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Angry, Controlling, Egotistical Women...Always Right? Always the Boss? Why is That?

Updated on August 25, 2013

Angry, Controlling Women

As an avid reader, I have read hundreds of books. Many times, the main character is a woman, who inevitably meets up with a man, and together they work to solve a mystery of some kind.

The woman is almost always a very strong personality, holding her own against whatever comes her way. A positive trait for anyone to have, right? What bothers me is that all too often, she is so angry...and that anger is directed at men in particular. The chip on her shoulder is the size of Texas, and it's so glaringly obvious that it gets annoying right away...

I see this out in public, in my family, on the internet, too. The women who "rule the roost", in other words. No one tells THEM what to do, or how to live their lives, and they won't even consider the idea of letting their husband in on decision-making. It's almost as if they think they will lose control of their whole life if they allow a male--even if it IS their husband--to help in any way.

It's as if they've forgotten that success in a relationship requires give and take from both parties. It's NOT losing control to share in decision-making. It's NOT being a doormat if your husband gets HIS way, sometimes.

Why should you, the woman, be the one in charge--make all the decisions? Why are you so much better qualified? Why are you so angry at the world?

Watch how her husband has NO control over this lady

Why Are These Woman SO Angry?

It makes me wonder...why are there really so many angry women out there in the world? Women who feel that they are so much more important than men that no man can even come close to measuring up to their standards, so they just dismiss them out of hand as inferior to them?

And what made them so angry? A bad relationship, possibly, or an abusive father or male relative? A boss who made a pass at her? Or are they just born with this aura of self-importance, of narcissism?

I can't wrap my mind around this attitude. Maybe because I have never felt the need to be "superior" to any man--I would rather a relationship be equal...with no superior egos "in charge", husband OR wife.

I was once in a lop-sided relationship, to someone who didn't respect me, and who always felt like the world revolved around him. But I didn't let him turn me against men in general--I knew better than to think that all men were like that. I had been raised by a wonderful father who was loving and caring to his wife, and to his children. And I have had many male relatives who have been very special to me, too, and who always treat me with kindness.

If I had adapted the "angry woman" persona, I would have never met and married the man whom I have loved and cherished for 25 years. If I had decided that all men were unworthy of me, I would never have known what it would be like to be married to someone who loves and cherishes me in the same way I do him.

So I wonder--are these women truly satisfied, living their lives angry at the world? Don't they realize what joys they are missing out on? Is it more important to them to be right all the be "in charge" every single minute of their lives?

Let The Anger Go...

As far as I'm concerned, life is about compromise--giving a little, taking a little--from everyone around you. Going through life being angry and proud can only hurt you--while letting go of the anger can be a positive action.

Bitterness and stubbornness will weaken a person, while compassion and caring will strengthen them...and it is much harder to be compassionate and caring when times are tough, so if you think about it--being angry, stubborn and prideful is actually the easy way out...

So then... what does that REALLY make you?


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    • TamCor profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy Cornett 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      freecamingaussie--Oh, I so agree with you. I don't like getting into a new book and finding out the woman in there is "one of those" drives me crazy. And you're right--these women give "real" women a bad name, and I hate that.

      Thanks for your comment--I appreciate it! :)

    • freecampingaussie profile image


      6 years ago from Southern Spain

      I found you in the forum ! This hub is so true . I was reading a book the other day and the anger was horrifying . So many guys are put down for no good reason by angry bitchy females who give us a bad name .

    • TamCor profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy Cornett 

      7 years ago from Ohio

      Seeker7--Thank you SO much for your rant, lol! I'm glad to see that you have noticed this "trend", also, and that you see how popular it seems to be these days.

      You're right--there's just nothing more annoying than these Hollywood-styled angry women, dressed like men, weighing 95 lbs, soaking wet, but beating up men three times their just makes me roll my eyes, every time I see it. :)

      I really like what you said here:

      "Real females have real power and strength, and we don't need to dress like a man, talk like a man or hate men to compete and win fairly in this world."

      That says just what I've been trying to say...thank you! :)

    • TamCor profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy Cornett 

      7 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks Tom, for explaining in so much more detail about the pressures society puts on women. Now, if only those women would not fall for all the hype, and live without all those pressures that they put on themselves by trying to live up to it all...

      I love this statement that you made:

      "The strongest women I've ever known were calm in storms and the very joy of life. They don't need to bitch at a man...they are simply honest with class."

      That pretty much says it all! :)

    • Seeker7 profile image

      Helen Murphy Howell 

      7 years ago from Fife, Scotland

      Hi, this is a fascinating hub. I think there probably are women like that for one reason or another in real life. Many no doubt have a legitimate reason for their anger. As for the rest, well it's just a bad attitude I guess.

      But you've made a lot of good observations about female characters. It's similar with the film world. It seems like you can't watch a movie now without having a stupid icon of a macho woman, making a screeching, smart-arse entrance and taking over the show - and yes she hates men, has to compete with men and defiantely has to be superior to them. It is now all so predictable.

      I will start to watch a film and as soon as I see the female dressd in a vest and combo pants, I think, "oh no, here we go again"! The vest and combos seem to be compulsory fashion for these rage-filled steroidal females - dressing like a real female is obviously unfashionable and demeaning. So the movie goes on with the usual crap of the female vest-combo shooting, punching and kicking anything that moves, taking great care to maintain the image of the man hating, gun toting, Bruce Lee wannabe, know-all, smart-arse persona! I personally find many of them hilarious but movies need to get a grip and get some real 'femninity' back into the film world.

      Real females have real power and strength, and we don't need to dress like a man, talk like a man or hate men to compete and win fairly in this world.

      Sorry about the rant, but I did so enjoy your hub that I felt myself compelled to jump on my soap box. LOL!! Many thanks for sharing this great article.

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 

      7 years ago from Ohio

      I think women are angry because of the same old identity crap that the media and corporations have been making money off of for years. The new improved Hollywoody woman is macho, totally independant and almost always a smart a**. She doesn't need a man except for occasional bedroom encounters.

      Younger males find this extremely attractive. It all but erases any responsibility of having an emotional attatchment. He can even marry such a woman...have children and then leave the nest to find another one just like her...(a bit younger of course). She will take on most of the emotional and at least half of the finacial responsibilties by working hard or succumbing to a life of welfare.

      Either way...the male can have procreated and shun most of the everyday burdens of raising their children....while in the arms of another woman who (LOL) understands him?

      The chaos of love and lost love creates a massive market! A woman starting a new life will need a new the goodies of dating. A man will spend lots of money on his new girl...then...possibly second and third set of wedding rings. Corporations....who control the media along with Hollywood want women to hate men and they want men to continue being thoughtless and irresponsible so that women can hate them more. It sells a lot of crap!

      Can you imagine...just the clothing industry alone. A teenage girl buys skimpy and popular clothing to attract boys. young woman...buys hottest styles to attract young men. Gets married...buys comfy clothing, baby clothes, etc. Gets divorced...starts dating and goes back to buying sexy clothing. It is very good for business but very bad for people.

      There just isn't much they can sell to a happy couple who are content with life. Multiple weddings sell more taosters! The strongest women I've ever known were calm in storms and the very joy of life. They don't need to bitch at a man...they are simply honest with class.

    • TamCor profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy Cornett 

      7 years ago from Ohio

      Thank you Raven King...Happy 4th to you, too! :)

    • Raven King profile image

      Raven King 

      7 years ago from Cabin Fever

      Good for you.

      Happy Fourth of July! :)

    • TamCor profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy Cornett 

      7 years ago from Ohio

      Thank you Raven King, for your take on this! You posted this a week ago, and I've been thinking about it ever since, trying to figure out how to reply. :)

      You mentioned that these angry women fall victim to society's expectations. Well, I feel that they make the choice to feel victimized, in the circumstances you describe, most of the time.

      Society says they have to take care of the home, the kids, AND have a paid job? Well, no they don't. I didn't work outside of the home, and I have zero regrets, or guilt, that I didn't live up to society's standards. I made that choice, and my husband backed me up on it--I didn't care what anyone else thought.

      As far as being forever young, slim, working hard...another instance where it's their personal choice, don't you think? They put those pressures on themselves by allowing "society" to call the shots for them. I can't imagine living my life by what others thought was "acceptable".

      There were many times in our marriage that we had no one to help us when we needed it, many, many times. We got angry a few times, sure, but then we let it go...we had to, for our own peace of mind. Holding on to anger hurts no one but yourself, and those close to you.

      I have a friend who is 52, divorced for many years, and raised her twin sons on her own, when their father stepped out of the picture. She learned to do many things by necessity around her house, including climbing on her roof to fix it, cleaning out gutters, cutting down tree limbs, etc. She learned how to put up ceiling fans herself, fix plumbing by herself, and so much more.

      She feels better because she DID do it herself, and didn't rely on anyone else. She isn't an angry person at all, even though she had a lot of reasons to be one.

      I do understand what you are saying, but I guess that I just don't make your own way in life, and doing it without that angry chip on your shoulder makes life so much better.

      I did learn this from experience, a long time ago...I'd seen anger eat up lives, and make people miserable. I just hate to see others doing the same thing, and missing out on so much of the good things in life. :)

    • Raven King profile image

      Raven King 

      7 years ago from Cabin Fever

      Hi TamCor, I am not an angry woman, but I can understand why they are angry. Society does expect more from women. Society expects a woman to cook, clean, make babies, take care them and go to a paid job. I find it takes a lot. The expectations to be forever young, slim, working hard.

      If you look carefully at those angry women you might find that when they needed help there was no support for them, no help for them. If they needed a roof to be fixed the handyman expects to be paid $100 per hour! When they needed more there was no one to ask. It seems men are eager to help only other men, not women. They never begged for money. There was no one to help them when they needed some to take care of their child. They alone bear their own burden so when they see an aggressive panhandler it makes them kind of angry.

    • TamCor profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy Cornett 

      7 years ago from Ohio

      Hi fucsia--I agree that these women aren't in the majority, thank goodness.

      Whatever their reasons, I wish they would get over themselves, because to me, they make the rest of us look bad. lol

      Thanks for your comment! :)

    • fucsia profile image


      7 years ago

      I do not think that this kind of women are the majority, but surely some women are as you described them. A friend of mine, for example, once was very angry with all men in the world, until luckily ( fo me!!!) she found her love. I really do not understand this attitude, maybe it born for a kind of fear to be less than someone.

    • TamCor profile imageAUTHOR

      Tammy Cornett 

      7 years ago from Ohio

      So true, Feline Prophet...if only they could work through their anger...

      Thanks for coming by! :)

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 

      7 years ago

      There are a lot of angry people out there - it's such a waste of their lives!


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