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"Facts" You Should Believe About Gun Control

Updated on March 19, 2014
Don't Mess with Tex
Don't Mess with Tex

1. Promoting a ban on assault weapons means you want to ban all guns. As we all know, assault weapons are necessary in case a ninja hit squad comes after you or men in hoodies try to loiter in your neighborhood.

2. It is clear that Obama wants to ban all guns in his second term because he talked about bringing back the assault weapons ban, and as I just proved, banning assault weapons means you want to ban all guns, forever.

3. Any gun law is a bad gun law. That’s a fact, Jack. We shouldn’t even let the government regulate the production of guns. If a gun or two blows up in the faces of gun users because of faulty manufacturing and lack of safety inspections at a production plant, that’s the price of freedom. Regulating production of guns would lead to a gun ban. Even talking about guns can lead to a gun ban. So let’s stop all discourse before it’s too late.

4. Obama is preventing apocalypse preparedness by supporting a one gun per month purchase limit. That would also make it harder to arm our militias. What’s next after Obama uses his executive power to limit gun purchases to once a month, a limit of one bullet per month? After that, would we have a limit of one bullet a year? We’re on a slippery slope folks, and everything is slipping toward a U.N. takeover or our water supply.

5. Owning a gun makes it possible to defend against the power of the state because we are stronger than the collective power of the military and thus we should prepare with weapons. Remember, having a cache of guns to defend oneself worked well during the Civil War, for the Branch Davidians and Native Americans at Wounded Knee.

6. The more bullets you have in your gun, the better chance you have surviving your assault on people. The more bullets you can load into your gun, the more correct you are in your judgement as you shoot others. More bullets means your argument is the best. You might not need 30 bullets to stop a single home intruder, but if a terminator enters your house, you’ll want as many bullets as you can have.

7. A ban on certain types of guns, cartridges or bullets means “gutting” the Second Amendment. "Don't doubt for a minute that, if they thought they could get away with it, they would ban guns and ban ammunition and gut the Second Amendment," said Palin, a lifelong NRA member who once had a baby shower at a local gun range in Alaska. "It's the job of all of us at the NRA and its allies to stop them in their tracks." If Palin says it, it has to be true. Saying it makes it reality.

8. Talking about guns and regulation is the same as promoting a complete ban on guns. So shut up already, will ya?

9. Regulating guns and trying to reduce gun violence might not work so we should give up trying just like we should stop trying to end poverty and hunger because no matter what we do, people will always be poor and hungry.

10. Gun regulations cause gun violence though there is no statistical proof. You see, if there is a city that passes a gun regulation and gun violence goes up, that’s all the causality we need. There are no other factors that can lead to gun violence such as buying guns in other states and bringing them across state lines or buying them illegal, and so forth.

11. Background checks don’t work because where there are background checks there is often no reduction in gun violence. So what if we can’t determine what bad intentioned impulse buying will be stopped with background checks. So what if we confuse correlation with causation.

12. The more guns you have the safer the world is. Just ask people in Mexico, Colombia, Rwanda, Somalia, Nicaragua, and other places where there have been lots of guns during times of violence. Guns had NOTHING to do with the gun deaths! Actually, let’s ignore those places and focus on the places where people safely use guns. Cause as we believe, more guns ALWAYS means you’re safer.

13. The Second Amendment to the Constitution is the most important Amendment. Guns are more important than free speech, judicial rights, protections against torture, warrants and every other right enumerated in the Bill of Rights. Guns should be number one on the things we protect, because they will solve all our problems. Gun rights are the only rights that protect all the other rights.

If you’re accused of a crime, you can shoot your way to a fair trial. Moreover, if someone tries to enter your house without a warrant, you can shoot them. A free press is nothing without a blazing assault weapon while a gun is the only free speech I need. And as we know, states rights were protected by guns during the Civil War.

14. The right to own a gun is more important than a person’s right to be safe in their person. Safety of others is overrated compared to my ability to shoot and kill people. My right to kill others is more important than their right to live.

15. Guns aren’t the danger, it’s paranoid people that believe 1-14 that are the real danger to those that believe in the right to own a gun but don’t believe that guns are the answer to all our conflicts.

Watch out for Obama’s conspiracy to NOT ban guns!

Peace,
Tex Shelters

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    • texshelters profile image
      Author

      texshelters 5 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      By the way, the humorous, or satirical pieces are in the category of "political humor", the "serious" pieces are in the category of "politics" only.

      PTxS

    • texshelters profile image
      Author

      texshelters 5 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      I have written blogs in a few places. I guess I missed my condensation, but I reply similarly to men, so it's not a gender issue.

      And when I said, "read to the end of the hub..." or what not, I wasn't referring to you, but everyone, including me.

      Be well.

      Peace,

      Tex Shelters

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Tex......Apparently you have written "elsewhere" for some time? I am strictly with hubpages, aside from the work I do from home.

      If you are referring to your followers on HP......I have been one of your LONG time readers. All 2 long months.

      It was a bit of a stretch for me to realize that ALL of your hubs, drip with sarcasm. I see now, that they do, regardless of your topic. If I read you in the future, I will be prepared from the start.

      Right about then, you will write a very serious hub with zero sarcasm.....but of course, I won't take a word of it seriously.

      I admitted to you that I am not up-to-date on the gun control issue. For this reason, I choose articles for their informative value. I'll contact Sarah Palin for a sensible education on this subject. She can probably explain this "edge of sanity," for me, don't you think?

      Well, HECK, tex.....this reader does read entire articles. I'd say this is how I came to the central gist of your writing.

      I sincerely apologize for having interest in your hubs and being counted as one of your 24 followers. Your thrashing of me for my comment, has put me right in my place. Hopefully you are not this condecsending with all women in general.......You may run into one, who, unlike me, knows how to use a gun.

      As a mother of 4 sons, I'm sure that your Mom is very proud......and your Dad, possibly even prouder.....They should be.

      Thank you for having the patience to humor me. I've had so much fun.

      I wish you much success here and I do hope your long time followers will join you here on HP. Bless you......Peace.

    • texshelters profile image
      Author

      texshelters 5 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      Thanks Joe. While it is risky, I found, as you pointed out, moderate and sane arguments to be wasted on the gun fetishists.

      PTxS

    • texshelters profile image
      Author

      texshelters 5 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      My first line is about the ninjas. That is the first clue among many that I am using sarcasm here.

      My long time readers know I am not serious, that I am joking, and heck, people need to read whole pieces to get the point anyway.

      Wasn't this a clue: "as I just proved, banning assault weapons means you want to ban all guns, forever." or this: "If a gun or two blows up in the faces of gun users because of faulty manufacturing and lack of safety inspections at a production plant, that’s the price of freedom. Regulating production of guns would lead to a gun ban. Even talking about guns can lead to a gun ban. So let’s stop all discourse before it’s too late."

      Etc.

      The point is to come as close to reality as possible then jump over the edge to ridiculousness. It's hard when the edge of sanity around some issues is far gone.

      Thanks for the critique.

      PTxS

    • texshelters profile image
      Author

      texshelters 5 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      Yes, please share. Thanks!!

      PTxS

    • texshelters profile image
      Author

      texshelters 5 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      Thanks!

      PTxS

    • texshelters profile image
      Author

      texshelters 5 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      Thanks. I try to sound real with a punch line.

      PTxS

    • texshelters profile image
      Author

      texshelters 5 years ago from Mesa, Arizona

      fpher:

      My long time readers understand my that I am joking here, and others need to read to the bottom of it. I am not trying to "lose" anyone; however, I think my unique style wins out in the end. Some pieces are mixed, like this one, and some are humorous from the beginning. #1 reason does mention the Ninja hit squad.

      Thanks for the critique.

      PTxS

    • Joseph G Caldwell profile image

      Joseph G Caldwell 5 years ago from southwest Pennsylvania

      Tex, I think your satirical approach is very well suited for this issue because gun lovers have polemicized the issue and subscribe to the various pro-gun material (notice I didn't say "propaganda") and historical revisions crafted by the NRA and their NWObertarian cohorts flooding the web. The reductio ad absurdum style of argumentation, to me, is a good though sometimes risky way of probing into the pro-gun mindset. The standard arguments for gun control, even done with "moderation", simply do not work.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      text shelters.....Even as a lover of the use of sarcasm.....you go a bit far, Sir.

      I've tried to prepare for your style of writing, yet, for the first few paragraphs, (aside from your ninja comment) this hub read as deadly serious and accurate.....missing your intent at tongue-in-cheek.

      By the time your readers are able to catch on, they've lost the true gist of your article.

      Very sorry if you feel this is overly critical. Just having a finger on the pulse of most readers, you could be unintentionally turning people away from your articles......which I can safely assume you do not want to do.

      Further, being someone who does not have clear knowledge of nor involvement in the NRA.......I could easily have read this entire hub as "serious."......and I'm NOT the Lone Ranger.

      I certainly hope you accept this in the spirit in which I offer it....I do not mean to offend in any way. I am merely one of many "thinkers," who has the courage to speak, as well. Thank you Text shelters.

    • TeaPartyCrasher profile image

      TeaPartyCrasher 5 years ago from Camp Hill, PA

      Could I share this on FB please?

      I think a lot of it has to do with the "Frontier Mentality" that many in the Gun Lobby are stuck in though

    • profile image

      LikaMarie 5 years ago

      Haha!!! I think some people are pretty paranoid. Making gun laws that makes sense = trying to limit 2nd Amendment Rights. Of course, we should allow mentally ill people who aren't of sound mind have a gun, because if we say they shouldn't have one, honest citizens will suffer for it. Or something like that.

      Laughable, isn't it?

    • Steve Orion profile image

      Steve Orion 5 years ago from Tampa, Florida

      A very witty Hub, yet could easily be mistaken for sincerity, unfortunately. When you combine a lack of logic and open-mindedness with a possession of paranoia, hatred, and ignorance, concerning this issue, you get the Republicans.

      Why do they bring up the Constitution with this issue so much more often than with others? Is it because there is an insufficient number of verses from the Bible? I really don't see why the Second Amendment is the one conservatives know best. Well, I do see why, but it's just lamentable.