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A Life Lived Apart

Updated on October 25, 2017
Ericdierker profile image

Holding degrees in philosophy and Law. Formal studies or certificates or degrees in business, theology, insurance and security. Ex-preacher.

Just Rocks, Or Do You Want to Know The Period From Which They came like Precambrian?

Everything In Life Tells A Story If We Listen
Everything In Life Tells A Story If We Listen | Source

Do You Have Answers?

I remember wanting to play Little League. A summer sport denied me by my mom I suppose. I loved and wanted to hang out with buddies at the Marshal Recreation center. It also was denied me by my mom. Being in the Flagstaff ditch with super Mustang bikes was denied me. I reckon I have some resentment. I was made a social person and that was cut to the quick. I suppose I kind of grew up as the odd duck with my friends. Maybe my hand me downs were laughable. My shaved head was not cool in the sixties. On the other hand it was very cooling ‘-)

I showed up at a sock hop with holes in my socks. I flubbered when talking to gals I liked. My brother was nothing less than a local hero. He was the most valuable athlete in my town. Ray was also. I was just a scrapper.

I actually rode a bunch of horses with Ben Miller and Mark Weaver. But our local cowboy click thought me a hippy. I marched down San Francisco street twice. Once against the Vietnam Conflict and once for Civil rights. But I was way too white privileged which we really did not label in them good old days. It was weird to play Basketball and football but still be a member of the band and chess club. I swear I was the worst Clarinet player this side of Tejas. But Gilbert Wong had a hard time beating me and Beefy Lopez at chess.

Sure I got a full on letter of intent to play for NAU football but gave it up to live in Paris France and work for an oil trader. Believe me with my crappy French and cowboy hat I did not fit in there. I reckon clearly I was another odd duck in my life of being an odd duck. I think I did well there in Pugilism, Ramming and Futball. But they all knew I was only there long enough to get my knickers cleaned once or twice. I did not fit in.

So there was Boy Scouts. I was so crappy at it. Sure I had the merit badges and activities to go with Paul and get my doctorate of scouting, the Eagle, but I hung out with Youth Conservation Corps and Order of the Arrow and First Aid teaching. I was so stupid to not have that Eagle on my resume’. I just did not fit in. I really wanted to but God sometimes put’s his foot down and redirects us.

My Big Sister Made Me Learn This Song. She is Still a Hippie as it Seems

I Do Not Know

Sometimes I Think We Just Need To Sit Back And Say "What is is"
Sometimes I Think We Just Need To Sit Back And Say "What is is" | Source

If You Got Answers Let Us Know

Just a week ago we were going up Old Indian Trail. A road/trail/path about 4 miles up the Oak Creek from Sedona Arizona. The ground was dusty as no rain had fell for weeks. The track we saw was non distinct. My elder son of thirty something and my younger of seven called out Javelina. I called BS. It was White Tailed Deer. There is a curvature and spacing of the hoof print that is so similar that even a veteran tracker has issues with it. There I was with two of the finest trackers I know. Debating a hoof print in a land that knew more tracks than highways. They teamed together and out voted me. I taught the little dognosed sons of …..’s and here they were putting me as the odd man out. Do not worry the scat bore out my theory. White Tailed Deer for sure, no Prickly Pear in the remnants.

OK, call me weird but I was in my element. My sons seemed to like my element and that brings me great joy. Early the next morning brought me to the Glenn. Putrid smelling black moist mud. Close to a stream fed by a spring. Tiny little hand prints and a smoothing wiggle like thing behind. Strange it is as though a worm was chasing a totally small child crawling along it’s belly. Lighten up now friends that is a turtle being hunted down by an Arizona Diamondback Rattler. How more exciting does it get. I found the turtle and I found a curled up ready to strike Rattler. A stick makes the Rattler strike and a quick scoop gets the turtle up in one hand and off to the stream. Somebody pinch me and shake me and tell me that life gets better than that. Whahoo!!

So that takes me back to my horrible mom that planted me and made me live in an acreage that deprived me of social interaction. I got up in the morning and primed a pump. I followed my grandpa around as we gardened and took care of tools. I chased Rattle snakes and actually caught a few squirrels. At age 8 I caught enough Trout to feed the family, under my Grandpas tutelage of course. He taught me how to pick out good watercress and pull the exact right leaves off a dandelion for our salad. I dug ditches to irrigate our fruit trees.

Maybe one of the best things I did was a jig. Sure or sure I learned the Tennessee Waltz with my sisters and I know a Debutants sashes’. I was taught the Rambha and Salsa before I could pronounce them. I was stuck with a kerosene lamp reading and studying Plato. When I had done some chores and the crickets and frogs and cicada sung together I could go to bed.

And by golly the next day held clearing branches and streams and sweeping and straightening nails for grandpa. I made one of those fancy Argentinian flutes out of Horse Grass and played it for a week, until my good brother gave me an harmonica, which to this day both my sons can play but not I.

Nope We Had No Cottom Fields, But It Would Stand to Reason I Would Have Picked Some,

Now Would Ya'll Do Me A Solid and Love One another.'

I do declare that was the long way around a barrel of horse pucky. So I grew up in the woods. So I called a crow my friend instead of a classmate. Big deal. Or maybe is it a big deal. I went ahead and got a fancy doctorate. I spent a whole bunch of time studying crazy people – including myself. I found humans like my tracking of creatures. They leave a trail that once understood leads you to be able to beat them to where they go next. I did not fit in. I figure I never will. I look at you as an animal to be tracked. My point of reference is the Bobcat or the bear. I work of notions of drought and rain. I figure your abundance of food and your intolerance thereof or lack thereof.

I am a walking and breathing profiler. I read your track and decide what you will do next. What will you feed on? What path will you take to water? What and who is your next victim? Apply it to a jury pool and you get me. Not good, not bad just one of those “it is what it is”.

Maybe mom should have made me more normal. I think she thought I was “slow” because a rock would entertain me for hours. Somehow I have connected with others like my siblings, wife and children. Or maybe I only think I do.


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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      12 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Nithya I hope all is well with you. Thank you so much for your great article on Nitrogen. A must read.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 

      12 months ago from Dubai

      However we are the divine hand will guide us to do what we have to do in life whatever be the ups or downs. Thank you for sharing your life experiences.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      12 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I feel so bad for kids that don't get to play. My young one gets one hour a day, at least, just to explore by himself.

      And by the way I decided that you are the angel. And I thank you for choosing me.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 

      12 months ago from sunny Florida

      In many respects I did not fit in as a youth. I was as happy out looking at periwinkles along the shore...scooting along in a skiff looking for soft shell crabs...hanging out on the dock looping a piece of cotton string through a fish head and dangling it in the water teasing the crabs...and on and on....and it was a wonderful life. Thank you for sharing your journey with us Eric. You made me feel I was there.

      Angels once again are headed your way. ps

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      12 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Catherine I just spent four days with my four kids in the woods/canyon. No real cell service and for sure no other electronics. One thing was funny. I am the outsider with them. We laugh very often about how strange I am.

      I am so blessed.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image

      Catherine Giordano 

      12 months ago from Orlando Florida

      Living life as a misfit and an outsider hurts. On the other hand that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Yu bad experience led you to a place where yu could help others as you do with your inspirational essays.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      12 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Tim, I just could never be a fatalist. But I do think things happen for some grand "cosmic" "creator" plan. I label things so often so wrong.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      12 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hi Devika, thank you for coming by and letting me know your thoughts. I was doing some noting of when things have gone wrong for - at least that is how I saw it. But I can link all of those changing my life and a child of mine being born who would not have been. A strange truth.

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 

      12 months ago from Escondido, CA

      Eric, thanks for sharing your life, revelations, and wisdom. I wonder if those are keys to fitting the puzzle pieces together.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      12 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Life has its adventures good and bad and you shared yours well here.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      12 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Clive I love the short story that goes like this; "breathe in, breathe out, move on".

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      12 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks Venkatachari you remind me that what I have done for a living cannot meet the wellness from studying philosophy. It so influenced my older son that he also got a degree in the field. You should see the folks running out of the room when we get into the moral imperative of being a citizen.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      12 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Linda thank you for your kind comment. Just this last week I was thanked mightily by my children. We were in a special space where I grew up. They need not give thanks. They pick up a leaf or a bug or see and identify a bird. That they care about our nature is more thanks than a dad deserves.

      Can you imagine people really hugging trees? Such is my blessed life.

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 

      12 months ago from Jamaica

      Life breeds thoughts and experiences.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      12 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dora I think I need to revise some of this one. I just operated under the presumption that folks would know how treasured my life was and continues to be. But on reflection I think most folks don't have the value of nature ingrained.

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 

      12 months ago from Hyderabad, India

      Very interesting points shared by you from your life adventures. It always happens with people that we want to be something and we are forced to be something else. I also went through similar circumstances. I wanted to be a guitar player and a cricket star. But life wanted me to study Philosophy and work as an Accountant in a remote area suppressing all my desires.

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 

      12 months ago from Washington State, USA

      Eric, whatever path or paths you followed (or were drug down) is why you are the person you are today, and that's not the end of the story. Look at the outstanding children you have--each of them unique, amazing, inciteful human beings. Do you think they would be the people they are without you being you?

      I love all of your stories; you might have a smidgen of resentment because of things you were not allowed in your youth, but my GOODNESS it seems you've had a full life, lived well. You've experienced more in your 60 years than most would in several lifetimes.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      12 months ago from The Caribbean

      "God sometimes puts his foot down and redirects us." No truer truth; and in hindsight you find that you had adventure, anyway. You did well enough to write about it. How good is that?

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      12 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Bill. Life is a fun balancing act.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      12 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Oh, I think you connected just fine. I knew many a rock and called them friends. :)

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      12 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Oh my I must have missed your story. I was in a place with no cell or internet service, and as we could tell no radio either. Kind of an anti-electronic Vortex and I am not being weird, it seems normal above Sedona. I think that I am more concerned about my children than me. I am as happy as a Coot Owl. But maybe I am not as there for my own as a should be.

    • Larry Fish profile image

      Larry W Fish 

      12 months ago from Raleigh

      That is a great story, Eric. Thanks for sharing it. It is amazing for me to see what other people have gone through. Life sure does have its up and downs at every turn. I see your mom may have kept you from doing things that you wanted to do. For me it was the problem of alcoholism in my family. My last hub, In a Drunken Stupor, pretty much explains what I went through and in ways there are similarities.


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