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Bill Clinton Waxes Nihilism to Liberal Brooks Institute Posse

Updated on March 12, 2017

Clinton Speech Littered with Philosophical Dreads

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water, or for a lone female intern to go to the supply closet for printer paper, he’s back. Thursday, in his first keynote speech since all but disappearing after his wife’s crushing defeat, former Pres. Bill Clinton delivered an anti-Trump “Eve of Destruction” speech to a Brookings Institute crowd that was dark enough to make lyrics from the classic Barry McGuire ditty sound like a lullaby. While pointing the same bent finger he used to assure Americans there was nothing to that Monica Lewinsky thing - only without mentioning that man, Mr. Trump - Clinton leveled a spectrum of high-minded charges against the current administration that ranged from "racism" to the U.S. being on the “edge of destruction”. The only thing missing was a shred of detail or a stain of evidence. It is unclear how much or by whom Bill Clinton was paid for the speech, but the newly aroused ex-president’s nihilistic hype might have been submitted by any sophomore as the rough draft of a high school essay.


Clinton Trying to Rebuild Lucrative Speech Business

To his credit, Clinton did not use ad hominem personal attacks against Trump as he did against the many women he allegedly abused during his administration, and before, but the target of his speech was clear to the fawning Brookings Institute plebes. Many of his comments were hilariously ironic, even if they weren’t meant to be. “We have to find a way to bring simple, personal decency and trust back to our politics,” said Clinton, after praising former Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat for embracing the Israeli-Palestinian peace process during his administration. Mr. Clinton left out the part about the entire peace process turning into Palestinian target practice for Israeli bound rockets. The Clintons, accustomed to being paid hundreds of thousands of dollars per speech, lost the bulk of their speech income after shuttering the Clinton Foundation’s Global Initiative following Hillary’s failed presidential bid. With their financial and political allure greatly diminished, speech requests by high-rolling overseas clients have dried up. Still, after shaking off Hillary’s stunning loss and realizing the Clinton Foundation will never be the cash-cow it used to be, the Clintons seem to be charting an anti-Trump path back to political relevancy.

Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski
Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski | Source

Bill Clinton Touts Rules for Global Governance

Prior to his impeachment Bill Clinton suggested to investigators they needed to define to him what the “definition of is, is” when questioning him about his alleged sexual relations with Lewinsky. Ironically, his Brookings speech focused more on ‘who is us and who is them’ rather than what is, in and of itself, is.

“The whole history of humankind is basically the definition of who is us and who is them, and the question of whether we should all live under the same set of rules,” Bill Clinton told the institute’s den of politically depressed liberals. Mr.Clinton did not say whether or not his perceived set of rules would include sharia law and brutal dictatorships. Apparently the country's most famous intern supervisor believes Americans must be governed by some undefined combination of tenants - kind of like passing a bill "so that we can see what is in it".

The one form of government Clinton does not accept as legitimate is the U.S. Trump-ian kind (you know, ‘Make America great again’).

“People who claim to want the nation-state are actually trying to have a pan-national movement to institutionalize separatism and division within borders all over the world,” Clinton said, via Politico. “It’s like we’re all having an identity crisis at once—and it is an inevitable consequence of the economic and social changes that have occurred at an increasingly rapid pace.”

Clinton's ironically comic posit certainly sums the speech up. Someone is having an identity crisis, again, and “we’re all” pretty sure who that is.


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    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 13 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Another superb write that ends in hearty laughs! Love it ....Oh poor ole Bill. My only quandary has been who should hang their corrupt head in deeper shame? Bill or Hillary? Tsk tsk, perhaps, at the end of the day they may share equal mountains of dirt, under which one day they can try to bury their plethora of sins~~make that a Huge mountain of dirt & really big shovels.

      Billy boy...I'm sorry Sir, but the photo needs a bit of an air brush. "The eyes tell the condition of your body & soul..." At this point, the rosy circles around your eyes tell of an individual taking massive doses of anti-virals.

      Do not stress over writing any more empty speeches of disingenuous dribble. Perhaps local Nursery schools need a grandfatherly-type to read Fairy Tales to the kiddies. We know you can tell a Fairy Tale like no one else.

      While you spend some of your spare time engaging little people, your beloved wife can write yet another book, explaining step by step Right Wing Conspiracy Tactics. I'll bet Monica will be happy to co-author. Happy Trails Mr. C.