Debunking Nine Myths of Booze
Let's start with
the accepted, educated definition of the noun and verb, "booze" (pronounced "booo'zze"); to drink alcohol; consume alcoholic beverages and an "unmannered drinking session." Booze is a serious thing, yes? (Bet you didn't know that I could speak French, did you?)
But my feeble French accent notwithstanding, booze, as I shall call it, is no joke. It's fun, I admit that, in the beginning. There is something that draws a person as if by magic, to the can or bottle of "liquid magic" that has been the subject of glib and sad songs,("The Bottle Let Me Down," Merle Haggard); Broadway productions, films like "Days of Wine and Roses" (Jack Lemmon and Lee Remmick) and all the while the huge alcohol corporations--Anheuser-Busch; Jack Daniels Corp., George Dickel and many more with their "feel good" print and television ads, are raking in billions in profits.
And along with the accepted presence of booze in our society, we have somehow learned how to deceive ourselves into believing the many myths that accompany booze and it's consumption. Example: "Booze keeps one warm while out in the woods on a hunting trip." False! Doctors everywhere agree that if anything, booze speeds up the exiting of heat from our bodies through the tops of our heads and booze does not help the body to keep warm.
I was one of the many with wool pulled over my eyes who went out in the winter time (on purpose) to just have a believable excuse to "down a few" shots of whiskey or a few beers while sitting on my behind near a tree. I wasn't hunting game per se, just an excuse to booze it up a little.
I am not here as
a doomsday prophet or nay sayer in light of my subject: Booze. I am here for personal reasons. I am here to "Debunk The Nine Myths of Booze."
I know that by now you have finished reading my hub and hopefully you are not thinking that I am some kind of a "holier than thou" man. No, I am not.
In fact, I am not the least bit ashamed to admit to you that I am in no way better than the person who sadly has to have that next drink or the most handsome man and prettiest lady with a Scotch and water in their hand at some swanky cocktail affair on New York's Fifth Avenue.
I do give Our God all of the thanks and credit for His "patience and long-suffering" with me not only in my years of boozing and the years after with temptations coming left and right.
I simply learned one thing: How to be brutally "honest" and not as religious, when talking to God.
The photos on this hub will be proof
that abusing alcohol will cause a person's personality and judgement to be altered sometimes in an ugly, abusive manner.
I know this from personal experience. There again, I am not a judge or "holier than thou."
This video presents alcohol abuse in a comical way which to me, is far from sensible.
9.) Booze will make one popular:
Poular? In what way? When one "boozes," one seriously drinks lots and lots of alcohol at wild parties on Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve and July Fourth. Hey, it's the rage of the "in crowd" to dance, sing, laugh and forget tomorrow. Well if that be true, then tell me why I, and millions of other poor fools who believed this myth had to give a recount of what we said and whom we said it to the night before and issue apologies to friends and family who laughed at us while we were in the throws of a "booze binge."
8.) Booze relaxes me:
yes, this is very true. A moderate amount of booze will relax a body. But with the taste and affect of booze comes the alluring idea to "relax," comes that gentle, soothing euphoric mood lift derived from the moderate drinks you have already tasted. But then with more "moderate" drinks to relax you, comes that roaring of the spirit to suddenly feel as if you are invincible and unstoppable and I will not elaborate of the things that people do who are "too relaxed."
7.) Booze will make me popular:
with whom? Oh, you must be talking about the owners of the nearby package stores who are soon to be your "buddies with a bottle" ready to serve you no matter when you frequent their establishments. Popular is a relative term here. You can be just as popular with the power of your own personality without those shots of "liquid confidence." And the "popular" most boozers enjoy is the "one who is the life of any party" for how he is willing to wear a woman's panties on his head and dance on the dining room table without pants. That brand of popularity only tears down one's self-worth.
6.) Booze or you will not be successful:
I heard this one time before a meeting with an important advertiser. Yes, the advertiser drank and drank and I was amazed at how his speech never slurred or his walk never stumbled. This "example" of boozer was one of the reasons "I" started boozing in 1979. I learned in later years that "this" "super boozer" (whom I once admired) had died from alcoholism. Case closed.
5.) Booze will help food taste better:
what? In what way? Many home economists and food experts will agree with this is just a strong delusion brought on by self-deception. Two people sit down to eat bowls of chili. One person has a cold beer to drink with his chili while the other person has iced tea. You guessed it. The person with iced tea not only tasted, but enjoyed their chili and iced tea and the person with cold beer to drink with his chili only said that he beer was good.
4.) Booze will give me the confidence I need:
and again, I ask, in what area? Do not be so stupid as to answer me with "Driving home after a tough day at work." Are you going to play the role of a fool in today's highly-educated-about-alcohol society? Booze does not give one confidence. What you feel is that deception caused from the alcohol numbing your judgement and inhibitions. And to drive a car, truck, or bicycle after consuming large amounts of booze at your nearby bar is like I said, stupid.
3.) Everyone who is anyone drinks:
Okay. Look closely at the crowd whom is driving you to drink in order to be "in with them." See the guy wearing a fake smile? He has been holding that one drink since he arrived at this party. And the pretty girl talking to him has not freshened-up her martini either. How many "doubles" have you drank? Lost count, huh? Pretty soon you will be with the "in crowd" alright. You will always be invited to these shindigs strictly for comic relief--for the bored "in crowd" to have someone to laugh at.
2.) Booze is not a problem for me:
maybe not. But are you aware of how much you drink? Statistics show that if a person drinks more and more on a daily basis for a year or so, it is tougher for them to quit. Are you going to be brave enough one day when your little son or daughter asks you, "Daddy, why do you go to sleep in our living room floor every night?" to answer them honestly? Think about it.
1.) "I" just wanted to see how it felt to drink:
I used this myth (among many) to start my 11-year boozing career. More times than I care to admit I woke the next day, thank God, with a hurting head and rolling stomach, red eyes, no appetite, shaking hands and that is the good things. It was not too long until I was taking more out of my weekly paycheck to supply me with booze to satisfy my cravings to "feel good." I drank so much and so hard that even with the fore knowledge of how rough a hang-over felt, this did not deter me. It was not until I had to face the ugly truth about my boozing. I was headed for alcoholism. But with the grace of Almighty God and my personal determination to get off of this stuff, did I find relief in October 1989.
Again, thank God.
Thank you for letting me share this dark area of my life that is not part of my life anymore.
Good night, Gulfport, Mississippi.
© 2017 Kenneth Avery