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A Drunken Society
This probably isn't the best title but I brought it over from my blog and expanded on it a little. Alcoholism is a big problem in today's society and like many social issues we would like nothing better than to sweep it under the rug. Growing up in an alcoholic home I know all too well the deep scars that are left behind from such a traumatic experience. Those unfamiliar with it don't understand the pain caused from it. They don't see it as much of a problem but believe me a child feels it's pain in a way that compromises them for the rest of their life. An alcoholic parent puts them at greater risk of developing this insatiable gluttony. In turn they inflict the same kind of pain and anguish onto their families. Drunks rarely see the pain they are causing. They simply blame others and say they must have it for one reason or another. It can be body aches and pain, dealing with pressures at work, family issues or a myriad of other reasons. But there are always reasons, reasons that are nothing more than excuses. They may have these problems and need an outlet but alcohol is not the answer but they don't see that. They don't know to cope any other way and a bottle seems the answer if only temporary relief comes, it's better than no relief at all. But they need to find a better avenue for dealing with everyday pressures. Alcoholics do have a disease but the first step like any disease is recognizing there is a problem and there is only one cure and that is abstinence. This hub has somewhat of a poetic twist but let me be perfectly clear there is nothing poetic about drunkeness. Nothing at all. I wrote it in this way to hopefully convey some of the pain of living with an alcoholic and not seem bitter, twisted and angry although anger is a perfectly acceptable emotion when it comes to dealing with alcoholism.
One more note, there are many things in this society that can mean drunkeness like power, sex, money and much more but here it is devoted to alcoholism.
We all know how much alcohol hurts ourselves and the people around us including our children yet the people causing the most problems from it never admit they are at fault for their own sickness brought on by the long nights and weekends of buzzed half conciousness that many find sickening. They blame others, their bosses, their families, anyone near them for their drunken behavior when the one person they should be looking at is themselves and their own reflection. Yet when they see their own image they see someone full of love and goodness for others yet they push their own families into the landfill of degradation they call escape. Escape is a world of delusions. Delusions of ghosts and hauntings, people(everyone around them) out to get them for imagined wrongs. These imaginings are solely in the mind of the drunk. No one else sees the ghosts or the imagined slights but the drunk sees them all too clearly believing the slights or demons if you will are out to get them. These demons are causing all kinds of havoc in their life. Havoc no one else sees but if questioned the drunk gets angry that you don't see his demons. But how could you? They are his demons and his alone and he must fight them. It isn't up to anyone else to fight his battles. Battles are the core of a drunks soul. They make up his very spirit. They are the reason he pushes himself into oblivion on every opportunity that presents itself. A longing to escape into a world no one knows better than another drunk.
When loved ones get angry the drunk tries with all his might to get you to see he is being attacked by unknown forces that only he/she can see. They often escape into a world where only they see the demons, the shadows of recognition that we, the loved cannot see. We haven't evolved that far into this new world according to our drunken partner.
For most living or growing up in alcoholism it is not poetic in any sense of the word. It is a private Hell that only we see. We absorb every bad thing that has ever happened to our loved one. We watch in helpless anxiety as the anger and frustration from our drunken loved one is spilled onto ourselves and children. It is with helpless agony we watch the pain of this dreadful disease eat away at us and more sadly our children leaving in it's wake a society full of children with more problems than our many ancestors before us combined. Yet we are helpless to stop the madness. Yes we can leave but leaving won't make a drunk change his behavior it will only fuel his already weak spirit into more drunkeness. But what are the options? There are none except removing yourself and children from the bad situation. You can only change yourself. You must look into your own inner self for the strength it will take to fight this dragon.
A sobering concept that as a child you do not see. You only see the heartache that comes from the violent words, these words are like slaps in the face over and over again and we often wonder why the person didn't exact his vengeance with a whip or belt. It felt that way when the sting of the words radiated through our body like wildfire out of control. We try to control our feelings of helplessness that will leave us crying in shame, a shame that we didn't bring upon ourselves, a shame that will bring the wrath of the drunk down on our heads like sharp razors.
We don't bleed but we wish we had, it would make the pain easier to bear. The pain of needles that constantly prick us without one single drop of blood yet it cuts to the bone.
For anyone who has never lived or grown up in an alcoholic home this make no sense. I don't wish that kind of pain on anyone especially a child.
The pain of living in this type of home never goes away especially when the drunk being dealt with is a mean drunk and the majority of alcoholics are mean when they are drunk. That's one sobering fact that cannot be gotten around. And even when the drunk is not violent or mean he/she is not involved, he is not there emotionally or physically. He is in another world where only the buzz factor exists. He has no conscience when it comes to his family. They are part of the reason he is the way he is. Even if he never openly says it. Drunks have a different view of things than the average person, they see things that are not there. This makes us angry because we know the alcohol is simply messing with the head. It is screwing with the brain in a way we do not understand and never will.
We hope one day he/she will see the err of his/her ways but if you wait for that day to come it will never come, trust me and even if the person sobers up(gets clean and stays that way as they say) he/she will never truly see the pain they've caused. Even if they do you will never hear them admit their faulty behavior.
You are waiting for that rainbow that will never appear.
If you make it through an alcoholic relationship, grow up from an alcoholic home, you will more than likely never hear the words you crave to hear. Just be grateful the person you most love whether it be a spouse, sibling, parent, etc. is alive and well and has given up an addiction that was killing them, an addiction that you could all too clearly see was destroying their lives and yours in the process, that they have finally relinquished this demons hold on their bodies. JUst be thankful they are sober and well.