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Confessions of a Southern Belle

Updated on January 18, 2012

Inner Honey Chile

The sad thing about feminism is that many women may have lost touch with their inner Southern belle. More women today can do anything to which they set their mind and do it very well. They don't need a man for financial stability. They can change their own tire and handle their own money, thank you very much. Someone who regularly upbraids suitors with a cringing, bitter tone isn't using the time-honored techniques of the Southern Belle. No, they say! It's old fashioned, it won't work with them, or they won't stoop to building up a man's ego. In frank discussions, it's plain as day what is going wrong. They ain't usin' the honey. You must get in touch with your inner honey child, or chile, as we say down here.

Bees Drawn To Honey

Scarlett surrounded by her suitors, beaus, or beaux.  Whatever, doesn't matter.  She owns them!
Scarlett surrounded by her suitors, beaus, or beaux. Whatever, doesn't matter. She owns them!

Scarlett in Action

Use the Honey

Any girl raised in the South is taught to be a Southern belle, no matter what their background. Little girls are fed sayings like," You catch more flies with honey than vinegar." Luke Skywalker may have used the Force; we use the honey to implement the Force! Our prey doesn't really even know what is happening. Some might call it deceptive; I think of it as being nice and polite, but for a good reason, whatever it might be.

You simply find a way to compliment men; your husband who doesn't want to buy you something you really want, the police officer who stopped you for a ticket, or the gatekeeper who is going to make you park too far away from the pool. Men need and deserve to be treated great. While the honey badger might take what he wants, the Southern belle doesn't have to take it. She'll get it with honey, not vinegar. Laughing at his jokes while lightly touching him on the forearm won't hurt either. From there, it's just an itty bitty step to plead to the officer, "Oh, can't you please overlook it this one time, officer? I promise I'll be good from now on." with a flutter of your eyelashes. You want the same playful, but slightly petulant tone Scarlett uses in the barbeque scene. If that doesn't work, command tears to well up from within. Works every time. Caution: Use tears sparingly.

Let Them Take the Lead

In the South, men open doors for ladies. This shouldn't be just a Southern phenomenon (I have noticed it in the friendly Midwest as well). Let the man open the door for you; in fact, stand back and wait. Don't move until he opens that door. Don't say a word. If he doesn't open it, all is not lost. Laugh and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were getting that," in a sweet voice. Next time, he'll catch on and you didn't annihilate his feelings in the process. He might be surprised just how much he likes feeling needed.

Gone With The Wind

"Name Me One Homely Miss Mississippi "from Designing Women

I'll Never Go Without Make Up Again!

The Marquis de Lafayette visited Mobile, Alabama in 1825 and of the women there, he noted the beauty of the women then. Back then, a "painted" woman was a harlot. Things have changed, fortunately, for everyone needs a little help. It's really not that we are better looking; it's that a woman here will always present her best self. However, I will admit the humidity in the air does seem to help the skin. Change your style of dress if needed. Wear flattering clothing that doesn't reveal too much. Take care of yourself. Keep a healthy weight. If you color your hair, stay on top of appointments. A big mane of hair is a beautiful thing. Some Southern belles extend this to the spa, going for weekly mani- pedis. It is better to have unpainted nails than to have chipped nails. Wear makeup because you WILL run into someone you know. It's Murphy's Law. Exercise because this keeps Southern women sane. I know this seems antiquated to some who didn't grow up with this "training" but it works.

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