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How Do You Identify A Federal Agent

Updated on July 5, 2014

Who can't spot a Fed?


Seriously, it doesn’t matter what they’re wearing, if they’re male or female, what their sexual orientation is, their race, whether FBI or DHS, anything; a Fed is a Fed is a Fed. Each and every one of them gives off the aura of Federal Agent.

I don’t know what it is. Is it the way they carry themselves? If so, then obviously it’s been trained into them. Could it be that unconsciously we pick up on the gun? Maybe the clothes don’t sit quite the same way as they do on people without guns. Maybe there’s a slight bulge that we subconsciously notice or the weight of the gun affects their stance, muscles or something.

Could it be the way they observe? How they move their heads or the way in which their eyes scan the room? Okay, there’s only so many ways to move your head but I think that the eye thing is valid.

A while ago, I had an appointment to meet with a Federal Agent. Nothing to do with a crime. We agreed to meet at a restaurant called Le Boulanger. I arrived a few minutes early so that I could buy myself an ice tea. It was a hot day and I was thirsty. So I got the tea, put in the fake sugar and then turned around. Now this was early afternoon and several patrons were there eating and other people were walking outside. Then I spot this man in grey slacks, a pink button-down shirt, carrying his jacket and a cell phone. That’s him! That’s him! Next thing I know my cell rings. He asks if I’m at the restaurant. I tell him yeah, I can see you. He wants to know how I knew it was him. I said, I dunno. You look like a Fed.


BTW...


My friend got his security clearance; he's a scientist. I was asked a lot of questions about him, myself, his other friends. Occupation, hobbies, groups I/he belongs to. Does he know any foreign nationals? Who? It took about an hour. He was actually very nice but I didn't have anything to hide. At that point OWS didn't exist and I'd only been a cheering section for "attacks" against scientology. I don't consider the anti-scientology movement as political or anything like that. It didn't even occur to me to mention it. Our lives pretty much revolve around scifi/comic book conventions, movies, computer graphics. We're probably not very interesting to other people. Although this guy was into ComiCon. He hadn't been but it was coming up (San Diego) and he wanted to go.

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    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 

      5 years ago from USA

      Interesting. Photos are cute, too.

    • Thomas Swan profile image

      Thomas Swan 

      5 years ago from New Zealand

      Haha, love the pics! You should put the rest of the story (in your comment) into the hub. It's quite short as it is.

    • Attani profile imageAUTHOR

      Attani 

      6 years ago from Silicon Valley

      My friend got his security clearance; he's a scientist. I was asked a lot of questions about him, myself, his other friends. Occupation, hobbies,groups I/he belongs to. Does he know any foreign nationals? Who? It took about an hour. He was actually very nice but I didn't have anything to hide. At that point OWS didn't exist and I'd only been a cheering section for "attacks" against scientology. I don't consider the anti-scientology movement as political or anything like that. It didn't even occur to me to mention it. Our lives pretty much revolve around scifi/comic book conventions, movies, computer graphics. We're probably not very interesting to other people. Although this guy was into ComiCon. He hadn't been but it was coming up (San Diego) and he wanted to go.

    • profile image

      a nony mouse 

      6 years ago

      So what happened after you met\/

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