ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Hamnet – a scary ghost story

Updated on August 30, 2011
Booo! Scary times are ahead.
Booo! Scary times are ahead.

On a dark winter night, a ghost walks the ramparts of the Beehive in Wellington. Discovered first by a pair of ACTion men, then by the old duffer Rogario, the ghost resembles the deposed National Disgrace leader, King Dong whose former young upstart Prince Jiangqi with the assistance of some shady ACTion men has inherited his throne and got him in the crap with his missus.

When Rogario and the ACTion men bring Prince Rodders, the leading ACTion man to see the ghost, it speaks to him, declaring ominously that it is indeed his Dong’s spirit, and that he was done away with most callously by none other than Jiangqi with the assistance of some shady ACTion men. Ordering Rodders to seek revenge on the man who usurped his throne and got him in the crap with his wife, the ghost disappears with the dawn.

Prince Rodders devotes himself to avenging King Dong’s demise, but, because he is contemplative and thoughtful by nature, he delays, entering into a deep melancholy and even apparent madness. Jiangqi and his henchwoman Crusher worry about the prince’s erratic behavior and attempt to discover its cause. They employ a pair of Dong’s friends, Bankso and Bosco, to watch him.

When Gannett, the pompous Lord High Forger, suggests that Rodders may be mad with love for his list MP, Hevva, Jiangqi agrees to spy on Rodders in conversation with the girl. But though Rodders certainly seems mad, he does not seem to love Hevva: he orders her to enter a nunnery and declares that he wishes to ban marriages.

A group of traveling ACTors comes to Wellington, and Rodders seizes upon an idea to test his opponent’s guilt. He will have the players perform a scene closely resembling the sequence by which Rodders imagines his opponent to have deposed King Dong, so that if Jiangqi is guilty, he will surely react. When the moment of the murder arrives in the theater, Jiangqi leaps up and leaves the room. Rodders and Rogario agree that this proves his guilt. Rodders goes to scupper Jiangqi’s reign but finds him praying. Since he believes that killing Jiangqi while in prayer would send Jiangqi’s soul to heaven, Rodders considers that it would be an inadequate revenge and decides to wait. Jiangqi, now frightened of Rodders’ madness and fearing for his own safety, orders that Rodders be sent to civilian life at once.

Rodders goes to confront Hevva, in whose office Gannett has hidden behind a tapestry. Hearing a noise from behind the tapestry, Rodders believes Jiangqi is hiding there. He draws his breath and issues a statement through the media, dismissing Gannett. For this crime, he is immediately dispatched to the electoral with Bankso and Bosco watching him However, Jiangqi’s plan for Rodders includes more than banishment, as he has given Bankso and Bosco sealed orders for the ghost of King Dong demanding that Rodders be excommunicated from the ACTion man Party.

Following Prince Rodders demise King Dong reveals his plan to re-launch the ACTion party to lift the spirits of New Zealanders. In order to up the spiritual quotient he vows to fill the caucus benches exclusively with members who are either dead, brain dead, or just dead boring.

So if you hear some unholy clunking in the dark hours of November; fear not; it is just the ghost of elections past come back to remind us not to elect any more deadheads to run our fine nation.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      wot about the maya night in shinning armour who is coming to tip the world over....


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)