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Do Better -A Tribute to Black History Month

Updated on March 1, 2015

What do the statistics reveal about the African American race?

Federal Reserve Data Revealed: White people have $13 dollars for every dollar held by African Americans.

President Barack Obama cited education as the most important issue for the black community.

The National Association of Black Accountants projected the African-American population to have a projected buying power of $1.1 trillion by the year 2015.

New HIV infections 8 times larger in the African American community than among white people.

U.S. Department of Labor revealed a rise in the number for single parent homes, growing from 20% at one time to 70% today.

The rise in negative imagery in the media with popular reality shows such as Love and Hip Hop (LA,NY,Atlanta), Housewives of Atlanta, Basketball wives and videos played repetitively on BET featuring artists regarding women as sexual objects and glorifying criminal behavior is a problem. Providing the example that gold-digging, selling your soul for money, and attempting to have "paycheck" babies is how a woman can live a glamorous life full of purses and designer dresses.

I'm saying all this to say while black history month has passed and there have been many celebrations for those who have further the cause of equality and justice- many African Americans are moving in the wrong direction. How many times must the message be taught young ladies, that you are MORE than your bodies? How many times are material purchases that mean nothing, valued in the people? Safe sex and birth control can be used especially when you are in no position to financially support yourself let alone another person and to reduce the spread of HIV in the community. Women need to stop thinking the Pretty Woman effect is real. Most women don't go from prostitute/stripper pole to become Barbie to Ken. Believing someone will rescue you from having to achieve their own success and address the lack of fatherhood issues so they do not settle for risking their health for temporary company never leading to marriage and the family they REALLY desire. As Spike Lee would say: Wake Up.

Black men need to understand looks and sexual behavior does not define your manhood. Intelligence, purpose, providing, and furthering the accomplishments of your race should be in your DNA, not rap songs and swag. Until you take your place the race will continue to perish. African-American men that practice smart partnership, searching for intelligent women respectful of themselves, loyal, kind to others w/morals are best served coupling with suitable mates. A woman on a stripper pole or gold-digger spending every dollars she makes on purses and shoes while mismanaging her money is not a suitable mate-regardless of looks or sexual activity. Read books such as:

  1. Manology - Rev Run and Tyrese Gibson
  2. How To Get Out Of Your Own Way -Tyrese Gibson
  3. Letters to a Young Brother - Hill Harper
  4. Think and Grow Rich
  5. The Millionaire Next Door

Books like these will reshape your thinking and help you prioritize your life and make wise financial decisions. A suitable mate knows how to save for a rainy day (the unexpected) and to live below your means to achieve wealth. Read motivational books that inspire you to realize you can achieve and begin to speak positively and remove negativity and negative people from your life. “Can't/Won't/That won't work because...etc” needs to be removed from your vocabulary. Remove anyone in your inner circle that embraces negativity and failure as a reality. Although life is difficult losers have a passion for losing. We all fail but you get up and try once again, applying what you have learned.

When you watch TV. Gather the family around together once a week to watch public broadcasting stations that teach you about important historical moments. There are series on these stations and the history channel that increase your knowledge, inspire conversation, and provides you with knowledge about your history. Lest you never forget and may you never hurt your own knowing what you have experienced over hundreds of decades. Have a conversation to guide your child’s thinking and determine how they think.

For those ages 45 and below. What happened to your faith/spirituality? Our ancestors believed in spirits and The Creator and now we are so evolved we don't need to go to church, listen to motivational people, and/or practice one's faith. The ocean pulls you into itself and devours you when you loose sight of drifting away from the shore. Think about drifting away from moral principals and examine the results of living based on 'the book of me.”

Do you think the Ancestors would be proud of the state of African Americans today

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Parents Parent

If you have a child set an example of the positive influence they should be in this world. Do the right thing, don't lie, don't steal, don't cheat, respect women, respect men, potty mouth needs to come to a stop. Give love and encouragement with the same importance you place on discipline. For God's sake, stop yelling and hollering at your children. Show that people are reliable by making your word your bond. Teach little girls to be intelligent (not just cute) and channel any aggressive behavior into sports. Pay attention to their development and help them with areas that are difficult for them to comprehend. Expose children to free events in the city teaching science and math. Attend events to teach you about different cultures, foods, and traditions to show them that different is not threatening to their existence.

Stop dropping your children off with everyone and women (especially) stop letting any man into your household. You don't know their history or behavior and it's your responsibility to put the safety of your children above your own needs to have a relationship. You don't want your child left with someone who is extremely abuse or mistreats your children. Pay attention to how they act after coming from "Sam's" house. Discuss what is inappropriate touching and encourage them to share anything with you without fear so they know you treasure them.

If you failed to reach your goals in life or live in poverty, there is nothing wrong with sitting at the table with your child and both of you are doing homework. By showing this desire to learn to your child they will realize with hard work you can make changes to better your life-independently of anyone else.

Heal your hurt. African-American's have an issue getting help. Not only is racism a huge barrier to achievement and everyday, crabs in a barrow mentality, colorism issues amongst ourselves, many African Americans do not address issues of confusion and trauma with a therapist. Therapy is offered through health insurance and your employee assistance program (eap) and is confidential. Things that are not discussed: abuse, rape, molestation, abortion, light/dark complexes, father issues, mother issues, domestic violence, and the effects of being institutionalized. Major issues are often swept under the rug while drug use, alcoholism, anger management, violence, and promiscuous behavior increases. Let's stop burying the hurt under makeup and swag and deal with the issues you must address in order to become a better person. When you heal and love yourself you tend to choose healthier relationships and friendships. You do not allow people to use or devalue your importance in your life in an attempt to “chase” someone's love because you know you are deserving and worthy of love/affection. When you heal yourself you believe that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Despite adversity you believe with hard work, preparation, and determination the world is yours.

The 3 Truths that should guide your life:

God / Spirituality / Values / Morals

Live and Conduct yourself w/respect to your Ancestors (welfare/wic is not achievement)

Make a positive impact in the world based on your passion(s), gift(s), and/or what you have overcome. The world may have a negative view of your culture but you need not fill the stereotypes that disrespect the Ancestors. Take advantage of the avenues that they could not explore for your benefit and the benefit of others.


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