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Fractured Fairy Tales - Oswald the Donkey

Updated on September 11, 2011

Fractured Fairy Tales - Oswald the Donkey

Once upon a time, there lived a donkey named Oswald. He grew up in a happy show business family. His mother performed high dives into a tiny water tank and his father pulled the wagon that held the Amazing Two Headed Goat Boy. Oswald loved his parents but he secretly longed to become a world famous comedian. He spent his days writing stand-up routines and practicing them on the other animals in the circus. Over time he became quite good at his craft. However, given his circumstances he knew he would never get that big break which would catapult him off the Midway and into Prime Time.

One day Oswald was roaming through an enchanted forest when he came across a flock of fairies cavorting in an icy cold mountain stream. Oswald watched in amazement until the fairies noticed him. They welcomed him into their play. Before long they became fast friends. The fairies loved Oswald for his off-beat takes on pop culture and Oswald loved them back because he knew they were his meal ticket to the big time.

One day Oswald confided his deepest dreams to the fairies. To his complete lack of surprise, they pooled all their powers to come to his rescue. In almost no time at all Oswald found himself in Hollywood with a prime time sitcom, a 3 picture contract, and a book deal. Oswald had reached the top of his profession with his carefully honed skills and a lot of help from his fairy friends back in the enchanted forest.

Alas, Oswald proved unable to deal with the glaring spotlight of pop culture fame. Paparazzi hounded the poor donkey. A poor diet and lack of sleep ruined his physical health, He broke down. His prodigious talent floated away like the carnival balloons he once sold on the Midway. His sitcom was canceled, his book deal abrogated, his 3 picture deal nullified. Oswald returned home to his parents and resigned himself to a life in the circus. Poor Oswald did not live happily ever after.

The moral?

A mule and his funny are soon parted.

Fractured Fairy Tales - Leaping Beauty


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    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @The Old Firm: Definitely the latter. ;)

    • The Old Firm profile image

      The Old Firm 8 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      nicomp me old mate, a donkey takes after his mum and dad, a mule is just a horses' ass. I thought that you knew better, or was that poetic licence to get away with an atrocious pun?

      (Mario got it wrong too.)


    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @ralwus: lol. No, it's not. HubPages doesn't pay well enough to defend against libel suits.

    • profile image

      ralwus 8 years ago

      Is this about Kayne West?

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Ivorwen: Thanks for writing!

    • Ivorwen profile image

      Ivorwen 8 years ago from Hither and Yonder

      Thanks for the good laugh.

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @maven101: lol. I love to read people's takes on my stuff. Thanks!

    • maven101 profile image

      maven101 8 years ago from Northern Arizona

      I know a few teachers that fit this tale to a tee..the donkey benefits from affirmative action ( the fairies ), is placed in a position of power, and falls to the Peter Principle... only they can't be fired...

      Perhaps you should give equal time and write a Hub about Elmer the Elephant...a real success story...

      Fun read..Thanks, Larry