ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

A White House discussion viewed by the New World Realists

Updated on April 7, 2017

A Dialogue of Stooges LIVE from the White House...

The President:

“I illegally ordered to bomb the future US colony of Sirya because I was deeply affected by the sad image of a wounded child. Very sad. I know I’ve seen some last month too but they weren’t as sad. Plus I was at the club.
But it’s going to be tremendous for the military contractors’ workforce who can now get their toolbox out and sell the US taxpayers a bunch of our very great, freshly baked Tomahawk missiles at $1 million each. It’s all about creating jobs. I’m the job creator.
That Tomahawk thing, it’s like a baker pulling out a baguette from his oven and feeding it to his community. It’s gonna be huge!”

The White House Advisor:

“Daddy, I wish we had discussed this before you tweeted the launch; you misspelled Syria again! Oh, and also, I will work on your speech to explain why you feel sorry for these kids but threw their parent refugee back out in the water. Don’t worry, I will find the right words and bring Visine to support the emotional moment.
Oh, dad, when you have moment, like between the re-runs of the Apprentice with Schwarzenegger you watch secretly, and the meeting with some president, can you tweet Kmart… they won’t take my boots back.”

The Secretary of All:

“That’s interesting. Does it mean, I should wear my personalized bulletproof vest over my Harvard-crossed jacket again – like, back in my war days when my father-in-law’s bald bodyguard and I were negotiating the freedom of Iraq at the Generals’ table last week….
Hope I can get a matching vest that reduces the folds.

The Secretary of State (no, you cannot blame Hillary again):

“Does it mean I must fly into Muslim territory, or somewhere in one of those ‘axis of evil’ area, as we used to call them back in the good old days of peace…and then I have to talk about it too…
Wow, that’s intense! HEY STEVE ?!?! Are you busy this week?
Man….I hope I don’t have to sell my Exxon stocks.”

The National Security Webvisor:

“You guys want to know why we dropped the bomb, don’t you? Check the official National Security website, it’s updated after each tweet we get from the KKK Real News Network – it’s very practical, like Wikipedia, you can make your own edits.
Go ahead, I’m the webvisor”

The President’s Wife:

“This better not affect the wave pattern of my layered hair…I’m tired of putting it in a bun… this is bullshit! I want to go back to my condo! (Finger snap) Get me the People’s Helicopter! What do you mean I have to pay !?!? Send the bill to the Department of The People at Maree of Hell Lagoon.”

The (undocumented) People’s Shuttle Reservation Agent:

“You mean Mar-el-lago? “

The President’s Wife:

“You’re fired!”

The (undocumented) People’s Shuttle Reservation Agent:

“Today, no entiendo Ingles”

The very blind rest of the world:

(Rightfully known as the New World Idiots):
“What the fuck is going on here? I don’t get it.”

The less blind rest of the world:

(Vulgarly known as the Sad World Realists):
“The US elected a B-series reality show stooge for president who put a conspiracy theory webmaster as head of the country’s National Security, his shoe-making daughter as White House advisor, and, in the footsteps of Jefferson and Madison, an oil company manager as Secretary of State; that’s all.”


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)