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Battling the sexual wave

Updated on September 21, 2012

Sex is not everything in life to worry about

We live in a world obsessed with sex. In music, novels, poems, television, you name it… everywhere; the sexual wave has attacked us like possibly never before. While it is true that humanity has always and will always be generally sexual (the “generally” is important because there is a small number of humans who have a lack of interest of sex, namely the asexuals. There is also a group of “sexual” people who do not view sex as important or fascinating as others, and are more into other things and can control their desire pretty much well, namely the celibates. Together they make up from 2 to 5% of the human population), today, because of the improvement in technology and the different mechanisms to communicate, sex is around us in a way where there is almost no way to escape from it unless basically ignoring it. If you are in an interstate, you will find billboards like “Adult Entertainment”, “We Bare All”, and the like, and if you drive in a main highway with lights and stops, you will probably find some place where there are sexual toys or even brothels. If you turn on the radio, and you listen to either news, songs or comedy shows, you will most likely listen to something related to sex. “I want you in my arms”, “let’s be together tonight”, “I’ll make love to you”, or even in a news program you will listen to someone talking about the benefits of sex. It’s like air, you will find it, everywhere.

Now, before I go on with this hub on the terrible consequences of not battling this sexual wave in terms of how it is turning humans into less and less rational creatures as well as boosting overpopulation and deceases, let’s be clear that in itself, sex is not bad and if done in the right manner and the correct moment and circumstance, it is good. The problem is when people are becoming more obsessed with it to the point in which innocence is lasting only a few years before a person of as low as 8 years old knows everything about sex because he or she listens to it everywhere, especially in school where they meet other children who can be more informed on this issue.

Everything in excess is bad. Including sex.

With the invention of the Internet, people have much more access to it than never before. Prior to the Internet, people recurred to pornography by means of watching television and magazines like Playboy, where it may be found mostly in the form of “soft” pornography- basically nudity and position of the body. There could be more “graphical” forms of pornography but they were much harder to find and they were more prone to be stopped by means of the police or government authorities. Today, the Internet has eased the way people can watch all forms of pornography including those who can be disturbing and highly criminal. And what is more alarming is not this, but that there is a large number of people who use it, perhaps more than people may think- millions, maybe 9 digits.

In the news, cases of pedophilia, pederasty, rape, and even zoophilia are more common. The most common reaction from people to these types of sexual crimes is that of asking for the attacker to be imprisoned forever or even killed for the vileness of their actions. But what people do not seem to consider is why don’t ask themselves what causes some people to turn this vile. What is what makes a person to feel attracted to children, strangers and animals? How can this happen, why doing that to an innocent person or animal?

The answer is tough, but is as follows: we are all to blame for this. Our obsession with sex is having terrible implications in our society. As we ask more and more about sexual situations, and are always curious about the issue to the point that it is said that most men only think about sex, then we get bombarded by sex in all forms. For me it is highly nauseating that everywhere I go there is no way from escaping the sexual wave. Now, what is the sexual wave? The sexual wave is simply the marketing of things related to sex everywhere in addition to seeing people taking about it all the time like there is nothing else interesting in the planet. People who are obsessed with sex generally ask for more, and more, and more. This is why today promiscuity is so common. Although it has always been high, the problem today is that it is highly tolerated. In the universities and where there is a group of people who are generally not related to each other, it is normal that people change partners like if it means nothing. While there are things that protect them from becoming pregnant or ill with deceases like gonorrhea or syphilis, or hepatitis, they can just do the thing like if they are washing a car or cooking, without caring about the moral and emotional implications of their actions.

Therefore, it is really not surprising to see many people involved in sexual rape. There is a lot of people with hidden fantasies as a consequence of letting the sexual wave taking over them. These fantasies can be very complex as well as dangerous. Some are being highly tolerated which is not a good thing- like swingers, threesomes and multiple people (orgies). As the obsession with sex goes stronger, it can turn into something more dangerous, like sexual attraction to strangers, married people and finally innocent beings like children and animals. People with a highly sexual disorder will never be satisfied and once a fantasy is reached, they will think of the next fantasy. Television and media helps people to, inadvertently, go on to achieve those fantasies. But what they don’t think is how they are helping these people to become more and more sexually sick.

How adult hypocrisy kills children’s innocence

As children, if we are raised in a typical Christian home, here in the United States, we are taught that sex without love and outside the God’s rules is bad. Yet, we look at some news on rapist and pederast pastors and priests, or we hear on how the pastor of the local church was adulterous. When we ask them, they say “I am human and therefore I am not perfect”. Really, what kind of excuse is that to “justify” an action that is contrary to what they preach? As said before, technology today as made it a lot easier to know more about what happens around us. It’s just a matter of minutes to go to Google, search for “Pastor involved in scandal” and you will find a huge list of news on different incidents in the last months and years. A 12 year old boy can do that to tell his father and mother why they don’t believe in going to church or saving themselves for marriage. We want our children and younglings to stay as innocent and pure as possible just to surprise them when they become adults that the world is full of evil and that their innocence is going to promise them a hell of a time as adults. Today, most adults ASSUME that you, as an adult, are extremely obsessed with sex. I remember once I went to Philadelphia and I was with a friend a two more guys and we were eating, and then one of them who was driving, thought of going to the local go-go. I was extremely uncomfortable but thanks to God something happened and he forgot and we did not go. They assumed I, as a guy, liked those kinds of places.

The Eternal Argument: Can a man and a woman who are not related by any filial means be only friends?

Recently I moved to Tampa and had to go to a complex where I have roommates. When asked in the process of being leased, they asked me if I preferred with males or coed. As a celibate man who wants no type of relationship in any form, I answered that it did not matter to me, that they could put me in any of the two. I would have preferred with ladies because in this aspect of the sexual wave they are much more mature than men generally speaking, but I went with one woman and two guys, and because it is a matching program looks like all three are respectful so far. The issue here is that any other man in my situation, generally speaking, would have said to go with the females so he could find some sort of romantic or sexual partner. If I was put with all females, surely I could not confirm any of them would look at me with “sexual” eyes, but I am pretty sure I could. Men and women that are unrelated by any form of filial attachment (brother-sister, cousins, etc.) can be friends without any kind of sexual bond or chemistry. I have female friends, most of them married and they respect me as I respect them, and for me it is really easy perhaps because I have never been really that attractive so in my case the possibility of a woman to feel attracted to me is much more less than me being attracted to her. Because I want no girlfriends, no wives, no relationships of any kind I can have female friends so long the general tendency of them not looking at me with particular interest is met. But the answer to the eternal question of males and females being only friends is, unfortunately, relative. Generally speaking- a man or woman who is obsessed with sex cannot be friends with a person the opposite sex, unless that person is homosexual (the sexually obsessed person). For sexually obsessed homosexuals, the same problem happens but towards the same gender- a homosexual man who is sexually obsessed will not be able to have a male friend and especially if that male friend is straight, because the homosexual does not have control of his feelings and will eventually create some sort of situation that can end up wrong.

A heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman can be just friends but that does not mean in the inside there could be some sort of attraction. The problem is how we handle the attraction. The sexual wave tells us to “follow our hearts”. A well-trained and used brain tells us to “be aware”. If both the woman and the man feel attracted to each other and there are no implications or situations to worry about then their friendship can turn into a romantic relationship without any further problem. But if the attraction is not reciprocal, then the person who feels the attraction must control it. A sexually obsessed person cannot do that. An immature person, generally a teenager or younger adult is generally sexually obsessed because of the lack of knowledge and experience in certain issues, but when the person has enough age, then a sexual obsession can be a serious problem. Every person who is sexual (that is, those who are NOT asexuals) have to control their feelings. Everything requires control. “Following our hearts” leads us to lose control of our feelings and actions. You can feel attracted to a friend, but if that friend does not respond the way you wish, then you cannot force her or him. Recently a lady requested my friendship on Facebook and she told me she wanted to be my friend. I am not the kind of person to be extremely extrovert especially with unknown people, but as soon as I visited her profile page I knew this “seeking friendship” was bogus, as there were many posts about love, romance and the like, and she wanted to see if I could eventually something more. I am very serious about not wanting any form of romantic relationship. But because it was something I “thought” I was polite to her in all of her conversations with me, until the so expected question came: “do you have a girlfriend?” which prompted me to respond that I was not worried about that. Several days later, she deleted me from Facebook. She was definitely not looking for friendship as I previously imagined. In fact I was glad she deleted me and for safety, I blocked her.

You see, society and media has made many people to see everything in a romantic language. The hopeless romantic is so desperate for love that they will look and look and will have to deal with the consequences of their desperation. Today, there are many people who do not believe men and women can be friends without any further “intimate attachment” that can lead to sexual attraction. Because the music they love to listen to, the shows they watch and the novels they love to read teach them that man plus woman equals sex and romantic love. This lady I described above was possible that case. Someone who read, listened and watched romantic rubbish all her life expecting me to be the man from any of those books or TV shows. I guess men like me are not abundant, but we are out there, the celibates, those who enjoy having a free time and share time with family and friends only.


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