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7 Reasons To Vote For Mickey Mouse
Mickey Mouse For President
1.) He is ageless
How old is Mickey Mouse? Nobody knows. He never ages.That is a great reason why he should be president as he will never grow old and get alzheimer's! He can identify with any age group so dealing with old dried up Russian dictators will be no problem.
2.) He has a hot first lady
Yes! Minnie Mouse can be the hottest first lady ever. Her wardrobe has never gone out of style and never will. Once again, she has universal appeal and she certainly will not be wasting taxpayer money by shopping for herself!
3.) He is a different kind of rich
For some reason, Americans have this amazing belief that being a rich, white businessman is a bad thing. That these people have gained their wealth off the backs of the poor, downtroddened American taxpayer. All the while, people just absolutely love rich athletes and actors who have literally sucked people's money from their pockets by playing kid's games or remaking Madagascar for the 10th time. Mickey is rich by default! Nobody cares that they spend thousands of dollars with him as he is such a cute dude.
4.) He has a great domestic policy
He has most of the USA covered. With offices in Florida and California, he appeals to both retirees and surfies alike. Just as Ronald McDonald can get kids to sway their parents, Mickey can insure with great marketing that the kids will have great influence in their parent's voting choices
5.) He has a great cabinet
Just think! You can have old scrooge for the treasury, goofy as secretary of state, and Pluto for the defense minister! What a winning team. After all, they get along great in Mickey's playhouse!
6.) Excellent foreign policy
Mickey's got it goin on! With locations in just about every major country, he is a sure bet to bring the whole world together. We just all need to learn mouse!
7.) He is just plain fun!
Never mind cheating presidents! He doesn't smoke and he is always smiling! Lets make the presidency fun! Life is too short!