A Few of The Believable Excuses Used by Freeloaders
The challenge at hand.
For the intellectual, non-intellectual's, and philosophically-minded who are reading this piece, I pose to you this question: what is the difference in a freeloader and a bum? Give up?
A bum does not fabricate why he is unable to pay for a meal that he has just devored and the freeloader is a seemingly-endless supply of believable lies to justify his lack of funds for the same meal.
Freeloaders: nothing new.
Freeloaders have been around since goods and services have been produced. For every service, good, product, there is a freeloader. Oh, now do not think that you are so wise that you can spot a freeloader a block away. Not even the master sleuth, Charlie Chan was that intuitive. But he came very close.
Freeloaders, to be honest, are masters of their trade. (e.g. "Emperor of The North Pole," with Lee Marvin, Ernest Borgnine and Keith Carradine). I love this film. And the way that Marvin's character, "A-No. 1," teaches his young protege, "Cigarette," the craft of (dodging "Shack," Ernest Borgnine, a railroad "bull," who kept hobos from riding trains for free) and being a successful "hobo," not the fanciest way of travel or securing a good meal during the Great Depression.
Facts About Freeloaders:
- As in the old adage, "give the Devil an inch, and he'll take a mile," so goes the saying, "give a freeloader a bite, and he'll take your entire plate."
- Another old adage, "there is no honor among thieves." You can easily make the case for this modified old saying: "there is no honor among freeloaders."
- Do not make the foolish mistake in thinking that the "homeless" are to be equated with freeloaders. The freeloader is like he is by choice for he doesn't work to gain food, clothing or lodging. Most of the "homeless," are this way not by choice.
- The "homeless" are to be pitied while the freeloader is to be shunned.
- Most freeloaders are healthy, able to perform tasks to gain the means to live while the "homeless" are many times sick of mind and body and not to be scorned for visiting neighborhood missions for help.
Favorite place for freeloaders.
You have your train stations, bus stops and in bigger cities, cabs (taxi's) to take you to your destination for a fee. But the best-known "target" for freeloaders is, and might always be restaurants. Even "Wimpy," "Popeye, the Sailor Man's" freeloading pal, loved to eat hamburgers given to him under the umbrella of his, "will gladly pay you Tuesday," vow that was never honored.
But mind you, freeloaders, not like bums, are "at their best," in situations involving dating, how they dress, walk, talk, lose jobs, and other places you would never suspect that a freeloader would use as a location to be irresponsible, non-committals, and a down-right slacker.
I have talked enough. Now to introduce you to:
"I would share 50 more excuses used by freeloaders, but I have suddenly contracted "Hub Crampicitus," a recently-discovered, rare affliction in my fingers. So if one of you would be so kind to help me finish this and fifteen more hubs that I need to write."
A Few of The Believable Excuses Used by Freeloaders
- "I'd be glad to pay for this tasty meal, but I gave my last dollar to that needy person I met coming into this fine cafe."
- "Oh my stars! I have foolishly left my motel room without my wallet."
- "I am not feeling well, my friend. Would you please get this check and I will pay you back when I get checked out at the hospital."
- "Uncle Sam really stuck it to me this tax season."
- "I normally do not dress as a slouch, but a team of dangerous thugs robbed me of my clothing and money an hour ago. I secured these clothes from a local goodwill location, but I allowed the truly needy people to go ahead of me." (not only is this guy a freeloader, but a pretty good liar).
- "My five children all needed braces." (this excuse is used when the freeloader and "sucker" do not know each other).
- "Me? A bum? That hurt my feelings. I just didn't know that I over-paid on my monthly loan installment. So sue me for doing more than my share."
- "May I get you to drive me to Louisiana? My truck broke down ten miles back." (a freeloader uses this while "thumbing" a ride from one place to the other and the freeloader makes absolutely sure that he also has believable excuses for his truck not being within 20 miles of where he was standing on the highway when a good-hearted soul picked him up).
- "And I need another free box of cheese for my ailing uncle who served in World War I and II."
- "Can you lend a poor veteran a cigarette?" (this freeloader did not serve one day in the military).
- "I am financially embarrassed. I gave my wife all of my cash and credit cards to use on her missionary trip to the Third World country where she is helping feed the hungry." (this freeloader is single).
- "Am I am member of this club? Errr, yeah. (a) "Mr. Goodwin," told me that I could eat with you fellas anytime I wanted." (you guessed it. There is no "Mr. Goodwin").
- "I know that this sounds barbaric, but please, my fair maiden, would you please pay for "this," our first meal on our first date, and I will take you to the finest steak house in Texas next week." (the poor girl, or female "sucker," in this instance, never hears from this freeloader again).
- "Bud, can you please loan me ten bucks for lunch? I have to eat something for these new medications that my doctor gave me for tension." (yes, even freeloaders can be among your coworkers).
- "A dog with mange bit me yesterday, and I need this bottle of whiskey to combat the germs living in my bloodstream." (this freeloader intentionally scraped his knee before entering the package store to bolster his pitiful lie).
- "Tell the boss that I came down with a rare case of "Hypercirculationatis," overnight." (no such disease, bu the receptionist taking the employee's freeloading excuse for laying out of work does not know the difference).
- "Boss, please forgive this intrusion, for I know that you are very busy, but I desperately need to be off for two weeks due to my "uncle Jess," in Thailand, who was working on a shrimping boat, falling into the ocean and almost drowning. His boss took him to a local hospital and the attending physician called me last night and wanted me to be near "uncle Jess," in his final seven days of life." (this sly coworker has used this excuse with the former boss. It worked with this "new" boss as well. The freeloading employee got not one, but two weeks off).