Got Your Secret Ring Yet?
The Chang-O Prest-O Man
Fastest moving toy on the market this day is a ring. Catalog sales are brisk, the mailman is having to work overtime and the world will never be the same. When you place you order, if you can find them in stock, better order at least a dozen. Rumor has it that WalMart is on a ration like they continually are on the IPad too. Thass right folks, this is hotter than the hottest IPad Apple could ever conjure up. The bonus for your buck is that it's MAGIC! Kids are banging their heads against liberal living room walls and whining to Mommy and Daddy because they just have to have one.
Selling Like Hotcakes Near You!
Now word on the street is that this thing is better than the old "Captain Midnight Decoder Ring." Is that possible, you ask. Lets give the demo ring a test drive. Rub once and you'll hear:
You seeing this?
No? Okay lets regroup Obama Patrol and give it a second rub and the secret handshake this time for S & G's.
Uh Huh! What Happened To This?
Drats! Foiled again. FP, how much did you say this rip off was going to cost us? WOWSER! He doubled the debt in just the short time he's been in office. Okay, Obama Patrol these conservative types are pissing on our parade, not to mention tarnishing our rings, Give it a triple rub and three men in a tub. Wait! Is that politically correct? We got them this time!
Covered A Lot Of Lies Here Quickly
Alright Obama Patrol, we know now what we gotta do. Pull out those "Down Vote" pinkies and blast the truth here. How dare he post anything about our Savior Obama? How dare he! Listen! SSSHHHH... It's supposed to be a secret that the man wouldn't know the truth if it came up and bit him. We got em now on the four count. This ain't baseball you know? I know we got TFP lying with this next clip! Rub those rings like you were rubbing when you were a teenager.
His Legislation Makes Petunia Pig Blush!
This #%@&* has got to stop Obama Patrol. Before he was elected they couldn't pin anything on him because he never did anything. Now we're in a pickle. He hasn't been able to vote 'NOT PRESENT" now. But he hasn't been present much with all the golf and vacationing. Quiet! Lets do the hip bump, the rump bump and five rubs of the ring. That''ll do it.
Musta Missed It Huh?
Save A Horse, Ride A Frog! Where is this guy finding all these videos? You Tube? Take a memo to Whe Whine House Decoder Ranger #6. Have them tell the FCC to shut down the internet and I mean pronto. How were all these blatant lies captured on tape. Oboe Wan Obama has always been so careful in the past by having no record on anything. I know, I know. We had them buffaloed in the campaign by selling them the "hope and change" koolaid. What he has another one? YIKES!
Where do I sign George? Where do I sign?
Well, as we approach Independence Day my fellow Americans, take a hard look at the last 2 and 1/2 half years with the Liar-in-Chief at the helm. If he knew he couldnyt do any of those things, why did he open his big hot dog hole?
Take a rub-a-dub, two Prozac and call me in the morning Obama Patrol. My secretary will be in Tuesday morning to answer the phone.