- Politics and Social Issues»
- Politics & Political Science
"Facts" You Should Believe About Gun Control
1. Promoting a ban on assault weapons means you want to ban all guns. As we all know, assault weapons are necessary in case a ninja hit squad comes after you or men in hoodies try to loiter in your neighborhood.
2. It is clear that Obama wants to ban all guns in his second term because he talked about bringing back the assault weapons ban, and as I just proved, banning assault weapons means you want to ban all guns, forever.
3. Any gun law is a bad gun law. That’s a fact, Jack. We shouldn’t even let the government regulate the production of guns. If a gun or two blows up in the faces of gun users because of faulty manufacturing and lack of safety inspections at a production plant, that’s the price of freedom. Regulating production of guns would lead to a gun ban. Even talking about guns can lead to a gun ban. So let’s stop all discourse before it’s too late.
4. Obama is preventing apocalypse preparedness by supporting a one gun per month purchase limit. That would also make it harder to arm our militias. What’s next after Obama uses his executive power to limit gun purchases to once a month, a limit of one bullet per month? After that, would we have a limit of one bullet a year? We’re on a slippery slope folks, and everything is slipping toward a U.N. takeover or our water supply.
5. Owning a gun makes it possible to defend against the power of the state because we are stronger than the collective power of the military and thus we should prepare with weapons. Remember, having a cache of guns to defend oneself worked well during the Civil War, for the Branch Davidians and Native Americans at Wounded Knee.
6. The more bullets you have in your gun, the better chance you have surviving your assault on people. The more bullets you can load into your gun, the more correct you are in your judgement as you shoot others. More bullets means your argument is the best. You might not need 30 bullets to stop a single home intruder, but if a terminator enters your house, you’ll want as many bullets as you can have.
7. A ban on certain types of guns, cartridges or bullets means “gutting” the Second Amendment. "Don't doubt for a minute that, if they thought they could get away with it, they would ban guns and ban ammunition and gut the Second Amendment," said Palin, a lifelong NRA member who once had a baby shower at a local gun range in Alaska. "It's the job of all of us at the NRA and its allies to stop them in their tracks." If Palin says it, it has to be true. Saying it makes it reality.
8. Talking about guns and regulation is the same as promoting a complete ban on guns. So shut up already, will ya?
9. Regulating guns and trying to reduce gun violence might not work so we should give up trying just like we should stop trying to end poverty and hunger because no matter what we do, people will always be poor and hungry.
10. Gun regulations cause gun violence though there is no statistical proof. You see, if there is a city that passes a gun regulation and gun violence goes up, that’s all the causality we need. There are no other factors that can lead to gun violence such as buying guns in other states and bringing them across state lines or buying them illegal, and so forth.
11. Background checks don’t work because where there are background checks there is often no reduction in gun violence. So what if we can’t determine what bad intentioned impulse buying will be stopped with background checks. So what if we confuse correlation with causation.
12. The more guns you have the safer the world is. Just ask people in Mexico, Colombia, Rwanda, Somalia, Nicaragua, and other places where there have been lots of guns during times of violence. Guns had NOTHING to do with the gun deaths! Actually, let’s ignore those places and focus on the places where people safely use guns. Cause as we believe, more guns ALWAYS means you’re safer.
13. The Second Amendment to the Constitution is the most important Amendment. Guns are more important than free speech, judicial rights, protections against torture, warrants and every other right enumerated in the Bill of Rights. Guns should be number one on the things we protect, because they will solve all our problems. Gun rights are the only rights that protect all the other rights.
If you’re accused of a crime, you can shoot your way to a fair trial. Moreover, if someone tries to enter your house without a warrant, you can shoot them. A free press is nothing without a blazing assault weapon while a gun is the only free speech I need. And as we know, states rights were protected by guns during the Civil War.
14. The right to own a gun is more important than a person’s right to be safe in their person. Safety of others is overrated compared to my ability to shoot and kill people. My right to kill others is more important than their right to live.
15. Guns aren’t the danger, it’s paranoid people that believe 1-14 that are the real danger to those that believe in the right to own a gun but don’t believe that guns are the answer to all our conflicts.
Watch out for Obama’s conspiracy to NOT ban guns!