Baldness Is Me and Here Are Reasons Why
Let us begin
I am not a bully. Never have been considered a bully, troublemaker, or instigator of tension among innocent bystanders. Funny, somehow these positive images could mean that I might be thought of as a panty-waist behind my back.
And all of these years I have thought that I was a down-to-earth, decent, law abiding guy. A guy who people friend or stranger respected. I never said admired. Respected will do.
But an article I read not long ago stated that from a psychological standpoint, men with a full head of hair (like I used to have) had a secret fear that eat at them around the clock. The fear: no one at school, work, even church would respect them like they would respect a bully or card-carrying gang leader--back in the day when gang leaders did not peddle drugs and did have slicked back hair with a duck tail.
Face it, friends
Just look at the collection of famous bald men to the right. You will notice right off that all of these guys are bald, all except Bobby Janiec of TruTV's Hardcore Pawn. He shaves his head and declares his bald head a "choice." Do you see any of these men being panty-waists, ninety-eight pound weaklings, or men easily pushed around?
If you do, you are missing the point completely. Personally I would not mess with any of these guys out of pure respect for their physical prowess in self-defense and good old, all American street brawling.
with baldness was at the age of 18. I woke up one morning and noticed a small shining place underneath the top of my hair. That shiny place was a patch of scalp grinning from hair follicle to follicle, "Hey, Ken! Guess what? You are losing your hair little by little all because of me." I laughed to myself.
Months later I stopped laughing to myself or any other way because my hair on top and around my head area was so thin you could read a comic book through the strands of hair that were holding on for dear life. I have some fond memories of those brave hair strands and will remember them always.
I struggled with this baldness from age 18 until age 21. At age 21, my wife and I got hitched. Now do not read into this segment that marrying the love of my life was the reason for my balding. This was going on before we met.
I was older and felt it necessary to change my appearance. When I did have what hair I was left with, I looked much like a circus clown and that did not fly with me. So one day I took some hair clippers (for humans, not pets) and buzz cut my hair down to the scalp. Wow! What a great feeling of sudden freedom.
But having patches of hair even so short you couldn't pinch them with your thumb and forefinger, so I took some Edge hair gel (pardon the commercial plug, Christy at HubPages), and in a few strokes, I was bald as a newborn babe. Now I admit that I was a novice in shaving my head, so there were a few bloody streaks left in the wake of my new look.
People at work and church all gasped in either surprise or delight. A mixed bag of human reaction. I simply told these people, "I wanted a new look. An efficient look, so here I am.." By efficient look I meant when getting ready to go with my wife to eat, I no longer had to blow-dry, comb and get my hair just right. With my new bald look I saved myself an average of 20 minutes. It worked, folks.
And now, here is my headline and rest of my text to finish this hub:
Baldness Becomes Me and Here Are Reasons Why
Just for the ladies
Efficiency: like I stated in the last paragraph above, I save 20 minutes or more each time that I get dressed for church or an outing. Plus, with showering the night before, add another 10 minutes to my dressing time. So all in all, I save a half an hour when I get ready to go somewhere.
Deception: I know that this word is harsh, but I suppose inside myself is "that" fear of my wife and I walking into a truck stop when traveling to just get a bite to eat and some tough trucker who holds hatred for regular motorists starts trouble with me. All I have to do now is look intently into his face and not bat an eye. The troublemaker is at a disadvantage. He (or she) doesn't know what I am capable of and frankly, neither do I about him or her. I could add, "I put up with punks like you in Vietnam and when I was made to retire, I said no more." If the troublemaker is not a Vietnam vet him or herself, I may have it made.
Looks: sure I want to be appealing, even "hot" to my wife and other women if they want to look at me. I admit honestly to having a male ego even at age 63. And truth be told, at my age, looks is all I have.
Self Entertainment: unless you are a man, you cannot understand this. Well, maybe you ladies get excited when you shave your legs. Yeah, you can relate. But I find it very entertaining to wet my head in hot water, lather the Creamo (Sorry, Christy at HubPages, for the cheap plug) on my scalp and within ten minutes, my head is pretty and slick again. Sometimes I shave my head twice to just make sure that I have gotten all of the straggler stubble.
Laziness: yes, this is the next-to-the- main reason I shaved my head years ago. I just got weary of the covering-up, combing over and trying desperately to look younger. I grew up. And hey, if the handsome guys in the photos above can look good with a bald head why can't I?
Male ego: when you look at all of the rich, powerful, attractive male celebrities with bald heads and then look at the photo of me, be honest, do you think that I could be mistaken for one of these handsome guys?
Thank you and good night, Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Would you dare push this guy around?
© 2016 Kenneth Avery