If I Were An Obama Czar .....
Transforming the Culture "Obama Style"
President Barrack Obama came to office in 2008 promising to "Fundamentally Transform America". Sure there were plenty of us who knew that by "fundamentally transform" he actually meant, "systematically destroy", but we were dismissed as routinely as Paris Hilton at a "Virtue Conference"
True, Obama seems to have succeeded in knocking us down a peg or two, and those are just the pegs we know about. But America was trashing itself long before the ignorant hordes clamored for Hope and Change. Obama, with help from a Marxist Congress, and a genuflecting media was just able to ruin things a little faster than anyone ever had. Plus he's been able to make "hating America", cool, for the first time since the Sixties.
But our "transformational" president isn't anywhere near done. He's still got big plans for America. Of course, a second term is crucial if he's to enact further "transformations". I fear that in 2012, America is going to reelect him. That could happen because for the first time in our history the delusional, greedy, and stupid who vote, outnumber ordinary, responsible adults, or because the" Left" will have so perfected their vile ,voter fraud tactics that Obama could lose in a landslide and still win.
Watching the country being happily dismantled for the last three years has been depressing, frustrating, and utterly exhausting. There's just no way I can take four more years, or longer of this tyranny. I've decided to heed the advice of one of America's great minds, former college basketball coach, Bobby Knight,who while being interviewed by CBS anchor, Connie Chung, once passed on this bit of wisdom; "If rape is inevitable relax and enjoy it". Hence I have a plan.
Even before "Obama's Second Inauguration" I'll be dusting off my resume and applying for a position as an Obama Czar. True, I'm really not qualified, but who in Washington is these days,I could just say that like Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner, I'm too big to fail. But wait, I've actually paid my taxes. Even though that might make me an anomaly in the West Wing, my strategy is to propose to David Axelrod, the creation of an ,"Office of Cultural Deconstruction, which I would, be delighted to oversee
I'm sure this would thrill Axelrod, Valerie Jarrett, the President himself, and even Michelle, because completing "America's Fundamental Transformation" will be much easier if all vestiges of what used to be America are eliminated or replaced. I'm sure I could convince them I was the right man for the job. If nothing else I could always suggest that bronze statues of our Dear Leader be placed on every corner.That alone should convince them I'm serious.
Upon appointment, my office would immediately propose getting rid of the flag. I'd have Old Glory replaced by a simple flag of egg-shell white. This flag of surrender would help to convince the entire world that we mean them no harm. When the rest of the world realizes America no longer wishes to pursue it's own self-interest, the stage will be set to pursue "worldwide fairness".
Next,would be that offensive eagle which represents the United States. There are three much better symbols which could more accurately symbolize America. Perhaps the best would be the Pig. Yes ,the Pig.This works because America uses more than their fair share of the world's natural resources. The Pig symbol also brings to mind, the Bible verse Matthew 7:6 ...."neither cast ye your pearls before swine.lest they trample them under their feet and turn again to rend you", which makes sense since America has managed to thoughtlessly trample the pearls of liberty, capitalism, and, constitutional law, into the mud of complacency.
Of course there's always the ostrich, whose 'head in the sand' perfectly represents the manner by which America has monitored it's government for several decades. The last option would be the turkey, whom Benjamin Franklin once described as a "noble bird", only because he could never have imagined what it meant today. On the other hand, I might want to keep the eagle, because there's already one on the Mexican flag.
Uncle Sam would have to go. Replaced no doubt by a person of color. The problem is which color. Perhaps a black woman wearing an Indian sari with an LGBT "Rainbow" patch on the front. This could be accessorized by a sombrero, Buddha earrings, and a tomahawk. But that wouldn't work. We'd have to account for Uruguay, Paraguay, and Guam. Obviously we'd need some "group think" to make this happen. A Committee For Symbolic Equity could definitely aid with this vital decision.
As nothing has come to represent evil oppression to the world more than the American green-back, the dollar would also have to be replaced. The easiest way to do this would be the issuance of a mandatory World Bank EBT card. This would require virtually no-paperwork since all those in non-government positions would be paid equally, regardless of assigned duties and provided their opinions were not contrary to those of Dear Leader. But frankly, the Office of Cultural Destruction need not worry about the dollar. That deconstruction project started on Day 1 of the Obama Administration.
The best part of the "Czar gig" would be that I wouldn't have to do anything to take down the "Entertainment Culture", that's been self-deconstructing for years..Naturally, as Czar of Cultural Deconstruction I'd have to insist on having a staff of Deputy Czars of Cultural Deconstruction. I wonder if the Kardashians are available ??