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Homosexuality: Natural or choice?
Gays and society
Although homosexuality has always existed from the very beginning, and there were times when it was somehow accepted due to cultural reasons, it seems that it has never achieved a level of acceptance and tolerance as today. Yet, there is still a lot of homophobia, especially in overreligious regions of the world, and there is still some work to be done in order to reduce this feeling towards gays. In fact, the use of terms such as "gay" to insult still proves that homosexuality is far from being accepted by the majority of people.
But in order to increase the tolerance of this behavior, or lifestyle, whatever people want to call it, it always helps to try to understand its origin. Many people- me included- don't understand clearly what a man can see attractive in another man, or a woman in a woman; people who are the same sex have the same parts, the same elements, similar behavior, similar interests, and naturally, at least in terms of what can be general, people tend to be curious of what is different, new, and strange- not what is equal, similar, or something that you already have. So there are some issues to understand:
1. Does homosexuality actually exist? Can a "man" love (romantically) another "man"?
We live in a highly sexualized world today. Music, TV, movies, novels... you can hear or read about sex everyday. Our culture has become overwhelmingly sexual, and the concept of love- which is very wide, and generally refers to brotherly, family, agape and romantic- has been reduced to the last of these- romantic. So it is not strange that many people don't know that the affection they feel for someone else does not have to be romantic or sexual.
Today, once we see a man and a woman together, we rapidly label them as a "couple". It could be actually a brother and a sister, a son and a mother, a daughter and a father, cousins, or simply friends, but society prefers to assume they have something and creates this romantic environment that may not really exist. This is, again, because of how sexual society has become. The extent of this is reaching to a level in which actually, seeing two people together- regardless of the genders, man-man, woman-woman or man-woman, the label of "lovers", "boyfriends", "girlfriends" appears fast. How many articles have you read about "X artist/actor was found dining together with a beautiful woman", or "famous celebrity found with another man (or woman) in the beach", like suggesting there is something romantic going on?
This is a big and serious problem for the generations that are growing today. Since everything is been seen as sexual or romantic, friendships and other types of relationships are not developing healthily today. There are many people who, thanks to this mediocre mindset explained, do not believe a man and woman can't be friends only. "They must have something". And since gays are advocating for the same rights as heterosexual people, either inadvertently or on purpose, a similar mindset is being developing for same sex relationships- a man and a man together means "gayness"; it is like friendship cannot exist anymore.Two people together equals romantic relationship. How sad.
There are some people who clearly understands this is not the way it works. Relationships are not limited to romantic, love, sex or anything related. Certainly, homosexuality exists but for what I have observed in gays I have personally known and heard also in the radio, TV and media, truth is that the majority of people who have homosexual tendencies do not share a behavior that is, according to culture and society (and religion), according to the physical gender he or she was born. Gays claim that they are born that way, so what causes some people to be born having attraction towards someone the same gender?
A possible theory can be emotional transgenderism. A transgender is a person who feels was born in the wrong body. When I say "emotional transgenderism" I mean a person who might not feel being born in the wrong body but does not have the "acceptable" traits that characterizes the gender. Women tend to be soft, sweet, emotional, give a lot of importance to feelings, etc. This is the way society still sees women, even though some men (straight) may share some of all of this traits in a certain way. Most gay men share these traits. This also explains some gays' tendencies to talk effeminately. It is like they need to feel they act as a woman, even if they struggle to not do so, for whatever reasons.
Depending on different sectors, this is seen as an aberration, sin, absurdity, mental illness, or something evil. But this logic fails in the fact that gays are not different from straight people in the fact that they respect others with their preferences. Of course there are gays who do not respect, similar to heterosexual people who do not respect when a person they like is already taken (in a relationship or married). But this is because some people are evil, and evil does not know sexual orientation, race, ethnicity or any demographic characteristic. If gays are born that way and many tend to display the opposite gender's traits, then it is most possible that gays are in fact, in a way, transgenders. Or at least they have a different biology which simply defines who they are. This is not empirically proven yet, but is logical to assume it has to be that way.
So answering the question, true homosexuality (a man who acts as a man according to societal and religious standards feeling attracted to another man who acts as a man according to societal and religious standards) cannot be proven to exist or not exist. To say it exists may be wrong because then that would mean anyone can turn homosexual (or if it is easier to explain in that war- everybody is bisexual) There are gays who don't feel a bit of attraction towards someone the opposite sex, and straight people who feel "gruesome" the idea of having a romantic relationship with someone the same sex. Some claim and assure everybody have some sort of bisexuality and straight/gay people "shrink" that attraction for both in favor of one of them.
2. Natural or choice?
Most religious groups still believe that homosexuals choose their lifestyle, and that homosexuality is demonic and evil. I would not want to go into religion in this topic since I am covering it in other hubs, but if we understand that homosexuality may be caused by biological traits that are unchangeable, then the logic of homosexuality being demonic is nothing but a load of nonsense brought by misconceptions and misinterpretations of the books like the Bible and the Quran. There are people who have curiosity and may explore homosexuality in a given time actually realizing they are not homosexuals. But most gays share the same trait- always feel attracted to the opposite gender's likes. Although it is not always correct to assume that small boys (4-7 years old) who liked to play with Barbie dolls or girls' toys in general are potential gays, the truth is that most are. The same goes with boys experimenting with women's dress, make-up, and similar. This is not general for all gays- many display man-like behavior even up to adulthood.
Some gays are still offended by this theory. They are in their right to feel offended when they are treated as evil beings, because they are not. Gays who are evil are no way different than evil straight people. Being gay does not save the gay from being dangerously ambitious, selfish, greedy, envious, troublesome or the like, much like straight people. Some gays tend to say they are better parents, tend to have stronger relationships, and that is simply not true. You cannot prove something when you are still a tiny to minor minority of human population. Most break-ups and problems happen within the heterosexual community simply because they are the majority and therefore, they are more "noisy". But some gays also try to induce this thought that anyone can be gay, and may try to force the idea that people become bisexual. This is not the way to gain respect, the easiest way to gain respect is accept them as they are and ignore those who are not educated enough to understand that gays and straight have no real differences nor one is superior to the other.
3. Differences between gays and straight people?
None, other than their sexual preference. Humans are the same, all of them, regardless of culture, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation or any demographic distinction; language, religion and culture may play serious differences but none of them are "superior" to each other. Emotional maturity and education is required to understand this, even though it seems most logical, but we humans still like to feel superior in any way and use religion and other factors as cheap excuses to justify our "superiority" over other people.