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For Lazy, Apathetic People: Easy Ways to Have The Worst-Looking Lawn in The Neighborhood

Updated on June 6, 2014

Your "old gang" from the block

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Giving bands a free space to practice helps a lawn to deteoriate

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Let's just be real

there are "some" in this country, and no, I am not in-need of a soapbox, that are just down-right lazy, apathetic and could care less about their job, their looks, their appearance, and even the appearance of their lawns.

Realistically speaking, I can relate to the last item. I hate lawn work. Well, not the work as much as the boiling-hot sun beating-down on my neck, face, and parching back at over 93 degrees. But such as it is, lawn work is one of life's necessities that we responsible people are expected to do on a regular basis if we want to keep our place of respect in our community.

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This is a typical, bad-looking lawn created by people doing the things in this piece

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Some lazy, apathetic people just "look" like they are working in the yard

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It's 98 degrees outside. You have a choice of drinking lots of cold beer or sweating yourself into a coma. What do you do?

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Do not worry

lazy, apathetic people, I am not on your case, so relax like you do most of your time. I am not one to hinder, harm, or affect your lazy lifestyle. I am just here really to help nurture your non-caring attitude of just letting things go, including your lawn.

Yeah, why bother cutting grass, sweating, getting stung by wasps, and bitten by stray dogs when you can lay around inside under the air conditioner watching ESPN, dozing, and snacking on bags of Cheet-Os while letting the world turn in its own way? Your lifestyle just might be the answer to most of the world's problems. Have you ever thought of that?

The hippies of the 60's were right

let people around you do their own thing--which today in 2014, can be adapted into allowing grass that God created to also do its own thing, grow, flourish and decorate the pretty world where we all live.

What will be accomplished by not doing lawn work

  • Helping our ozone to stay intact. With your lawnmower and Weed-eater not running, you are doing your part to save the ozone, air, and provide cleaner air for our younger generations who are coming up after us
  • Living longer lives. Face it. Hard, manual labor will eventually take time of our lives, so what does a few feet of tall grass do to harm anyone? Live and let live.
  • Our society will be more-tolerant of other races, tongues and lifestyles. Point: the Arab and Jewish nations in the Middle East have little or no grass to cut, and they are always happy and dancing around like life was a celebration. And it should be celebrated if you ask me.
  • Cutting grass irritates the insect world that uses our lawns to raise their families and if we keep cutting their homes, it will affect our ecosystem.

Pay close attention to these

"Easy Ways to Have The Worst-Looking Lawn in Your Neighborhood"

  1. Doze frequently and often. You work your behind off at your job five days a week, so why beat yourself up on the weekend? If you are already doing this, good for you.
  2. Drink lots of beer when it is hot outside. Actually doing burdensome lawn work will lead to heat stroke and then a stay in the hospital and if you haven't looked lately . . .hospital bills are very expensive. Do you really want to have another hefty bill on top of what you already owe?
  3. Tell neighborhood soccer-playing kids that they can use your lawn for practice. Their parents will think of you as a saint for sparing them the task of driving them a long way to practice for their games, and you will be doing them a favor by saving them gas, plus helping to save our ozone. Buddy, all of this time, I thought you were only lazy and didn't want to work when all of the time you were more-conscious of our pollution problem that I was.
  4. Get in touch with local 4x4, monster truck clubs and let them use your lawn for outdoor exhibits and you will NOT charge them anything. You will even use your own water to make your lawn a huge mud hole for their huge trucks to race in and excite the huge crowds that pay to see them.
  5. Now this one does require a little work. Go to the countryside and find parasitical-weeds such as Ragweed, Milkweed, Bitter weed and such. Then set them all out in your lawn. Soon you cannot tell your lawn for the ugly weeds.
  6. Have two or three meetings a week of your neighborhood gang of buddies who all love beer. So have them to bring their lawn chairs, coolers filled with cold ones and sit around on your lawn--laughing, telling jokes, and watching your lawn grow as tall as your knees.
  7. Snakes will love you if you do not cut your grass. You see, snakes are intelligent. They appreciate you doing them a favor for allowing them a place to live and reproduce.
  8. Call-up high schools in your area and tell them that if they need a free place to practice, just come over to your home and they can use your lawn all that they want.
  9. Sure, a few narrow-minded neighbors will call the city hall to complain about your jungle that is growing over your house, but you can stop this by getting out your lawnmower and "act' like you are cutting your grass, but you are really cutting the grass of the complaining neighbors. And when the angry neighbors yell, "Stop cutting my grass, you fool!" Do it. At least you tried to be a good neighbor.
  10. Your taking the trash cans to the curb for pick-up worries are history. Just dump all of your trash in your yard. Sure this lifestyle takes someone who thinks outside the normal perimeter of a normal person, but the dividends are great.
  11. Transplant a few fire ant hills in your yard. This will take patience, so just keep at it, and in time, your yard will not be a grassy-nuisance anymore, but a desert-looking patch of ground.

Stop polluting the air with fumes from your mower and enjoy looking at beauties like this girl

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This beauty has the right idea: snoozing and letting her grass do its own thing

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If you follow

these easy-to-do tips that are found on this piece, that is if you have the courage to do them, then you will be around a long time for all of our mutual friends in "HubVille," to see, talk to, and enjoy your hubs too.

But . . .if you insist on baking in the sun cutting grass that will only grow back, then please take it easy and drink plenty of fluids so you will not dehydrate.

Sincerely,

Kenneth

Honesty Quiz: Do you really like to do lawn work in the hot sun?

See results

Comments

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    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hey, Sanxuary,

      What an idea for Stephen King. "The Stepford Lawnkeepers." No, in all sincerity. If I were the one on graveyard shift and come home and some doofus punking my property, they would have to call the police for me telling this jerk to his face just how invasive he or she was.

      I appreciate you for being so strong.

      Come back often.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, Rebecca,

      Thank you kindly for reading this hub and leaving me such a nice comment.

      I do my best to provide quality-hubs for my very-appreciated followers.

      If I do less than quality, then I have failed.

      Stay cool and visit often.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, sheilamyers,

      If I might be so forward, and in all honesty, you are my type of girl. Mowing every two weeks and telling people with problems about your lawn's height to mow it themselves. LOL. Bravo.

      You have my respect forever. Thanks for the uplifting comment.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Tirelesstraveler,

      You are so right. What has happened to individualism? If I were allowed by my city ordinances, I would never cut my lawn, but there again, I do not have a desire to kill snakes either.

      What a paradox.

      Thank you for commenting. Come back anytime.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, moonlake,

      Thanks a million for your sweet comment. You must be made of patience. I cannot tolerate strangers, much less so-called neighbors to instruct me how my lawn or property should look.

      I admire you for your patience.

    • profile image

      Sanxuary 

      4 years ago

      I once lived in a neighborhood where everyone on the street was retired. Working 40 plus hours a week they would drive me crazy about my yard. Oddly my grass was always cut, never a mess and my flower beds weeded. Still I will not use weed killers and if its wet I will not bag my clippings. I would get off grave yard and some old person would be trying to punk my yard. They were not even discreet, just plain rude. I did not live in some Nazi controlled property development but it amazed me how odd these people were. Mostly bored, self entitled and telling others what to do was their only social skill. I never lost my cool because I realized that this was their idea of how to interact with others. They did it because that was how everyone was doing it. What a bunch of robots and what a dull life. That's what life's about, inspecting the neighbors yard.

    • rebeccamealey profile image

      Rebecca Mealey 

      4 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

      Another cute take on life. I just finished mowing the lawn. It took me two days. When it is good and raggedy, I shall do it again!

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 

      4 years ago from California

      I have the perfect excuse. We're having a drought and they tell us we can't water so my bad looking lawn looks just like everybody else is in the neighborhood now

    • profile image

      sheilamyers 

      4 years ago

      I'm always trying to convince the neighbors that if they ever have a problem with how high my grass is getting they can mow it for me anytime they like. Most of them cut theirs once a week and I do mine every two. Yes, it put exhaust into the air but at least I can sit back and enjoy the ride.

    • moonlake profile image

      moonlake 

      4 years ago from America

      We've had a few of these kind of people in some neighborhoods we've lived in. Voted up .

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