Death Or Taxes: Which One's Worse?
Riddle Me This
Before we start today's lesson there are 3 words of the day that I need the class to know.
1. Income Tax- a tax levied on the income of individuals or businesses (corporations or other legal entities).
2. Death- a permanent cessation of all vital functions : the end of life
3. Extortion- The practice of obtaining something, usually money, through force or threats.
Now we can begin.
And God Said, Let There Be...
While it seems like accurately proving the exact beginning of our existence is futile, putting our finger on the birth of taxes may be a little easier. Below is an except form an article titled "History of Income Tax In the U.S." by Jennifer Rosenberg. Jennifer is an avid reader and historian with a bachelors degree in History from The University of California.
"The first, known, written record of taxes dates back to ancient Egypt. At that time, taxes were not given in the form of money, but rather as items such as grain, livestock, or oils. Taxes were such an important part of ancient Egyptian life that many of the surviving hieroglyphic tablets are about taxes. Although many of these tablets are records of how much people paid, some describe people complaining about their high taxes."
Hmmm, seems like the more things change the more they stay the same huh? She goes on to talk about how cruel the tax collectors were back then, and she even suggests that there is an ancient hieroglyphic tablet that depicts tax collectors punishing peasants for late payments. Sound familiar? Lets move forward shall we? Forward into a time in History that we should all remember hearing about in grade school...The Boston Tea Party.
Here's the short story. In 1773 a group of pissed off colonists boarded some British ships in Boston harbor and started smashing and dumping the ships cargo into the water. These colonists were acting in frustration due to several high taxes that had been imposed on them by Great Britain over the years. Now, if you fast forward a few years and insert Alexander Hamilton, a revolutionary war, and the birth of the National Debt, you will end up with the biggest scam in our nations history, aside from the privately owned Federal Reserve.
Gather around class, now I'm going to show you a magic trick...
First I'm going to show you Jennifer's factual timeline, depicting the birth of Income taxes in America. Then I'm going to use my x-ray vision to look beyond the words at tell you what they really mean. Again these quotes are from "History of Income Tax in the U.S." by Jennofer Rosenberg.
"Alexander Hamilton, the new U.S. Secretary of the Treasury, needed to find a way to collect money to lower the national debt, created by the American Revolution. In 1791, Hamilton, balancing the need of the federal government to collect money and the sensitivity of the American people, decided to create a "sin tax," a tax placed on an item society feels is a vice."
Okay so, it's after the American revolution a lot of money has been spent on the war and now we have a national debt. This guy comes up with the idea to create a tax on things that could be seen as 'vices' or basically things that were not considered very pure or Godly. Hey no one wanted to argue with the all mighty U.S. Secretary of State about a tax that was opposed on people who were 'sinning.' That was a good thing, right? Yeah tax those sinners!
"The idea of creating an income tax resurfaced during the American Civil War. Again considered a temporary tax to raise money for a war, Congress passed the Revenue Act of 1861 which instituted an income tax. However, there were so many problems with the details of the income tax law that income taxes were not collected until the law was revised the following year in the Tax Act of 1862. In addition to adding taxes on feathers, gunpowder, billiard tables, and leather, the Tax Act of 1862 specified that the income tax would require those that earned up to $10,000 to pay the government three percent of their income while those that made over $10,000 would pay five percent. Also notable was the inclusion of a $600 standard deductible. The income tax law was amended several times over the next few years and eventually fully repealed in 1872."
Now enter GREED.
Okay so, this is when politicians started to notice that American's were really gullible, and although they had initial fears of more revolution they realized that American's were softening up a little, but they didn't know how much. So they approached the citizens just as a bully would approach his prey. First you trip them in front of everyone. Then you rough them up in front of everyone. Then...when you get that invincible feeling that this little weakling isn't going to fight back, you go for the lunch money. Now at first, the little wimpy kid is going to fight back, this is lunch money we're talking about here. At this point you're trying to take food out from this kids mouth, and lets face it...no one likes to starve. I hope you guys get that analogy. Let's move on.
"In the 1890s, the U.S. federal government was beginning to rethink its general taxation plan. Historically, most of its revenue had been from taxing imported and exported goods as well as taxes on the sale of specific products. Realizing that these taxes were increasingly bearing on only a select portion of the population, mostly the less affluent, the U.S. federal government began looking for a more even way to distribute the tax burden. Thinking that a graduated-scale income tax placed upon all citizens of the United States would be a fair way to collect taxes, the federal government attempted to enact a country-wide income tax in 1894. However, because at that time all federal taxes had to be based on state population, the income tax law was found unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1895."
The greedy boys were getting hungry again. They tried to punk the people but the people were smart. Instead of revolting they took the greedy boys to court. That was the new way of the land now. You weren't going to push us around anymore, we had the freaking constitution! The fat boys were starving, even though their bellies were full they were not satisfied, and when a fat boy is hungry he finds his way to get some food. They kept losing but no matter how many times they got knocked down, they kept getting back up. I guess greed is very powerful. I wonder how they beat the people, oh you do know that they win at the end of this story right (spoiler alert)?
"To create a permanent income tax, the Constitution of the United States needed to be changed. In 1913, the 16th Amendment to the Constitution was ratified. This amendment eliminated the need to base federal taxes on state population by stating: "The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration. In October of 1913, the same year the 16th Amendment was ratified, the federal government enacted its first permanent income tax law. Also in 1913, the first Form 1040 was created."
You have to give it to the fat boys, they are good when it comes to this stuff. They knew that the only thing keeping them from getting their greedy little hands on hard working American's money was that pesky constitution. So what did they do? They changed it. Damn them boys are good!
Some say that the 16th Amendment was never ratified, therefore making income taxes illegal. Some people like Sherry Peel Jackson, a former tax agent, claimed to that there is no law that states that you must pay income taxes. Of course she went to jail, duh. She was released in march of this year (2011) and remains on house arrest until August. There is a documentary titled "America Freedom To Fascism" by Aaron Russo, in which Sherry Peel Jackson is famous for her "Show me the law" speech. It's pretty interesting, check it out if you get the chance.
Virigns, unlimited wine, sexy angels feeding you grapes, beds made of clouds, no taxes? These are just some of the things people speak of when they speak of not death but, life after death. Hey, I don't know if any of this stuff is true, and neither do you. I never died before, and if you have and your somehow back to life reading this right now then, I'm kind of scared of the fact that you came back. Back to life. Is it that bad afterwards? Is it worse than working your ass off for mediocre pay then getting a third of it snatched out of your hand before the ink on the check even dries? Hmm, maybe that skinny guy in the black robe is scarier than he looks. I don't know if I want to die if it's going to be worse than it is here in the land of the living. I Still don't know which is worse, do you? Maybe the 3rd word of the day might help us out.
Remember earlier when I was talking about the greedy guys and the fat boys? You probably thought I was talking about the American government didn't you? Well I wasn't, I actually talking about the global elites who own the American government. Let me explain.
The government itself is not fake, it's not a ruse, but it is being manipulated by a few very wealthy and powerful individuals who have for years been using it to extort the American people, just like the mafia extorts people and businesses for money. Think about it.
1. You work from 9-5 from Monday to Friday and when pay day comes a good portion (more than you would like or can afford) has been snatched out of your hand. What just happened? Your paying for protection. If your late on your payment or come up short then Bruno (The Bosses muscle) will understand, he's a hospitable guy. He will give you some time to pay it off, but now you have to pay extra for not having the bosses money on time.
2. If you try to get cute and refuse to pay, then Bruno comes to your house, he beats you up a little and then ransacks the house trying to find out where the money is. After you wake up from the knuckle sandwich induced nap you were just forced to take, you realize that not only did Bruno take what you owed him but he took extra, just because he had to come get it from you. And he lets you know that he'll be watching you closely from now on.
3. Oh this is when it gets ugly. Let's say you come up with the bright idea to just leave town and say, "to hell with Bruno and his boss!" You get settled in another city, in another house, and you forget all about those big bullies from your past, there all history now. You find out a way to make sure that your money is hidden now, where no one can find it. Life is good...until one day you get a knock on the door. Before you can open the door all the way here come Bruno's size 13 boot kicking the door right into your face. This time there's no naps. He makes sure your awake while he beats the crap out of you in front of the wife and kids. But it doesn't stop there. Bruno makes you show him where the money is, then instead of letting you go, he brings you back with him so the boss can torture you for 1-3years. More or less depending on how much money you owed.
But that's not it. While your locked away being tortured the boss wants your wife to start shelling out cash, and if she doesn't have any they take the house...they take the cars...they take the big screen TV that you bought last April when Bruno's boss gave you some of your OWN money back (tax refund). Before you know it your looking at the wall one night in your torture chamber wondering two things:
1. You're wondering if death would be better than the situation your currently in and will be in, in the future.
2. Your wondering if you should have just paid Bruno when you were supposed to.
A Riddle, Wrapped In a Mystery, Inside an Enigma
So there you have it, today's lesson was brought to you by the letter O, as in OMFG!
I still don't know which one is worse at this point. I mean it would really suck if I died and there was nothing left after that but at least I'd be free from having to pay taxes. But on the other hand it really is frustrating to work to the point where every bone and muscle in your body is hurting and then have to give a good portion of your pay to God knows who for God knows what. But at least you have the chance to get rich and become part of the elite, the powerful fat boys who make more money but pay less taxes. Hell some of them don't even have to pay taxes at all (google GE doesn't have to pay taxes, or click the link at the bottom).
I guess at the end of the day it doesn't matter which one is better. As the saying goes, "the only things that are certain in this world are death and taxes." So I guess until the day you meet your maker, you will be paying the pied piper. But it's not that bad if you think about it. Sometimes we get some of OUR money back, yay! And most of the time its enough to buy a new big screen TV, and watching a big screen TV makes all your worries float away, ahhh. Ironically if this hub ends up being an internet sensation and I somehow make thousands of dollars from this article, guess what? Don't worry, I already made sure Bruno knows exactly how much I make on this site. Sometimes it just makes sense to pay the bully.
"Did you ever notice that when you put the words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS?" ~Author Unknown
Rosenberg, Jennifer."History of Income Tax in the U.S." About.com. Web. 21 June 2011
Heeeeeeeere's Sammy: United States Taxes
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax , Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Hunting License Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Marriage License Tax
Propert y Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Recreational Vehicle Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax upon Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax