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A Day in the Life of a Single Mother

Updated on December 4, 2010

Surrounded by Adorable Smiles, This Single Mom Marches On

My three youngest children give me the fuel I need to press on regardless of my circumstances. Photo by Robert Boswell.
My three youngest children give me the fuel I need to press on regardless of my circumstances. Photo by Robert Boswell.

Life in the Good Ole USA

It’s a tricky situation balancing a career, raising children, and running a household as a single mother. I don’t think there are enough “tips” in the world to make it any easier. There are, however, many things that can make it a whole lot more difficult.

I usually don’t voice the things that I’m going through to my friends and family for the simple fact that my life is my mess to clean up, as I have voiced in other hubs. Today I am making an exception because I think people need to see just how cruel and injustice our American government truly is. In order to affect change, sometimes we have to put ourselves out there as an example. As a writer, I have never been one to sugarcoat much. How will my readers get the full spectrum of what is actually occurring if I do not express it? So, here I go putting myself out there.

In August of 2008 my car broke down on my way to a job interview. The motor blew up on the interstate. Being a single mother, I could not afford to pay much for a mechanic. Having a “friend” who was a backyard mechanic, I gave him a call. Long story short he agreed to put a new motor in my car and towed it back to his place. The very next morning this “friend” puts my car back on his dolly and tows it to a salvage yard, crushing it for the money. He pocketed this money. Upon realizing what he had done, I called the police. This man had stolen my car!

The county police claimed they could do nothing about it and I would have to file a civil suit. This seemed ridiculous so I called the state of Maryland where the mechanic had picked up the car and also where he had signed the paperwork stating that it was his and had it crushed. The State of Maryland claimed that since his “shop” was in Virginia, this is a Virginia issue. So now I call the Virginia State Police. The “nice” officer I spoke to said that he could do something about it and claimed that he would call me back. He never called me back. When I called again, that particular officer had been transferred. Upon speaking to another officer, going over all the details for the fourth or fifth time, he said there was nothing that could be done. My car is stolen and nothing can be done.

Beware! If someone crushes your car for salvage, they are obviously not liable.

I moved on. Here I go rolling with the punches again. There is always a brighter side in my world. That car wasn’t my dream car anyway. I shall work hard and buy another one.

Whoa! No, I won’t. DMV has suspended my license for not turning the stolen tags in. This is just one government issue that this single mommy is up against.

Someone steals your car, you will be punished! The State of Virginia and DMV will cripple you. Needless to say, here I am, a single mother without transportation in a rural area where the bus stops running at 4 p.m. and doesn’t run at all on weekends. Great!

Now I’m in the welfare line. I can’t go to work. I can’t take my children where they need to go. I can’t go to any of their events at school. I’m stuck. However, this isn’t even enough yet. No, someone else has to put their two cents worth in and make matters worse.

My three youngest children have been living with me since February, three months now. Their father picks them up on some weekends only to drop them off somewhere else. However, he still has them on his food stamp case and there is absolutely nothing I can do about this either. No, he is entitled to those benefits as long as he sees them once a month. I’m serious, people. I cannot get help for these children who are in my care, whom I cook for and feed, bathe, get up and ready for school, fix their boo boos, take care of when they’re sick, keep them entertained when they’re home from school, clean under their fingernails, etc., etc. , etc.; but their father who sleeps until at least nine every morning, parties hard, chases married and otherwise attached women, hangs out at the local firehouse all day, and does whatever else it is he wishes to with complete and total freedom is receiving funds to take care of these children.

Imagine that, and it’s a true story of a single mother living in America. What a beautiful, beautiful world we live in! Ha!

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    • VAMPGYRL420 profile imageAUTHOR

      Windy Grace Mason 

      6 years ago from The Eastern Shore of Virginia, Maryland and Delaware, U.S.A.

      Thank you for reading and commenting, Motherbynature. It's a pleasure to meet you. In this county, no one actually does their job. Currently, I am going through communications with a three-ring circus trying to get my driver's license back since the DMV took them away in 2008 when I failed to turn in the tags from my vehicle which were on it when it was stolen. The Department of Motor Vehicles finally told me that if I can acquire the police report I may have my driving privileges back. As soon as I received that information, I called the Virginia State Police barracks here in Melfa, Virginia where I called to report my car stolen in 2008. Apparently the officer who was on my case is no longer working with the state police and he has relocated. So those now in charge looked through files all day trying to find my case. The verdict? The officer never filed the report in 2008. Another officer was sent out the very same day. Upon hearing my case, he said that he wants to prosecute the car thief; because this is not right. I have not heard from him since last Tuesday when he said that. I kind of feel like he told me that to calm me down. I don't know, but I do know that my children and I need for me to have my driving privileges back. It has already been four years of suffrage for nothing. I have done nothing wrong. I don't understand why the state wants to make things so much harder for a single mother or anyone really at this point with the way the economy is. It's almost like they want me to cave and commit myself to some jerk all in the name of survival. They don't know me too well, because I can pick up this pen and just keep going and I shall; but it's almost time for me to start pushing harder. Last Tuesday, when I was told that there was no police report filed on my case in 2008, I began posting away on my Facebook wall, anything and everything that I could come up with in the way of Virginia State Police violations against civil rights along with my own story. I was then contacted by a friend of mine who just happens to work for the state police asking me to take it down. So, I erased everything having faith that something positive would come this time...I won't make the same mistake again. I'm ready to start walking with signs and get more people involved. This is inhumane and must stop. I hope things are going much better for you in the single mother department then they are for me. I wouldn't wish this kind of torture on anyone...

      Love & Light,

      Windy Grace

    • Motherbynature profile image

      Motherbynature 

      6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      Girl you have a strong back! I'm a newly single mother and the amount of work for one person is ridiculous. I advise you to call your local county supervisor regarding aide for your kids. He is an elected official and that is his job. I worked for a member of congress and people don't know what help is available to them. Good luck and message me if you need more info.

    • VAMPGYRL420 profile imageAUTHOR

      Windy Grace Mason 

      8 years ago from The Eastern Shore of Virginia, Maryland and Delaware, U.S.A.

      It's not easy; but sometimes I'm all they have. I will always be here. What doesn't kill me will continue to make me stronger and stronger :) Keep on marching little soldier ;)

    • profile image

      dracaslair 

      8 years ago

      i feel lucky.the father of my children wont let me do the single mom thing.i feel blessed that their grandparents help.family is a must when comes to kids.

    • VAMPGYRL420 profile imageAUTHOR

      Windy Grace Mason 

      8 years ago from The Eastern Shore of Virginia, Maryland and Delaware, U.S.A.

      Thank you, Nicole. You and your daughter are also in my prayers. I thought I was just some kind of target until I read your hub. Although, I also had an ex-boyfriend break a restraining order a little over a year ago on live camera with audio and the police told me there was nothing they could do about that either...I really feel as though the system is working against me here. I'm a fighter and I don't give up; but I really feel like I'm spinning my wheels here. It's insanity!!! Being a single mother is rough enough without them putting us through all this extra drama. I hate being in the welfare line. Last summer because there were no other jobs in my area, I worked in the tomato fields picking tomatoes with the migrants just to avoid all of this. I don't mind hard work. Single mothers for the most part will work and we want to; but we can't if they strip us of everything. Then on top of that as if we don't already feel bad enough standing in a welfare line, they make us feel even more shameful by making us BEG for help. Something has to give. I'm sending love, light and prayers in your direction my friend. Keep your head up!!! I'm standing here with you.

    • Nicole Winter profile image

      Nicole A. Winter 

      8 years ago from Chicago, IL

      Man... and I thought I was getting the shaft. I'm so sorry. I know sorry don't cut it and people in hell want ice water, too... this has to be some of the most back-ass-ward government skull ... oh, sorry, forgot where I was for a moment there. This sucks, and I'll be praying for you and your little ones.

    • VAMPGYRL420 profile imageAUTHOR

      Windy Grace Mason 

      8 years ago from The Eastern Shore of Virginia, Maryland and Delaware, U.S.A.

      Thank you, voice :) It is definitely time for change.

    • thevoice profile image

      thevoice 

      8 years ago from carthage ill

      great great read its terrific time for change thanks

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