ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Being pushed too far: losing your temper and how far is far enough

Updated on May 19, 2009

Losing your temper and how far is enough

It seems that most of the time a person loses their temper because of a situation that seems out of their control. A lot of times a person loses their temper because of fighting with another person. Sometimes the situation or argument starts off small and then tempers start flaring or sometimes an event that seems out of control such as an altercation with the law and many other things can trigger a person to be set off and lose their temper.

No matter what the situationis or who is right and wrong there is always a breaking point. The breaking point for some people might be within a few seconds of feeling a confrontation. Some people's breaking point might be right when they think that they are right and that means even if it's only seconds into a discussion/argument. Some people lose their temper at the littlest and slightest thing and others have such a severe temper that they seem angry all the time and will lose their temper at any given time without warning. The list can go on and on about different ways that people lose their tempers.

So how far enough is enough? Most people know when they are at the brink of losing their temper but they find it extremely hard to just stop themselves and they end up yelling, saying things they do not mean, throwing things around and sometimes they get into physical altercations and more.Both of the people involved in the discussion/argument both should have the self-control to take a step back or to simply walk away or just stop themselves when they feel their tempers rising.

Most people do not know how or when they should control themselves. Below are some examples of situations and how each person on each side can control themselves. It is all common sense and people will think it is easier said then done. Other people will say it is way too hard and impossible to simply just take the high road in the middle of a heated debate or argument and the excuses and reasons can go on with people. However if people simply just do it then they will be doing much better for themselves emotionally.

Grown kids and parents

There are many instances where grown children and parents lose their temper with each other. In many circumstances the grown children are alcoholics ( only an example ) and that can cause tension when the grown adult is around their parents or even living with them. So read below on how both parties can control themselves.

The parents might see their son/daughter often or maybe they even let their son/daughter live with them. If the son/daughter is an alcoholic then tensions can keep building up daily and the parents could end up getting angrier by the day. This wouldd probably continue for awhile until the day comes and the parents ( or one of the parents ) loses their temper and starts to yell and scream. The parent will probably hear something back in defense from the son/daughter and then the swearing and name calling will kick in and so forth. In this situation the parents could have gone out of their way and sought out help for their son. The parents could have also bluntly asked their son/daughter to leave the home for good or get help and then offer a home to them when they are better.

The son/daughter will probably have a different point of view. They will look at themselves as ther victim and will feel attacked. They will probably fight back thinking they are defending themselves and they too will end up probab;ly saying things that they do not mean.

Both sides could have dealt with the situation a little better. Again if one of the sides had self control and used it right when they felt tensions the problem could have most likely been solved. Either one of the parties could have easily backed down or simply think of a better way of solving the tension and prevent losing their temper.

Of coures the list could go on and on about different sceniors between parents and their kids. This was just one example and in most cases any situation can be solved even if that means swallowing pride and feeling like you did wrong when you were right.

Teachers and students

Sometimes tensions between students and teachers can cause one or the other too lose their temper. Sometimes the teachers do favor one student or act like they have it out for another and that can cause major tensions between the student and teacher. After a short time or after some time passes the teacher or student can end up losing their temper and act irrationally.

When it comes to students and teachers it may seem like the teacher might assume that they are in a position of authority and that makes them right in any and all debates. The teacher might also have an issue with one particular student and pone day the teacher could end up losing their temper. They might end up pulling the student aside and talking in an offensive manner ( yelling, talking down, swearing etc.. ) and so forth. This can go on at any grade level and with any kind of teacher.

The student on the other hand could be unhappy with one of his teachers. The student might think that pone teacher has it out for them and that they are getting treated unfairly. The student might start to act out and act disruptive or even start acting in a threatening manner and so forth. Again this can go on at any grade level.

The teacher and student both have a responsibility when they go to their classes. If the teacher and student have tension between one another then one of them needs to do the right thing and get help. If an altercation is about to erupt then one or the other needs to imply back off and back down. Once the situation is calm then the person that backed down should think logically and try to deal with the situation in the right manner.

Again this is just an example and the list could go on and on about how teachers and students both lose their tempers with one another.

Boyfriend and girlfriend

 When people get into a relationship things sometimes change and sacrifices are made on both ends. A lot of times one of the two do not like where the relationship is headed and they tend to throw the sacrifices back in the faces of the person they are committed to. Arguments usually start off small and then they explode into something bigger. Jealousy, trust, and so many other reasons can trigger one of the two to lose their temper.

Things in a relationship can quickly go bad when either something small or big causes one of the two partners to lose their temper. Things will get said, swear words will get thrown around, things such as the past will be thrown in the face and even worse the argument can lead to someone being the victim of physical abuse and so forth.

No matter what the argument is over either one of the two involved could end it easily. One of the two could have simply walked away and calmly told the other they are going to cool off and go for a walk, drive, swim or anything too avoid the confrontation. However if one of the persons involved in the relationship does not want to be with the other person then they should simply tell them. It is wrong to lead another person on and it is an act of selfishness.

Again this is just one example of one situation that a couple might face and the point is that every argument could probably be sorted out befoe someone loses their temper.


Husband and wife

 This is almost the same thing as being boyfriend and girlfriend except with one major difference and that is THAT TWO PEOPLE TOOK promise to love each other and care for each other for the rest of their lives. Therefore the couple need to work even harder then anyone else out there because marriage is a major thing or should be considered a major thing.

Certain things should not be said and things about the marriage ( such as " I wish I never married you ) should never be said because once that bridge is crossed then the couple will probably say things often if and when they do fight and tempers will probably flare often and if not then when someone does lose it they will really let go on their other half.

When one of the two feel a strong desire to lose their temper then that is when they need to take a step back and try their hardest to control themselves, whether they are right or wrong. If one of the two are having strong doubts about the marriage then they should be upfront with the person and take the necessary steps to solve the problem so tensions do not rise. 

Again this is just one of the many examples that could be listed. When people are married then they should take that marriage as the most serious thing in their lives and even if one of the two needs to put pride aside then so be it.

The law and civilians

 Law officers and civilians both can lose their tempers with each other and usually the civilian can end up really losing it if they think tat they are right. Other times an officer might be wrong and lose their temper with an innocent civilian.

A good example is when an officer pulls a civilian over in their vehicle. Right from the start there can be tensions for no reason on both sides. The officer or the driver might have had bad days and they think that the traffic stop is just the icing on the cake. If that's the case then someone is definitely bound to lose their temper or one of the sides will sense tension and hostility. The officer might approach and talk in a threatening or intimating manner and the civilian might do the same thing. Tempers can erupt slowly in this situation and chances are that if the civilian erupts they will be arrested.

Both sides here can and shou;ld be able to control themselves but in a case like this it is best for the civilian to not lose their temper or let their tension show. There is always a way to do the right thing and the right thing is probably to just fight the ticket instead of arguing or questioning it with the officer because this will probably cause the other side to get angry and possibly lose their temper. A civilian can always go to court to question why they were pulled over and so forth.

Once again this is just one simple example of how officers and civilians can control or deal with their tempers. This is just one of the many situations that a civilian and officer can lose their tempers in.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image 

      8 years ago

      Very helpful article =D

      I kinda have the "Grown kids and parents" problem

      I find my temper usually rises from my parents just being around

      Thanks for help ^^


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)