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Honoring 'The Key' To A Teen Guy's Dating Success

Updated on February 13, 2012

No Wonder I Was A Lonely Wreck

Don't laugh. Don't grimmace. Don't turn from this story. I am trying to help you, if you are one of the millions of single teenage guys, maybe a single guy in his twenties, who describes his dating success as a 'trainwreck.' Don't worry. I am not here to judge, brow beat, bully rag or worse, make an example of you. I care too much for you as a single guy to do that to you. Besides if you do describe your dating life as a 'trainwreck,' then how could I possibly inflict more humiliation on you with this story?

Unless you dig chicks who are into folk music by Pete Segar, Bob Dylan or Mac Wiseman, then turn off from this story, but if you love to date prety girls, you and I are a lot alike. When I was a teenager, I loved the pretty girls. The cheerleaders, majorettes, type who were always invited to all the parties in after hours. Those girls. And I wager that you are the same way. But something is wrong. Don't fret. I have your answer possibly in this artwork. The key to your dating success depends on if you want to learn to play the electric guitar or not. How bad do you want a date with Miss Popularity and be seen by her friends and yours in the most-popular places in town? How bad, mister? You got to want it with the hunger of a pack of Lobo wolves who haven't eaten in days.

I can tell you from first-hand experience that I saw many of my buddies who could play electric guitar in the years 1969 through 1972, not only go out with the prettiest girls, but later, marry them and lead successful happy lives and then later producing happy successful children. All because, I truly believe, that the guy was talented on playing the electric guitar. Oh, I admit that this has been a secret theory of mine for years, but I did see many of my guitaring buddies marry pretty girls and have good-looking kids.

These guitar-playing buddies of mine, were not all handsome, hot hunks or greek gods. They were mostly like me--plain, unpopular and unnoticed in the hallways of Hamilton High School everyday. But seemingly to me, these non-popular guys who went many a weekend without a date, saw an ultra-dramatic change in their lives when they picked up the electric guitar. I would't lie to you. Isn't 'Thou shalt not lie,' still one of the 10 Commandments?

I witnessed: Lloyd Wiginton, George Pearce, Tommy Roby, Eugene Taylor and more, become the talk of Hamilton High School in Hamilton, Alabama. Look it up. Hamiton exists. And it didn't take a month of time to pass before Lloyd, George, Tommy and Eugene to be on the lips of people in our hometown for their gift of playing the electric guitar. Does that say something to you right now? I can see that you are skeptical. And you are right to be skeptical. I would be too if someone like me came along with a story that might change my life.

Electric guitars in the right hands of single guys like you, are magic wands. The music produced by an experienced electric guitar player can capture most pretty girls' attention--whether she be a cheerleader or just a pretty girl that only dates popular and talented guys. The electric guitar, I know, is a gift of God to help single guys win the hearts of the females that he adores and yes, that he also deserves. Now I am not stating that if you study all the time and on weekends that there is anything wrong with you. No. I am just trying to sell you on my idea that by doing the simple act of learning to play the electric guitar, you can have a well-balanced life. And weekends will no longer be designated to research on: Is There Life on Mars, not that this project is not important, I think that you deserve a night out with a pretty girl who appreciates your music when you plug your electric guitar into a Vox or Marshall amp and entertain her with songs like, Purple Haze, Foxy Lady, Crosstown Traffic and Voodoo Chile, all by guitar master, Jimi Hendrix who by the way and to prove my point, again, was NEVER without female companionship.

And speaking further on famous guitarists who were never without the company of pretty girls, here is a short list of the electric guitar players, who even without their bands, could have had any girl they wanted at any time they wanted.

1. Eric Clapton 2. George Harrison 3. Jeff Beck 4. Jimmy Page 5. Rick Derringer 6. Johnny Winter 7. Alvin Lee 8. Stevie Ray Vaughn 9. John Phillips 10. Burton Cummings. Now do you see what I am talking about?

Let's be real honest, as my good friend, Les Walters, who manages the Journal Recordd newspaper in Hamilton, Alabama, (call him at 1-205-921-3104 to verify that he is known to say the previous phrase), you don't enjoy living on the sidelines of life. Do you? Wouldn't you like it better if you could get home from school, now picture this, drop your books, your mom asks, "Where are you going with your guitar?" and you smile with confidence and reply, "Oh, ha, ha, mom. I got an early date with Jennifer Stone Leigh, the captain of our cheerleading squad. I will be home late. Love you, mom," and out to the car and off to pick up Jennifer. Now doesn't this have more of an appeal than sitting in your room--after the homework is finished and wasting time calling your friends who have semi-attractive sisters who might serve as your stepping stone for prettier girls? I thought so.

And learning to play the electric guitar is not hard. With the right teacher and most will charge a nominal fee and if they are friends to begin with, maybe less, you can learn maybe four or five songs and suddenly the word will spread around your block, school, favorite hang-out and even church you attend that you, "Mister Born Again Electric Guitar Player," is on the scene and is making a name for himself with one pretty girl at the time. Are you interested?

Before I go, I need to find out from YOU, the guys with lack-luster dating lives,

1. Did I give you enough information in this story to help you become a social god?

2. Did I tell the truth about electric guitars?

3. Did my facts line up with my opinions?

and

4. When are you going to start learning how to play the electric guitar?

Be more than a casual observer of watching "Jimbo" the electic guitar always score with the upper-crust of pretty girls in your school or town. Be a paricipant in life. Learn to play the electic guitar. Today.

And know that I only wanted to help you. 'No strings' attached.

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