Flaws in Feminism (A Woman's Perspective)
Thank you feminists
There is a lot to thank the feminists for. Generations ago, women begun to have a choice to work...or not, have access to activities and jobs once exclusively for men, ability to do more things outside of the home, including voting and gaining property rights. Some things they continue to do today is fight for ending sexual assault and domestic violence, which I am thankful for as well.
Overall though, somewhere around the 70's and forward, feminism took a wrong turn. Some of it was effects of our new "freedoms" and they inadvertently caused a landslide of other issues. Feminism has gotten ugly today because it has increasingly become more about making political statements and taking narrow minded to a new low. It has become a political platform, a platform for hatred of men, even a trend for some women.
This was once an exclusive group of people who originally stood against that type of hypocrisy. Some of the issues they've chosen in recent years are petty and idle, a disgrace to serious issues that face women as a whole. Many generations ago feminism stood for dignity in being a woman. They were not trying to get or take anything from any other group, but now much of feminist thoughts and agendas focus on taking from other groups to achieve their goals.
The old goals of fighting for all women alike, having choices and better lives has taken a backseat to personal agendas such as politics and sexual orientation groups.For instance, feminists are focusing on political correctness, such as using the "she" form within written text rather than the generic "he". Also making some women feel as though they have been violated when they actually haven't- this stems from a sue-happy society. Political correctness is a waste of time in general- it's like potato or potata. It is politics because only politics focus on the minuscule issues, spinning their wheels while bigger things need attention.
Femasculine, by my definition, means that society (feminists included) have prematurely and dishonestly celebrated the uprising of women. It is actually an uprising of a more masculine woman. In short, women have to be like men in this society. Feminists reiterate the fact that we don't need men. No, we don't because we have become more like them. I can tell you now that if we play their game and compete to be like men, against men, we will never win. This is no solution at all and yet here we are on this track.
We are not valued as women. Of course it is still pleasing for women to be attractive (which is also geared toward men), but we truly haven't gained anything in society by utilizing our feminine qualities and assets (other than looks, which seems to be the most notable quality). Our strength that men claim we have over them is using our looks to persuade, but this is also an inherent weakness in that it tempts men and strikes fire in some to do pretty awful things to women as well. Not even looks are our strength.
Pant Suits and Princess Gowns
Is being a princess a disgrace to women? Does that mean we are still focusing on looks. Yes and no. The problem is celebrity interpretation of princess is a spoiled brat that gets what she wants because, and only because, she wants it.
I am raising a 4 yr old girl so I have had my fair exposure to Disney princesses and a gamut of movies. What's wrong with wanting to be like a princess? Women should expect a man to treat her good. Are there princes likely to be lined up for every girl. No way, but like I said, a man should treat a woman good. Problem is, women are caught between thinking they must be with the perfect man or not get married because a prince doesn't exist, or settle.
Feminists have taught us if we want something, we do it ourselves. We don't need to be pampered by him because we'll power play for his job and pay for the pampering at a spa. This isn't the solution.
Let's talk about the princesses in the Disney movies. They embrace the traits of a woman.In many Disney movies the princess is hard-working (Tiana in The Frog Princess), adventurous (Ariel in Little Mermaid), kind to the less fortunate (Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs), resourceful (Rapunzel in Tangled). I could easily name a 100 traits that are wonderful to embody as a princess, as a woman and none of them are spoiled like the celebrity version. There is nothing wrong with being a princess.
No pants suits or power suits here. What is the least respected job in the U.S? Stay-at-home mom and housewife; least paid, least appreciated, and least recognized and legitimized in U.S culture. We do not value the mothers that stay home to raise our future generations. I believe my mom staying at home with me for the first ten years of my life gave me a wonderful start. She knew me better than anyone and knew if my course in life was trailing and if I was lying. I never dabbled in drugs, smoking, sex as a teen. My mom knew me so well she'd pick up on those warning signs before anything happened. She was involved. However, not every mom can stay home.
I see women who work outside the home struggle with their children because they basically have only the weekends to get to know their child. They have to get information and tips from the daycare providers on what to do with their kids. Those people know their kids better than them. This, of course, is only my opinion, but don't get me wrong I am very much for women having a choice to stay at home or work. For some women, they would not choose to stay at home and that's OK as long as it's a choice. Unfortunately most dual income households and single women do not have that choice.
Women choose to go to work to not only provide for their family, but to have more stuff that they really don't need. They also go to work because it makes them feel important and useful to society. It's a respectable status.
I initially went to work after my daughter was born because I felt good telling people my respected position title. I laughed in the faces of sloppy housewives. This false notion was fed to me by a society that took it's cue from feminists who believed they were empowering us. My husband and I wanted to make a comfortable living. It really wasn't for survival, it was to afford more things. It amazed me how easy my job was compared to the days I stayed at home with my baby. I'd sit at my desk and look at my baby's picture and think 'this is working, it's so easy'.
Just because it's easy, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. Staying at home is tough, not glamorous at all. How many jobs do you get crapped on and not be able to jump in the shower when you want to and even if you did, it wouldn't matter cause you'll just get crapped on again five minutes later. I made this choice to stay home when my daughter was 5 months old. It literally cut our income in half.
But, let's take into account the single mothers who have to work. This is obviously not a choice they are given and to me, that's proof we aren't addressing a big issue. So many single moms out there and most are not given resources or know their options, but most will never have a chance to stay at home with their children if they wanted to. How can society be failing so blatantly in this- where are the feminists on this one? Yes, women can now work outside the home, but there is no financial support for single women who want to stay at home. Trust me, staying at home is not the lazy way out of working.
78% of single moms hold a job and 45% have more than one. This is a lot of time away from kids, kids who probably live in bad neighborhoods who need the most attention. Over half are at or near the poverty level. One in four babies are born to single moms. But these statistics are not only referring to poor class, but to older moms. Feminists have eased the stigma of sleeping around and having a child outside of marriage.
Feminism have encouraged women to go ahead and conceive outside of marriage, don't feel like you "need" a man to have a child, easing the stigma of women sleeping around behaving like men at their worst. The focus is on individualism and not needing a partner to raise a child or not having to "put up with" irreconcilable differences is a feminist pursuit.
Long ago feminists groups fought for women having a choice to work outside the home. They fought for women to be individuals and have a voice. Women felt devalued and unappreciated as a stay-at-home mom so of course working outside the home made them feel worthy and better about themselves. I know, I was one of those. Suppose feminists fought to make stay-at-home a more respected position so some of the women looking for validation wouldn't have to go outside the home seeking it. Feminists gave women the choice, but also confirmed that staying at home is a lesser pursuit.
Work and Family: Feminists failed the balancing act
I see the family unit as the glue in our society and I don't see feminists fighting to keep that intact. It's just more focus on politics and individualism. The fact that feminists pushed for women to thrive as men do in our society was ill-conceived. The notion of a balance has never come to fruition. A more substantial gain in the feminist corner would have been to have women thrive as women in society. For women to be seen as valuable because of the unique feminine qualities and talents that women have to offer (besides looks).
While there are feminist topics of importance such as discovering yourself as a woman and embracing those traits, these are highly individual, somewhat New Age or metaphysical, rather than benefiting women on a whole in society. A woman may find her 'inner woman' at home, but once she is at work, she is in a man's world. This is a struggle I see in women nowadays who almost seem to live different lives, too many different roles. At work they perform as a man, at home they need to be mommy, on their own they are trying to rediscover what it means to be a woman, but it is lost once they set foot outside the door into society.
When will I be happy?
Probably never. Hey, I'm honest. As long as we try to beat men at being like men, we'll lose the battle. Hell, we don't even fight battles the same way to begin with. Most of the issues surrounding women's rights could be resolved if women were as physically powerful as men and men decided to be subordinate to women. This isn't going to happen- we're different and should be celebrated as such.
For either man or woman, one must respect the other as they are and for their specific traits just to tolerate them and live happily together. Men have a deeper inherent need to be dominant than women so the focus should still be on not overtaking one sex, but respecting the other. I know dominant women and they are endlessly exhausted because it isn't truly what a woman is. I think feminists today believe in female superiority when neither sex should ultimately be regarded as superior.
I believe many men, especially the abusive and mentally ill, will always disrespect a woman because they have in the back of their mind the realization that they are physically stronger. It doesn't take a genius to figure this out and usually the dumbest will in fact use it. It's like kicking the dog- man will always have woman to vent frustrations and feelings of powerlessness onto. I have so many examples of this randomly taking place in my own life just within society, it would blow your mind.
We will always have these issues because of man's ability to overpower a woman physically. If physical strength is seen as the ultimate strength to be measured by then that's not the battle we should be fighting. Instead of beating men at their own game, let's make our own rules and measure strength in our own way.
Of course women are not the only victims. Women are filing for divorce as often if not more than men. Women are becoming increasingly educated as they outnumber men who graduate college. Women have certainly found a step up in society. So should feminists want total equality and to be treated the same as men? This is such an impossible notion for me to wrap my head around because we are simply...different. So when will feminists be happy is the true question.
While there are feminist topics of importance such as discovering yourself as a woman and embracing those traits, these are highly individual, somewhat New Age or metaphysical, rather than effecting women on a whole in society. A woman may find her 'inner woman' in the privacy of her home, but once she is at work, she is in a man's world. This is a struggle I see in women nowadays who almost seem to live different lives. At work they perform as a man, at home they need to be mommy, on their own they are trying to rediscover what it means to be a woman sans various outside roles, but this is where is see the imbalance in society. I don't believe it is right to expect a woman to be ten different people to fit into various aspects of her life. As a strong woman, that's my fight.