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Democrat Economics; how it works

Updated on April 29, 2010


Following her November defeat Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi decides to open a bar in San Francisco. Given the fact the country is just beginning to recover from the past two years of economic destruction caused by her party she realizes that virtually all of her potential customers are now unemployed alcoholics and, as such, cannot afford to patronize her bar. So pulling out her Keynesian Economics 101 text book; the same one used by President Hussein Obama in his attempt to solve the country’s economic problems, she develops her marketing strategy. She plans to allow her customers to drink now, but pay later.

Thus, she grants the customers loans in the form of drinks; carefully logging each in a ledger alongside the customer’s name. As you would guess the word that Pelosi is offering free drinks spreads fast. All of her former constituents, who are used to something for nothing flock to her bar and soon the bar tabs begin to mount. In no time she has the largest sales volume for any bar in San Francisco!

Since Madam Pelosi’s customers aren’t actually paying for the drinks but are merely amassing huge debts she gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages. As Pelosi’s gross sales volume increases massively, former Fannie Mae CEO William Raines recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and works with the local bank to increase her borrowing limit. He convinces the local bank executives that there’s no reason for any undue concern, since she has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral.

Raines then turns to his pals, Senator Chris Dodd along with House Financial Services Chairman Barney Frank to pressure Wall Street Executives to transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS. Dodd and Frank convince the Wall Street Executives that they can bundle these securities and trade them on international security markets.

Just as was the case with the housing market collapse, naive investors again don’t really understand that the securities being sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb, and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.

Since the defeat of Pelosi, Reid and eventually Obama, the country has gotten increasingly tough on foreign dictatorships, one of which is China who owns most of the debt ran up under the Obama Regime. Even though the bond prices are still climbing, China decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Pelosi’s Place.

Pelosi in turn demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but having had their lives ruined under the Obama Regime and now being nothing more than unemployed alcoholics they cannot pay back their drinking debts. Thus, Pelosi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and she is forced into bankruptcy resulting in the bar closing and eleven employees losing their jobs.

These days you can find Pelosi’s former patrons hanging out at the local Acorn Office!






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    • SheriSapp profile image

      SheriSapp 8 years ago from West Virginia

      You are TOO witty. Still love what you have to say and await more pearls of wisdom

    • profile image

      partisan patriot 8 years ago

      Thanks Sheri

      There is definitely a ring of truth; word now has it Obama plans on financing part of his health care proposal by floating Alki Bonds and Puke Bonds. The Puke Bonds are especially attractive since that is the reflex it invokes in most Americans every time they hear his plan!

    • SheriSapp profile image

      SheriSapp 8 years ago from West Virginia

      Highly enjoyable hub. It would have been even funnier if ther weren't such a ring of truth to what you said here. As someone above said, liberalism works great until you run out of other people's money.

    • profile image

      partisan patriot 8 years ago


      In a sense it did; it's a pared down Satirical depiction of the actual housing crisis caused by Barney Fwank (still hunting wabbits) Chris Dodd and the Democrats but was blamed on Bush!

    • sheila b. profile image

      sheila b. 8 years ago

      Well, this fantasy won't happen, but we might at least see Pelosi lose her seat as Speaker.

    • greatAmerican profile image

      greatAmerican 8 years ago


      Did you forget..

      Pelosi Place would get bailed out and the Government could take it over.. then not only would those poor souls get booze, they might even get a couple hot dogs.

      In return the politicians would keep getting re-elected.

      It's the 'American Dream'!

    • MagicStarER profile image

      MagicStarER 8 years ago from Western Kentucky

      "You know nicomp we’ve come full circle and almost agree on something". Incredible! Good imagination here! I almost got excited when I thought Pelosi was gone... "Pukebonds" LOL! Ain't that the truth!

    • profile image

      partisan patriot 8 years ago

      Thanks Jiberish

      Hussein Obama is Saul Alinsky reincarnate!

    • jiberish profile image

      jiberish 8 years ago from florida

      You must have read the Alinsky economics that Obama adheres to. Good Hub!

    • profile image

      partisan patriot 8 years ago

      Thanks Tom

      I guess my college economics classes 40 plus years ago finally did me some good!

    • profile image

      partisan patriot 8 years ago

      Thanks Pop

      I wonder if only Democrats work for Geico?

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 8 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      Adequate discription of a Keysenian. It's all about the taxing and spending. Money is irrelavant!!!!!!!!!!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 8 years ago

      Fantastic hub, Patriot. You wrote this so clearly that even a caveman can understand it!

    • profile image

      partisan patriot 8 years ago


      It takes imagination to keep up with this freak show; Barney FWank (still hunting Wabbits) and Chris Dodd got us in this mess with the Housing Market collaspe yet most Americans with an IQ of a Wabbit still want to blame Bush.

      If he had only not blown up those levies!

    • profile image

      partisan patriot 8 years ago

      Thanks eovery

      Like they always say; Liberalism works well, until you run out of other people's money!

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 8 years ago from United States

      You really used your imagination on this hub to explain today's policies. Keep on hubbing!

    • eovery profile image

      eovery 8 years ago from MIddle of the Boondocks of Iowa

      Yeah, this sounds about what they are doing.

      Keep on hubbing!

    • profile image

      partisan patriot 8 years ago

      You know nicomp we’ve come full circle and almost agree on something. Bush was certainly no physical conservative but you gotta agree he can’t hold a candle to Obama when it comes to spending.

      As far as the checks and balances you referred to, Democrats believe the checks and balances in our constitution refer to writing checks and printing enough additional currency to balance the budget!

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Now now, let's be fair. The Republicans in Congress were happy to run up massive deficits when Bush was in office. Boehner and his cronies endorsed their own brand of irresponsible budgeting long before Obama was anointed by the mainstream media.

      Keep in mind that the Federal budget is concocted by the office of the President and approved by the Congress. Remember the checks and balances devised by our Founding Fathers?