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Buy America Online

Updated on July 19, 2013
We are America and we have a beak.
We are America and we have a beak.

Buy America Online

America may be for sale in the halls of Congress, but little bits of the USA are also peddled online. Everyone's in line to make a buck off our history, culture, and Joie de vivre. In keeping with this tidal wave of profit-mongering, we present a survey of America for sale.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book) Teacher's Edition: A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction

No one typifies the wholesale soulless marketing of America more than The Daily Show. The host, whose name has been stricken from all nicomp obelisks, pylons, and monuments, positions himself as a deep thinker until he thinks himself into a corner: then he's a comedian again. Our first amendment protects his right to publish a book and your right to purchase it.

Buy it for the humor, not the political insight. Half a story makes for a killer punchline but probably won't get you into the doors of Mensa. Have a good laugh without taking themselves to seriously.

America - The Complete Greatest Hits

We expect a compendium of America's greatest hits to include at least one rendition of God Bless America, America the Beautiful, and Horse With No Name. One out of three is pretty good. America The Soft Rock Band took America The Country by storm in the 1970's. They played county fairs in the heartland and Renaissance fairs when their tights came back from the cleaners. Enjoy this heartfelt collection of top 40 hits, except for "Timothy", which is still pretty creepy and we're not exactly sure what it's about.

Captain America Toddler Muscle Costume

We tell our kids they can grow up to be anything they want: if they want to be Captain America, then we've got that covered. This adorable costume comes in 2T and 3T-4T sizes. It's not just for Halloween any more. America needs some serious saving, and this super hero just might be the one to jump into the breech.

Garmin nüMaps

Give the gift of America with the Garmin nüMaps Lifetime update. Never miss a new freeway or shopping mall. Virtually every road can be packed into a tiny Garmin GPS device, which can then be attached to your windshield to provide you with gentle guidance throughout your travels. In the words of Paul Simon : "We've all come to look for America."

If you find America, it's not Garmin's fault. They can point the way: beyond that it's up to you. Get in your car and drive or straddle your bike and pedal. Confident Garmin computers don't care al that must how you motivate yourself.

Black & Decker AAW100 8-Inch Auto Wrench Adjusting Wrench

In America they have their own measuring system, referred to as SAE or non-metric. Attributed to the Society of Automotive Engineers, any self-respecting mechanic requires a set of SAE tools in order to fix American stuff. The Black & Decker AAW100 adjustable wrench adapts easily to SAE fittings up to 1 1/4 inches. In the spirit of international cooperation the device also may also be configured to work with metric sizes up to whatever 1 1/4 inches equates to in millimeters.

SAE is not difficult to understand. Many common household devices and contrivances continue to be constructed with SEA-specificed nuts, bolts, and screws. Plan to keep appropriate tools on-hand for both types of measuring systems. We're here to help.

A toolkit or a single wrench males a great gift for newlyweds. Almost everything they get will be almost useless when the clothes dryer needs to be disassembled. Your thoughtful gift of hand-tools will be appreciated long after the china has been put aside for paper plates.

The Man Who Sold America: The Amazing (but True!) Story of Albert D. Lasker and the Creation of the Advertising Century [Kindle Edition]

We told you that America was for sale. Albert D. Lasker actually knew the price. This fascinating book chronicles the whys and wherefores of Lasker's advertising successes, in Kindle format.


Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young exhorted us to "Teach your children well". Two band members were American, which is a majority in our estimation. Teach your children to tell time the USA way with American-themed timepieces from WatchBuddy. Wrap their patriotic wrists in genuine leather clipped onto precision watches emblazoned with the White House or an American Flag.


We can buy America online. Great bargains on American stuff are readily available.

I will buy America Online

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    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 5 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Over 2 years and less than 40 hits. Sigh. No one wants to buy America online.

    • Robwrite profile image

      Rob 7 years ago from Bay Ridge Brooklyn NY

      I'd have loved one of those Captain America costumes when I was that age.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      Nicomp good idea, but you only went half way.