroid strike on earth, a return of Nazi Germany and killer bees from taking over North America. Torture works.

1. Jesus supports torture

“Do onto others”, he would say. “An eye for an eye”, he would claim. And Jesus would forgive us for torture after a few Hail Mary’s. All is forgiven. Time to go back to celebrity news and discussions of Elizabeth Warren for president.

In Matthew 19:14…Jesus said, “Suffer little children…” So, by torturing those that happened to look like terrorists or those that started thinking ill of us after we shocked their genitals, we are are helping them suffer and be closer to God. Also, we are getting some to repent their sins. It’s a win-win for the religion of Christ.

In Luke 5:31, Jesus answered, “They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” You see, these people who receive enhanced interrogations don’t need doctors. Jesus said it was all okay. It’s not torture, after all.

Military authorities also answered the call of God, “According to US military authorities, it was God himself who first wrote the strategy of "torture by music" into the field manual - by turning the amplifier up to 11 on the enemy.” God loves music, and he wants us to use it righteously.

There are 12 reasons we need torture, and we can make up more if needed.

Tex Shelters


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    • texshelters profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      Thanks for the comment. Entertaining and full of melancholy. PTxS

    • texshelters profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      Jeff: You are wise. Perhaps I didn't want people to think that I enjoyed torture, too much. PTxS

    • chefsref profile image

      Lee Raynor 

      4 years ago from Citra Florida

      Thanx for this

      Now that I have justification I want to start torturing my neighbors.

      My uncle once brought home a Nazi belt buckle from WWII. It has a Swastika on it and it has "God with Us" stamped on it. If the Nazis thought they had God on their side we must be even more righteous. And of course we are "exceptional" (kinda like a new "master race") so we are allowed to treat inferior races like animals.

      I see a new Dr Seuss story coming out of this: "Horton Tortures a Who". Parents can use it to explain our morals to little ones

      You might want to add some links to whips, chains and water-boarding supplies so we can get started right away

    • jeff61b profile image


      4 years ago

      I can't believe you forgot the most important reason why we must torture our enemies: Torture is Fun!

      I mean what could be better than attaching electrodes to a man's genitals and watching him scream in pain? Great fun for the whole family!


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