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City of Portland's Newest Bridge Is Officially Named The Bunko Kelly Shanghaied Bridge
Once Again Tax Payers Were shanghaied In Portland Oregon By Trimet, The City and The County.
In a splendid concession to Portland History the new pedestrian only trolley suspension bridge from downtown Portland to OMSI was officially named The Bunko Kelly Bridge or the Shanghai Bunko Kelly Bridge or Shanghaied Bunko Kelly Bridge by popular demand. The new 700 billion dollar useless bridge to nowhere was yet another example of tax payers being Shanghaied by an out of control government or at least their money was shanghaied. Joseph Bunko Kelly was a ruthless man in early Portland history who provided sea captains with fresh young men "shanghaied" to staff ships in port by getting them drunk or bopping them in the head before jailing them in the Portland underground tunnels below the city sidewalks. Of Course TRIMET, Portland's rapid transit/ public transit district authority has the same attitude about dealing with the public as Bunko Kelly did and building an unnecessary bridge for just an antiquated trolley replica and for bikes and pedestrians when most major Portland bridges are not earthquake resistant enough to survive a modest quake is an example of corruption and absurdity.
When the public was invited to enter a contest to name the new bridge TRIMET tried to prevent it from being named Bunko Kelly Bridge but the public much preferred that to stupid names like the Abigail Scott Duniway transit bridge, the Cascadia Crossing transit bridge , the Tillicum crossing transit bridge " of the people" or the Wy'east transit bridge. Since when are pedestrians transit? Who cares about Abigail Scott Duniway anyway? She was not a a rouge agency like TRIMET was she? There is already a golf course named Duniway someplace and Cascadia crossing is already a TRIMET Bus stop shopping mall at the airport. Tillicum crossing and bridge of the people come on! The Indians used to call Portland the place of great sorrow and suffering occurred because a colossal land slide came down into the river from where OHSU now killing whole villages. Wy[east was the old Indian name for Mt Hood but the mt hood highway is pretty much up on the powell bridge.
Clearly Bunko Kelly Bridge is what you will be calling the new bridge Because TRIMET is as much of a rogue agency as Neil Goldsmidt was a rogue mayor and governor of the State. We love our criminals and rogues in Oregon. We adore them. The official name of the new bridge regardless of what a sign may eventually say is the Bunko Kelly bridge or if you prefer some variation with the word Shanghai or Shanghaied in it.