America’s Internal Parry and Parley

There is a great word “parry” and another alike “parley”. The former is a move to fend off an attack. The Latter is to basically sit down and discuss options with an opponent. There is thrust and countermove and the only real difference is the level of human violence. But maybe not as we are seeing that words now hurt us more than sticks and stones. A new America maybe.

It seems to me that Yalta, Korean War armistice, and Vietnam “talks” are worthy for anyone to look at. No I do not mean as a study of history and yet I do. I read about matters like this for fun. Thank you I qualify as an information junkie or a nerd if you go back a decade before everyone had computers. Oh for sure, sometimes they laughed at us for playing chess after school and for being “bookworms”.

But as most reading this know I get way further out into the spiritual and philosophical. And one of the coolest things that I have found about the aforementioned “parleys” is that they work in my family. For those familiar with the above we even debate which table to sit at to hash out opposing positions.

The parry is an art form perhaps incorporated through the “Art of War” by Sun Tzu (and others). And most excellently played on with Steven Pressman’s “War of Art”. One the internal being made by the external and the other the external being made internal. No one knows the parry better than an accomplished courtroom/trial attorney yet the money is there to be made in the parley. Please note that on a whole lawyers can do serious damage or good with nary a sword of the physical lifted.

One of my favorite quotes of all times is “There must be space within and a space between”. (ed 2010)

As we look further into this let us take note. My seven year old does not need a “safe zone”. He fears no bully but knows some. He creates a “what is right” zone, and stays within it. His worse crime to date at school was not ratting out a friend. You can imagine the parent teacher conference and boy to dad talks. “If it harms another do whatever it takes to stop it, if it does not harm another keep your nose out of it”. Schools and I do not agree on such notions. (of course this is within the confines of report suspicious activity)

Below is an awesome display of parley. Perhaps Ginger and Fred even do a bit of romantic parry, that sexual tension that makes so many movies great.

The a tête-à-tête. Perhaps the most important kind of parley or even parry.

And neither do you or I completely agree here so let us take a look at the parry versus the parley. If you are at all interested with all the North Korea turmoil going on you should look at the ultimate parley. For sure it is one of the longest wars in modern history. (But check out the Dutch war of 1651-1986; 335 years without armed conflict for most of it.)

Back to Korea and war and parley. Did you know that South Korea and the Allied forces including the USA are still at war with North Korea? That blew my mind as I researched it. Yes, the sides only agreed to an Armistice, or cease fire. The war is still alive. So that parley for a negotiated time of cessation of hostilities is, not was one of the finest parleys ever.

To my understanding this notion of cease fire, is the champion of words over physical combat. Perhaps the pen is mightier than the sword. Some would hold on to the concept that any settlement of disputes needs both sides to walk away unsatisfied. Interesting idea.

We are not quite ready to move on into the “study” of parley and parry in our spiritual realm but close.

“Bullying”. As a child I liked to fight with fisticuffs. It was not the beatings either way. It was the ultimate game of parry. It was so cool. I could watch for a bigger guy bullying a smaller one. A space where there is no parry, just a whooping. No matter the outcome I was a hero like Sheriff Dillon or “Sarge” on Combat. Or maybe Rowdy Yates or the Lone Ranger. Could I even compare to John Wayne? You see there was very little about the little guy the parry was the end goal. Smashing my face into another’s fist was all part and parcel with the deal – “badge of honor”? You see bullies do not ever seek parry or parley. They simply prey on the weaker. Nations and Individuals, institutions, certain groups. If the goal of being aggressive is to inflict punishment on another, I say that goal is not worthy.

“Use our words instead of our fists” is just a wonderful idea, unless you are the kid being bullied. I was raised youngest of 6 siblings. And I was near the youngest in my grade. And I imagine I was bullied. I simply do not know of it. Defeated yes but bullied? I just cannot wrap my head around the idea for me.

There is an old story where Jesus confronts these maniacal idiots who are going to stone a lady to death for her sins. Now those stones would be a brutal hateful death. It would not be a parry it would be murder/homicide. Not two opponents but horrible hate on one side without the ability to parry on the other. It kind of makes one wonder at Socrates and Hemlock and the US death penalty.

When one has been captured and restrained by the governance without ability to defend of what point is the stoning?

There are things called fighting words. Such verbiage as to make justified physical reaction. There is a notion of defamation per se. Injurious statements as to ones character.

There are words that create danger though none exists. Yelling fire without there being one in a crowded theater. These are words that are an action in and of their selves. They are not parley they are not parry, they are verbalized disrespect. They are a cause of danger and panic.

America truly is a nation. A nation really is less about borders and far more about its people. Within its borders on just about every issue or level some chant for parley while others demand action. That is our space within. And like it is the appropriate space between the USA and other nations or peoples. And again some chant for parley and others demand parry.

America was actually founded more on a failed parley than the war of independence. What was parried for was actually the words of the Declaration of Independence. It started with “No taxation without representation.” But a refusal of England to seriously parley. Ended with the parry of a new nation.

We are in a proper phase of great conflict within our borders and between our people. We need to tone down the calls and rhetoric for parry and reignite our calls for parley.