Waiting for your Beloved Precious to Exhale because she ran the Green Mile after Eating Chicken at the Monsters Ball

One of THOSE movies just got nominated. You know what I mean when I say those. Movies about blacks that have storylines where most things don't seem to work out. Sadly too many blacks are fooled by this and actually call these hopeless movies "well-written," or "real." The latest of these modern Blaxploitation flicks was just nominated for 5 Oscars.

Back in the early '90's I used to write that the then-motion picture rage of black male-bashing based on novels by black females; "Waiting to Exhale" and the '80's "Color Purple" were the new "Birth of a Nation." The only difference is, "Birth" openly disparages blacks, no surprise once you consider who produced and directed the film; the son of a Confederate Army Colonel, D.W. Griffith. What's going on with "Precious" is worse, it's about an overweight black teenage girl living in Harlem being sexually abused by her biological father and physically, emotionally, and verbally abused by her mother. It's many a white producer's dream, like some of the other titles I point to earlier, it's based on a novel written by a black female that deals up close with black incestuous licentiousness, weakness and buffoonery. I take no issue with the authors, it's their right and priviledge to write what they want. If their work becomes a screenplay I can't hate on them. It's the Hollywood suits who choose the story and they're motive that I question. After all, bookstores have a lot going on with black authors and storytellers nowadays, screenwriters have a whole array of black fiction, non-fiction and a large range of stories to decide on. What's the problem?

The problem is within certain commonalities of the storylines that are chosen and the ethnicity of most of the producers doing the choosing. I can't allude to any concurrent outwardly liberal parts (all-black or mostly-black cast) and covertly racist plots (lots of lazy, vulgar behaviors and sexual deviancy and violence) as safely being of a Jewish nature, but it's clear what we have here is a... Frankenstein. A movie completely backed by money and lies. Packaged loosely as a closet-sex awareness story. The implication; 'we know so much about you blacks, that we even know about your pedophiles and family-sex offenders and we're going to show you're poor little (or big) victims important ways of getting help.'

Run Precious run. Run to the light-skinned blacks and lesbians and take yo' bucket of Soul Bird witchoooguuurl. Rated XXX and XXXL by an all-white jury, based on a novel called "PUSH" when the author Sapphire (Ramona Lofton) should have wrote CRUNCH. Conspicuous is the absence of anyone telling her to go on a diet, to learn to hate the word "buffet" as much as she hates "bitch." This young lady is so big that her stomach pushes her chin up to her nose. Are we to call films with scenes of an obese black teenager stealing a bucket of fried chicken a work of art because of the cinematography? After seeing it once I conclude the only film footage that young sister Sidibe Gabourey needs to make is strictly on the "Insanity" workout DVDs. The Calling her "beautiful" as I see other actors , commentators and entertainers do, is only going to shorten her life. As the saying goes, she only has one problem but it's a big one.

The scenes focussing on the long-range solution to Precious' issues was replaced by the over-exposure of the cause. Are there real-life young black girls like her? Yes of course, just not enough to justify the wave of black father molesters Hollywood is trying to usher in (I'm almost sorry to beak the news. What are the big Frankenwood studios going to do without their big black rapist? Where's my violin set?). Truth be told Precious' actual producers Sarah Siegel-Magness and her husband, Gary Magness, along with Stephen Speilberg, Roman Polansky, Allen Stewart Konigsberg (Woody Allen) would be doing their audience a favor if they made incest films about... well, Polansky and Allen. And if they want their gratuitous black molester, Morgan-Driving Mrs.Granddaughter-Freeman would probably be dumb enough to do it for free if they'd just ask. What am I saying? This type of gross sexual behavior is still primarily a white community issue. According to a 2000 report by the Department of Health and Human Services; Whites are still 1st in Child Abuse by Race at 51%, Blacks 25%, Hispanic 15%, and Native American at 2%. In the immortal words of Dr. McCoy in "Star Trek VI," "Arrest Yourself."

These major studios are quite comfortable with the green light they get from some big-name blacks, to not only turn some novels into scripts, but take broad license. Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry are largely noted for serving up Precious on a plastic fast-food tray. You would think the weight fluctuating Winfrey would just once shoot a movie about the real enemy; The exclusive Chicago dress shops that won't let her in. Why? Because after 25 years and 1 biillion dollars, they still think she's Precious.

Chris Stevenson is a syndicated columnist, his articles also appear on his blog; the Buffalo Bullet, http://thebuffalobullet.com/ Follow him on twitter and facebook.