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New Rules on Recycling Bags in Dallas

Updated on January 25, 2015

Happy New Year


New Year, New Recycling Rules

So here we are again my dears. A brand new year. Everyone is now feeling horribly broody in the aftermath of excited celebrations and is feeling poorly after excessive food consumption and plenty of inebriated hours arguing over sports and politics .Sadly, life won't stand still long enough to allow you to recover from the extraordinary events that may have taken place during your somewhat ordinary life towards the end of the year. Nope. Time moves on with or without you and in the meanwhile you have to adapt to a new game with the new rules, and with those new rules come the rapid changes in the recycling policies that govern plastic bag usage in every city. For the purpose of this piece, I will focus on the city of Dallas.

Bogus Bags

I've read a few reports so far that claim shoppers aren't too bovvered by this new and greener change to our in store purchasing habits. I myself walked into a grocery store and was highly amused by the lack of 'reusable' and greener options and thereby was forced to 'buy' the only reusable bags that they had which were plastic. Err, really? More plastic to stop using plastic? Well ok then, no probs and apparently "no complaints so far" claimed the check out clerk. "Well just wait for it", I replied with confidence, as I myself work retail and find that people will complain about the most baffling things. ("how can a store run out of complimentary gift boxes at Christmas?!?!?" 'Errrr, because you're not the only one that lives in a city of 2.4 million people and who celebrates Christmas by over consumption of goods.')

I then went to work the next morning to find that all plastic bags had been replaced with reusable paper bags, much like the ones you'd find at certain posh nosh food stores. "Do we charge for them?" I asked. "No, but they're reusable" came the response. I was scratching my head again. I had pictured us all turning into an army of vegan flower children, who now clutched their reusable bags with pride and embarrassingly displayed our shopping habits by handing the check out clerks our reusable and recycled cloth/ plastic bags. I was sorely disappointed.

Happy Hippies

Dazed and Confused

So for the rest of you that are also confused, let me just clarify what's actually going on. The old plastic is out - the old plastic that COULD be recycled but some ignorant people refused to, only to be replaced with NEW plastic that can be reused but also re- bought, but that can also be recycled, but actually won't be by those same people who will now have even more to issues to add to their list of insignificant life complaints because they now have to pay a nickel per bag. Apparently the plastic manufacturers are also complaining, because we are now AWARE that we are paying for said bags, when we were actually paying for them all along through. Ha! Imagine how upset they are that we are now aware that part of the reason our grocery costs are rising is because of them. They are the good guys after all. The ones who make our lives more convenient through plastic, but refuse to educate us regarding which products are biodegradable versus which products Ripley will find in the future when she's encountering Aliens in deep space.

Grumpy Recyclers

But let's not forget the whiners and whiners. The people who will inevitably find something to complain about in the form of a nickel because they are socially unaware of the new city ordinance. These are the same lazy sods who will inevitably be too cheap to spend a nickel at a drug store to buy a bag, and then will invariably run into someone familiar in the parking lot, only to be caught holding some type of ointment to help restore genital health and well being. Ha! Silly bugger. Will this embracing incident actually stop these heathens from refusing to acknowledge that the world we live in is everyone's environment to be responsible for and is on a devastating collision course downwards into the litter filled rubbles of hell? Eff no. After all, their ashes will also pollute the earth when they're gone and that's just fine by them.

So why don't we just begin the green revolution in a more productive way by requiring that all households that refuse to recycle, do at least an hours worth of community service, cleaning up the local river where all their waste has wandered and they laughed at the poor fish that got tangled up in the net that used to hold oranges? If you choose to be ignorant to the devastation your deliberate lack of effort and education creates, why should everyone have to do extra to compensate for your deliberate ignorance?

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Social consciousness and education should be an educational requirement by all, even those of us who choose to care more about the football score than the rising mercury levels in the local rivers. But what happens when one day your local brewery can't make your special craft beer because it's undrinkable? Good luck asking the Russians for some vodka.....


New Rule

Our most current and more obvious state of change is the new ordinance carried out by the city of Dallas that requires retailers to no longer provide their customers with plastic bags, thereby cutting down on the amount of plastic wasted and hopefully helping the environment.


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