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Halloween Becomes A Completely Adult Holiday In Portland Oregon.

Updated on October 28, 2012

Halloween is coming of age in Portland, Oregon. Every year there are fewer and fewer children going out trick or treating. The new trend is for Halloween becoming an adult occasion. More and more people are answering the door on Halloween night for adults dressed up and trick or treating, Part of it may be because there is a virtual 25 percent unemployment rate in Portland due to too much government control of the local economy on a micro management basis so Younger adults who have little or nothing to eat go out trickerd treating for a year's supply of candy. You may have noticed this trend where you live? In Portland this trend is starting to change the way the holiday is celebrated. In some neighborhoods, after 10 pm , Homes visited stop giving away the candy and start offering adult treats that include Beer in cans and bottles in brown paper bags, cigarettes, cigars, matches, lighters, snuff, condoms, and of course those miniature bottles of booze found on first class on airlines. Laurelhurst is said to be the best neighborhood to find the real treats tricker treating for except if you want the free joints it is better to go off to NE and SE Portland to homes where it is grown as medicine in basements or for clinical use. Some homes ask for ID but most of them just put the stuff in baskets on the front porch with a sign that says Help your self. There were a lot of free cigarettes and even whole packs last year. It might be that cigarette companies are donating free samples?

If that is not enough that is adult going on in Portland on Halloween there is also the ever so lascivious erotic ball downtown which of course is as pornographic as the Mercury Newspaper's Hump local pornography film festival. Where are the religious protesters in Portland for all of this? The Priests are out in the streets flashing with the missionaries on Halloween eve and the Bearded nuns are out in force smoking cigars and policing the downtown streets with whips and paddles. Anyone who is really religious in town is inside their homes and apartments with the doors and windows locked, the lights turned off huddling under their dining room tables.

I don't smoke and I don't drink but after ten pm I am putting on my elephant costume with the Mitt Romney bumper sticker on my tail gate to go tricker treating to load up on the adult treats offered. I filled the pantry with beer, cigarettes, cigars and more last year getting several shopping bags full in less than an hour. Then if I want to have a party later in the year I don't have to go out shopping. I even get a huge bag of candy left over from the kids because the kids don't have any interest in the candy already being overweight and sitting at home playing video games and watching television. The left over candy comes in huge quantities at least until everyone starts converting Halloween fair to the adult sinful varieties.


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