Do You Consider Yourself A Victim?

A video was recently released where Mitt Romney is overhead saying 47% of Americans consider themselves victims. But let’s be honest. Do you consider yourself a victim?

Although Romney’s comments were mostly referring to dependence on government, there many other ways of becoming a victim. Perhaps you have been a victim of physical or emotional abuse, unfair circumstances, bad relationships, illnesses, harassment, family issues, or the loss of someone important to you. Or maybe you were a victim of your own vices, perhaps becoming a drug addict or an alcoholic.

So let’s get to the point. Becoming a victim is not your fault and lots of things happen to that are out of your control. Staying one is. Stop letting your past define you. Stop telling yourself that life just isn’t fair and there is nothing you can do about it. Being a terminal victim is no way to go through life.

Resist the temptation to stay the victim. And it can be a real temptation. Sometimes we just become comfortable in that role. The suffering that we experience seems easier because we are used to it. And change is hard. Sometimes we just like always having an excuse. We like that we never really feel like we have to take personal responsibility for ourselves. We always have something to blame. And sometimes that can make us feel better about ourselves.

Or maybe we chose to be the victim to try to overshadow some kind of guilt we feel deep inside of our heart. Whether we’ve hurt other people and there is a part of us that believes that by letting other people hurt us just as bad, perhaps even worse, we are evening out the score. It’s like a penance. Maybe we even seek out people or situations where we know that we are going to be mistreated. I’ve been in the situation before. And it took me a long time before I even realized and admitted that this is what I was doing and a while after that to stop doing it.

So I want you to look at yourself and admit if you’ve been playing the victim. And I’m not trying to make you feel bad because I think we all fall into this trap sometimes. And although feeling sorry for yourself is extremely self-destructive, honestly there are worst things you can be.

For example, you could be an enabler of a system that exploits the weak, that thrives on making people think that they are superior, that wants to categorize people as being “good enough” or “not good enough.” And as long as they are making you think that it is in their power to help or hurt you, they can keep you right where you are. They win. Because they are putting you in a situation where all you are supposed to do is wait. But you don’t have to wait for them to help you. You can help yourself.

Here’s something that maybe no one has said to your face. Whatever happened to you, abuse, illness, bullying, whatever, is not a big deal. Maybe that outrages you. “Of course it’s a big deal!” you say. It caused me years of pain, trying to get over it, it changed my life. And you’re probably right. But it’s time to move on. Chances are no matter what you’ve gone through someone else has gone through something harder and came out stronger because of it.

So are your ready to stop being the victim?

I’m going to give you three things to do to stop being a victim.

1) Put this quote somewhere you can see it often. “You can get bitter or you can get better the amount of work is the same.” Repeat it to yourself constantly.

2) Do not focus on what you have lost. Focus on what you have left.

3) Read biographies of great artists. They will teach you how to turn pain and suffering and bad things that happen to you into something good.