House Guest or Roommate - Facts to the Matter
What Can I Do?
Have you ever gotten yourself into a situation that started out one way, and before you knew it, the situation has taken on a life of it's own?
I am going to pose a problem to you, and you will understand what I mean. One day a very good friend of mine, a single female, who I have known for about ten years, showed up at my door. She came to me very distraught, for her mother had gotten hit by a car a few weeks back, and she seemed to be getting better, then suddenly died.
Her mother was well off, and owned two houses, and my friend, who I will call Peg, had been living with her, along with her oldest daughter, and her three kids. When Mom died, the daughter took over the house, and it all became a very sticky and messy situation, a lot of fighting, upset, power struggles, and Peg just wanted away from it all, so she asked me if it would be alright to stay with me for a little while until mom was buried, and all the complications with the houses got cleared up by way of the family lawyer. We all got along very well in the past, and my husband and myself saw no problem with it. Peg had stayed with us before, for she lived in the next town, and she had been a pleasure to have around. I felt for her, for the family was just torn apart and really was having some ugly problems as far as who was going to get what, and that sort of thing.
Well, mom got buried, and the family lawyer sold the houses, one in eleven days, and the other fortunately very shortly thereafter. Peg was to receive money from an inheritance, and so she stayed a little longer so that she would have the finances to get a place to live.
It has been about four months, going on five and we still have Peg as a houseguest. Our house is small and even though we all do get along very well, I am looking forward to Peg finding her own life again, for the longer she stays with us, the more she is becoming not only a part of our lives, but has actually taken over parts of mine. She has been through so much lately that I really do not want to cause her any more distress, but I like to do things my own way in my house, and the longer she stays, the more of a underlying confilct we seem to be having. It is just over dumb things too, like how much soap to use, what kind of detergent we buy, what we watch on TV, whether or not we are on the computer too much, who uses the phone more, and so on.
I really do not want to lose a good friend, but all this conflict seemed to creep up on us so slowly, and I am afraid that one day soon somebody is going to have words over a problem, and feelings are going to be hurt.
I don't want to be rude, but I really should not have let this get so far. Now I do not know what to say, or how to change this situation without it becoming a bad scene. If anybody has had a similiar situation, or has any suggestions or answers I am all ears. I am afraid I have gotten myself into something that cannot be undone without hurt feelings and losing a friend.
The End of the Story
Well,. as the days passed, Peg stayed with us for about another week and then let me know that her daughter had gotten a large place and she was going to go stay with her grandchildren for a while, but she would be back as soon as she could get into that account which was at this point still frozen.
I said that was fine, and we discussed calling each other to stay in touch. We did talk to one another then next day, and after about another week, I called her to see what she was doing, and to just talk, not about the money, but just as friends as we always had. To my suprise, her number no longer worked. It had been shut off.
I wondered why, or thought that maybe she had not payed her bill for some reason..
I never saw or heard from Peg again ever since. This really hurt my feelings, for we had been so close, and to be honest I had never asked her for that money, not would I have been upset if she never paid me for staying, for she had stayed with me so many times I really did not expect money for it.
I never saw her again to this day. Live and learn I guess.