2016 Presidential Hopefuls, Listen Up.
Send in the Clowns
Can it really be that time again? Seems like only yesterday the second term of our Nation's first Black President, Barack Hussein Obama, began. Though I do confess that for many Americans, it feels as though fifty long, grueling years have dragged on by, seeming never to reach a near end.
Well perk up fellow voters, time to march along the campaign trail as we follow those politically motivated, power-hungry, greed-mongers as they trade favors for money, shake hands, kiss babies and make promises they will never keep. Don't ya just love it? Tradition. Some things never change. Repetition, same old, same old, proving beyond all doubt, we Americans are living, tax-paying proof for the definition of insanity. Yes, I mean doing the same thing over and over, expecting different and better results. Let's give ourselves a pat on the back. OUCH! Whoa buddy, not so hard. Save all that anger and frustration. We're gonna need it. I know it and you know it. We all know it.
What we may not know at this point is precisely Who will be our next President. The 2016 Commander-in-Chief, head honcho in The White House, who will reign supreme over what vaguely resembles The United States of America, of days gone by. May he or she be a super hero with magical powers, the strength of Hercules, wisdom of King Solomon and the patience of Job, for starters.
If we're still able to muster up the courage to take a good hard look at the Big Picture, for the love of our country, the sake of our future and that of our children, there can be one profound, burning question. "Who the HELL, in their right mind, able to count to ten and tie their shoes, would want this job?" Right off the bat, that's a really scary thought. Who are these nut cases vying for the position of President of the U.S? Seriously, think about that for just a moment.
And Here they are........(drum roll)
"The Gang" minus a few who've already fallen out. (may they rest in peace)
Here we have a fine group of Americans, the vast majority of whom are lifers in politics. A few of them can proudly boast of being second generation politicians, for whatever that's worth. It's clearly obvious that the Republican Party is hellbent to takeover The White House. There are as many candidates as a professional football team has players, including the bench-warmers. And speaking of Athletes, these particular hopefuls most definitely know how to play the game.
"Look out Dems. Our sheer numbers should scare you." Personally, they all scare me.
Voters, do you know these people and from whence they hail? Are you familiar with their political records, policies and plans? It's early in the game yet with plenty of time to further torture and confuse us. This, need I mention, is the perfect way to keep us on our toes.
Don't let these wholesome, smiling faces fool you, my friend. They are each more ruthless and determined than the next. We might want to take notice they will stop at nothing to clear their path to the coveted title of "President of the United States." We can follow them closely, all the way to the front door on Pennsylvania Avenue, as long as we understand, that's as far as we go! History proves beyond all doubt, that front door we have graciously helped them to reach, is where we are unceremoniously kicked out.....and off the sacred lawn completely. If we all have learned our lesson well, this is where we get lost and by the way, shut up.
We could have long, heated discussions about each candidate, but why? I don't see a purpose to that at this point. Do you? I suggest we simply remain patient and wait for the final two, who have proven their tenacity and pizzazz. Yes, the two candidates who have been able to dazzle, schmooze and tap dance their way into the cozy voting booth with us.
Will you vote?
What kind of a question is that? Of course we all must vote. It's our right and our responsibility. This is the case despite the fact that from what we understand, "It's not the individual vote of ordinary Americans that determines the ACTUAL outcome." Huh? What?! Wait a minute here, can someone please explain this? Populace vote? Electoral vote? Can we go over that one more time?
Total honesty my fellow Americans, I'd like a show of hands. How many of us fully (and without question) comprehend this "voting" process we have? C'mon, hands up. Don't lie because you may be asked to explain this to the rest of us. aHA! Just as I thought. I see two hands up in this auditorium. No, wait, one just went back down. Where is he running to?
Nonetheless people, we must vote. Remember, there's a record kept of our voting habits. Yes, it's kept well-preserved in the basement somewhere. That record is there, along with our personal data, medical records, and history of our birth, families, education, what we eat, read and do (or not do) for a living, income tax information, religious affiliation, habits, hobbies and how many of our neighbors hate us, plus any move we've ever made, where and why. Other than this, rest assured, we have the right to privacy. We love America.
But I digress. Let's get back to our candidates. Do you have a favorite yet? Can you take an educated guess at who will be dropping out (like flies) in the near future? Thus far, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker (Buh-bye) and former Governor of Texas, Rick Perry ( strike TWO!) have withdrawn. So much for them.
Unless one has been living under a rock or simply paying no attention whatsoever thus far, it's fairly clear who has caused the biggest stir on either side. By default of course, there's Ms Hillary (HERE! take my damned server, see if I care!) Clinton and Oh Lord, Donald (I'm a billionaire and everybody loves me) Trump. Donald surely loves Mr. Trump most of all. This is really special.
Wait and see, folks, Hillary will survive. If we know nothing else, we know that the Clinton's are The Teflon Couple. Nothing ever touches them and no one dares take it too far. They have worked very long and hard to get there. You doubt this? "Go ahead, Make their day."
Mr. Donald Trump began his journey with a huge Bang. His speech on the day of his announcement sure did light the fire. The country lit up, started talking, pointing, listening and in general, the peasants became quite restless. I suppose it can be a good thing that all the other candidates took notice and realized they'd better eat their Wheaties. Oh yeah, the big bang before the race. "On your mark, get set, GO!" Thank you, Donald.
The time is drawing near
Soon we will sing the old familiar tune, "Happy Trails," to the Obamas. Whatever your case may be, don't start crying nor popping open the champagne just yet. There is still time for a whole lot to happen. Relax, it could possibly be positive. Don't be so paranoid. In fact, try not to think about what could or could not be for the next few months. Face it, have any of our speculations or deductions been accurate before? The sign of a good American is to stand tall in the face of disaster. Admit we are helpless, hope is just a dream and no matter what, those civil servants who work for us, will forever do what they choose. Did I say that right?
I confess, I have not come to any conclusions about a particular candidate. More power to you if you've made your choice and feel 100% comfortable about it. We can only hope that Mr. Trump's razzle-dazzle and repeated use of the words, "terrific, "TREMENDOUS," better than ever before," and "big, beautiful wall," will not blind too many simpletons. Donald is a wealthy businessman and there can be little argument there. Much more than this, my lips are sealed. The fact that he has publicly proven his hair is really HIS hair, has frightened me more than if we could know that he removes it each night before bed. I mean, how many points shall we give him for that display? "Truly people, this squirrel on my head is real. It's all mine." If you happened to be in the audience that day, believe me, I feel your pain.
Please do not allow my attempt at some lighthearted humor here to upset or distract you. Understand I have no more power nor influence than you do. And best you accept that we have none, fellow voter. Even collectively, we have zero, zip, none, nada. You haven't noticed? Well, OK, that part's not so funny. So, what do you want from me? Take a good look at the candidates. This is where our focus should be. I mean, this is what we are forced to determine.
I've been listening closely to every word Jeb Bush has to say. In all honesty, the reason for this is my sick curiosity. I'm hoping at some point he'll use the word, "Nuclear." Aren't you dying to know if he pronounces it like brother George?? "Nook-U-lar!"
See, I'm just following along. I want to be as serious, mature and political as all the candidates. I think I'm doing pretty well so far.
Good luck voters. Pay attention, do your homework and use your head. Then, get the hell outta the way and wait for the next big bang!......God Bless Americans.
Campaign Update--Late July 2016:
Hello Readers. I couldn't resist coming back to bring you up to snuff on what has been seen by the vast majority as one of the most unique and fascinating campaigns in recent history.
We are now in the thick of a contest between Hillary Clinton (D) versus Donald Trump (R). Did you know it would come down to these two individuals or are you quite shocked? More than likely, the nomination of Hillary is not a real surprise but it's safe to say there was a huge portion of Americans who couldn't bring themselves to take Trump seriously enough to reach this point. Regardless, here they are, squaring up against one another in what promises to be a battle for the ages. The predictions that we should prepare for extremely nasty debates are flooding the campaign news stories everywhere. Considering what we've seen and heard thus far, these predictions are easy to believe.
Political sparring has never been a love fest and in this case, we certainly do need to prepare for a verbal blood bath. It may be unfortunate for us to accept this reality, but it is unavoidable. Perhaps a pre-debate Warning will be in order? Prior to airing each debate, perhaps we can expect to see: Warning: The following program is not intended for the faint of heart or emotionally frail. Language and attitudes of candidates may be extremely harsh, insulting and harmful to viewers. Moderators may become frustrated and demanding or perhaps explode at any given moment. Should you begin to experience shock, symptoms of high blood pressure or spells of weakness, immediately stop watching this debate!
Tune in at your own risk my friends.
Choose one. I dare you.
The candidates for POTUS in 2016 are:
Trump interviews Trump
© 2015 Paula