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Being Childless in a Baby-Obsessed World

Updated on November 4, 2012

Being Childless in a Baby-Obsessed World

Ebing chidless in a baby-obsessed world isn’t easy. It seems having babies is ‘in thing’ given the numerous kid shows on TV and the ultimate baby bump celebrity obsession. Fans of mega star couples await anxiously for the next baby announcement like nothing else exists in life. What drives this obsession?

I am not claiming it a bad thing. I just want the who, what, when, where, and how. That is not easy to determine. America and much of the world has always been family- friendly. I think the media just stepped it up a notch. I recall the Mcaughy septuplets birth in the late1990’s via IVF and what a media circus it was. The family enjoyed attention many months after the births. Their pictures were splattered on dozens of magazines all over the country. This was before reality tv. Fast forward a few years later. A nurse named Kate Gossslin has 6 babies via IVF. The Gosselins already had two children.

Parenthood and marriage is the expected default in society. People start to question you if you aren’t married with the average 2.5 kids in tow by the time you are 25. I don’t know why others feel free to be nosy in the lives of others. I dealt with the questions myself and shrugged them off. Why is it anyone’s business who has kids or gets married? Divorce rates are high enough as it is without being pushed into something you may not be ready for yet. For some, it is much simpler to stay childless and single.

There are a few single women who choose get pregnant through sperm donors and other artificial methods. They felt their biological clock ticking away and it didn’t matter about having a steady life partner. All they wanted was a child. I am not passing judgment on these women. I just wonder who would want to bring a child in the world with no partner to help and no means of financial support ? Octomom comes to mind here. Her desires to have children came before giving them a steady home. I cringe each time I read someone who is single/childless over 35 getting accused of being picky. I am old-fashioned in the sense that every child needs both parents. This does not mean they must be married. They just need to be involved in the child’s life. I promised myself never to have children unless I could include a steady partnership in which to raise them.

Holidays can be hard for someone infertile or childless by design which means they haven’t found the right partner or the partners don’t want children. Most holidays are geared toward kids. Mother’s day and Father’s Day can be especially depressing for them. I know the feeling. I am married with no kids but not by choice. I use to obsess over this stuff and await for the day I could enjoy it. I finally realized it wasn’t worth being downcast over being childless because of one day out of the year or any time. Obsessing over things you can’t control is not healthy. It is still tough watching kids handing out their little cards and gifts on Mother’s Day or making a Christmas present for their parents.

Society makes it tough to be childless. They obviously favor parents. Two things I wonder: Why does one’s primary focus have to be on marriage and kids and why does one’s value rest solely on parental status? No one should ever feel guilty or left out over being childless by choice or not. I am hoping this changes in the future and society realizes we aren’t all cut from the same cloths. Joy and fulfillment can come from other avenues.

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    • gmwilliams profile image

      Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Good morning Amanda, long time no see. I read this hub with interest. Childfree women are stigmatized in this pro-natalist culture where it is believed that every right thinking woman should be a mother. Not every woman wants to be a mother. There are many childfree women who led fulfilling lives. Voted UP. The very same people who criticiz childfree women go into histrionics when THEY are criticized. Go figure.

      P.S. Childless women should not let the pro-natalists make them feel negatively regaring their situation. Things occur for a reason. God bless and much love Amanda.

    • Amanda Roddy profile image
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      Amanda Roddy 3 years ago

      I had little internet access for awhile except my Android or someone else'e computer. I bump my neighbors internet and they stayed out a while. They are back for now, anyway. I also have another hub on this subject. Since the content mills look empty, I may write another hub or two. There was an article on time last month on the child-free life. However, this article focuses on the child-free. It doesn't address women/men who are childless by cirucmstance. Women get accused of being picky or waiting for a fairy tale. men get accused of being Peter Pans. Heck yes I was picky about finding a husband given the high divorce rates. I wasn't choosing just anyone to meet societal expectations. And it could some of us do not want children or marriage. Thanks for the positve comment.

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      KLynn 2 years ago

      I agree! I was faced with a medical decision at 29 which left me unable to ha e kids and had no idea how it would affect my relationship with all my girl friends who are baby obsessed or already starting families. They didn't even console me when I was having a hard time with it as if it is too embarrassing of an issue to bring up. I get asked constantly when I'm going to make babies as if it is my duty and akward apologies when people find out my circumstance. I hope this will all change soon!

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      2 years ago

      I am a cat

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