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A Funny thing happened in Court Today.

Updated on April 28, 2015
Belle Maria profile image

Belle Marie is the daughter of a former Hell's Angel President, a former Court clerk, and currently is cashiering at a local grocery chain.

In the mid 80"s I was employed by the Municipal Court in the State of California as a deputy Clerk of the Court. This title is only a glorified name for clerical workers, but we did have to swear on the Bible that we would not break laws and do our best to be an example of what society would expect from court workers.

So, one Monday I was in the courtroom of the Judge that was handling cases of what we called "in-custodies" These defendants were picked up over the weekend on warrants for their arrests for not appearing for traffic tickets that they had received. Most traffic tickets are only infractions, very minor, but a failure to appear (FTA) is a misdemeanor and stays on a persons record for a little longer and is more serious than just an infraction.

So, back to the cases. The judge was a very small elderly lady that would fit the description of a perfect grandma. Small, short curly gray hair, and just absolutely swallowed up in her black robes and the HUGE desk that she sat at. And a very small voice, what you would expect from her appearance. They brought up a defendant, a hispanic man that did not speak very much english. There was not a spanish interpreter in court so the language barrier was a challenge. She read his charges off to him in her delicate voice..."You are charged with FTA for a ticket you got on such and such date for the Vehicle Code violation" and read off the number of the code. She asked "How do you plead"? The man stated "No, your no get no ticket..." She again stated to him, with more description "You signed a ticket for vehicle code violation such and such for emitting an offensive substance along the road. How do you plead for this violation"? He thought for a split second and replied "No your Honor, me no get no ticket for my car." They went back and forth for a while about his car, his signing of the ticket, and him not appearing and taking care of the ticket. The man kept telling her that he had no recollection of getting a ticket for something about his car....which you would think, receiving a ticket with a "Vehicle Code Violation" would be.....

Finally, the Judge stood up and leaned over her desk and said very loudly to the man "Do you remember getting a ticket, THAT YOU SIGNED, while you were stopped along the road for standing there and taking a PISS while the officer saw you"??!!! The man lit up and said, "Si' Your Honor, Me did get a ticket for that". The courtroom went hysterical with laughter, the Judge had a very hard time keeping from laughing, but finally she told him..."Your sentence is time served (meaning his time in the county jail over the weekend was sufficient) and released the defendant.

I often wonder if the man hides in the bushes instead of standing along the road when the call of nature calls. :)


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