4th weekly PIP-POP Hooray Awards.
Welcome once again to the 4th weekly Pip Pop Hooray Awards acceptance speeches; let's begin the show by welcoming Secretary of State Hillary Clinton up to the stage. Thanks you so much for this esteemed recognition. Not since the discovery of that famous Blue Dress have I been as pleased with an announcement; yes the receipt of this award ranks right up there with the discovery of that Lewinski dress. But to the subject at hand, in order for you to believe I actually believe the United Nations is "the single most important global institution;" all I can add is for you to believe that requires a willing suspension of disbelief. Thank you anyway for this award; I will proudly display it on my mantel right next to my picture of Bill on which he inscribed Forever Faithful Bill!
Will our next winner, Christiane Amanpour please make your way to the stage? Thank you so much Darlings, for this humble recognition. Not since Bagdad Bob has anyone had a more difficult job of covering a Pig with Lipstick than I. Bagdad Bob’s Pig was Sadam and mine of course is the Imam; wheeew what a Pig!.Of course the taxpayers paid for the Iman’a trip overseas; it was an extension of Obama’s outreach program to Moslems. That interfaith jargon is just that; razzle dazzle, now you see it now you don’t Obama spin! If the Mosque is not built Muslims will murder Americans and if the Mosque is Built Moslems will murder Americans; either way Americans will die. That’s what Sharia Law calls for but that’s another story for another time which I hope will bring me another award. Finally this award has special significance for me; all those years as a CNN Reporter when no one was ever watching it is so refreshing to realize people are actually out there listening to what I read off the teleprompter.
Will Juan Carlos Ramirez; janitor for the Homeland Security Building please come to the stage to receive this award on behalf of the Homeland Security Department; please, please come forward, you can leave your mop propped on your chair. This award is for your department; let’s for the moment pretend you are the undersecretary for Homeland Security Cleanliness; which is next to Godliness. Gracious; Soy Juan Carlos Ramirez pero usted puede llamarme Juan Carlos; excuse me I mean I am Juan Carlos Ramirez but you can call me Juan Carlos; anyway I am here to receive this award on behalf of my department. I really have no idea what all this means; I mean just what is a fugitive? I do however understand fully what an illegal alien is; that’s why I’m here. They told me if I showed up on Ms Napolitano’s behalf they would grant me citizenship so here I am. As for my fellow 506, 232 brothers, your time will come; just be patient, in the meantime enjoy the no taxes and free medical care. And remember whatever you do, do not let them trick you into showing up, no matter what they promise you! Gracious, adios amigos!
Wait a minute Michael; would you mind remaining in your seat, we’ll bring the award to you. I have just been informed there some reinforcement issues with the underpinnings of this stage and frankly we’re afraid the flooring just won’t support your massive frame. Anyway it comes as no surprise the position you took on the ground Zero mosque controversy. I only would suggest improving on your idea by adorning the top of the façade with Michael Moore Gargoyles from which the Jihadist could pour hot oil on the unsuspecting New Yorkers as they go to and from work; work from which the tax dollars were extorted in order to fund the Iman’s middle eastern fund raising trip. You sir are a Glittering Jewel of Colossal Ignorance, a disgrace to America and the Human Race in general and if a public stoning of your lard infested carcass were ordered I assure you there would be no loss of volunteers to toss the first stone; even Jesus himself may volunteer to toss the first stone! But having said all that here’s your Pop you Java the Hut Look Alike!
Pop, I told you please no public recognition for my misguided article in the New York Times. My colleagues already have started a Rob Cardillo relocation fund. Do you know what it’s like to be shunned? I of course still believe the New York Times provides the insightful elitist with all he or she needs to face the world each day and deal with the various rabble they are forced to rub elbows with. Soon, very soon Barrack assures us we will return to our Bourgeoisie based society in which we will once again be sheltered from the rabble!
So once again let’s conclude this presentation with our theme song:
All around the country the electorate chase the weasels
Come November election time, Pop goes the Weasels!