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Updated on April 11, 2013
Queen Elizabeth forced to smile and wear this hat by Canadian Special Forces Sniper during visit to Toronto
Queen Elizabeth forced to smile and wear this hat by Canadian Special Forces Sniper during visit to Toronto | Source

In 1837, the Canadians declared war on the small island country England. For thirty years the Canadians fought with the British over independence. Finally, in 1867, Britain lost the war and Canada declared victory. The British were forced to remain a colony of Canada and to this day, the Royals are periodically paraded in front of thousands of Canadians who jeer and laugh at the Royals because they must remain a proxy nation to Canada. The British, a harmless tropical island people have never interfered in the lives of others, and just wish to be left to enjoy their quaint, tiny island off the coast of Italy.

I relate this history of Canada, so the reader may understand the beginnings of Canadian imperialism. Today the Canadian people know no bounds and have direct and substantial interests around the globe. They control the copper in the vast mountains of the Serengeti, the coal in Western Asia and of course, dominant the dental floss harvests in Australia. With all their power and control of natural resources, it is impossible for the dependent nations of the world to stand up to blatant Canadian aggression.

Militarily, the Canadians are arguably the most powerful nation in the world, with a vast navy, air force and army. The Canadians manipulate and dominate their poor Southern neighbors and propagate their sick agenda around the world. It is estimated that 90% of the oil coming out of Sweden is directly or indirectly controlled by the Canadian cartels. Further, with their strong hold over the Maple Syrup industry, they are known to be the power behind the power throughout the Middle East.

This brings us to the reason for this article: The Palestinian Question. It is obvious that the Middle East can never come to peace until the Palestinian situation is rectified. Russia, China, the U.S., Israel and other Middle Eastern countries simply do not have the will, power and skill to bring this chapter of world history to a close. The only ones who can do it, are the Canadians.

Recently, the new Prime Minister of Canada, Pierre Trudeau, was asked by the much respected and highly effective U.N. to find a solution to the Palestinian problem. Having taken considerable time to evaluate the situation, and having successfully dealt with the Indigenous Peoples of Northern Ontario, Mr. Trudeau offered up a solution he feels will be readily accepted by all parties.

Quote; “The situation with the Palestinians must be rectified immediately! I stand before you to absolutely guarantee transparency, propriety and the utmost clarity in these trying times. It is obvious to us all that we can no longer sit by passively while our nations fail to come to terms with the reality of the incomprehensible suggestions of the few, when so many lives depend upon action that should and must be taken. However, we must be cautious and prudent and not overreach in our efforts to stabilize the incurable sickness of the evil perpetrated upon our world. We must move cautiously in order to avoid any wrongdoing to those whose motives are clear, kind and compassionate. Yes, it will be expensive, nothing great ever comes without cost. But the world has no choice. We must decide and we must decide now. Not to act; is a greater crime, than to move without taking into consideration the underlining factor that has perplexed politicians, theologians, and military commanders throughout the centuries!

This is the position of the Canadian government and I hope this open and frank discussion has brought clarity to an otherwise clouded and hostile environment of suffering and human degradation. If we can live with these solutions and are prepared to fund the transition, I am sure we can come to a conclusion where all interests have been served in a fair and just way.”

After Mr. Trudeau’s speech, many dignitaries rose to applaud and all agreed that the Palestinian problem had finally been addressed to everyone’s satisfaction. Shortly afterwards, but certainly no sooner than, a committee made up of the most powerful U.N. nations would take up the funding requirements needed to implement this incredible and historic solution. The Canadians may be imperialistic bastards, but they do know how to get things done.

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      dilbert 5 years ago

      you are a self hating jew