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How Female Domination Backfired

Updated on September 1, 2016

Back in the Cave

It was a filthy evening.

The icy rain was pouring,
the wind was arctic, and
there wasn't much to eat
in the cave.

One of women, feeling that first hunger pang got an idea.

"Men! Oh great powerful strong men!" she cried, batting her eyelashes, "We poor weak women are so hungry. We wish we were as strong and powerful as you so as to go out and kill a whatsit so we couldn't eat something, instead of having to huddle here and wait to die of starvation."

The men looked at the forlorn little woman, her sad face and pleading eyes and then to each other.

"Never fear, oh poor weak women, we'll go out there and kill a whatsit!"

With a look of awe on her face, (copied by the others) the women watched the men go out of the cave with their crummy spears into the dreadful evening.

Once they were gone the women poured some coffee and began to discuss them. The word 'Chump' was coined at that time.

Over the next few Thousand years

From year naught until Neanderthal days, women pretty much had a free ride. Men went out to hunt and brought back the food, while women did the gardening.

Being pregnant was a 'get out of work free' card. Dragging out the weaning for a couple of years was another scam women used to allow them to sit around the cave drinking coffee and gossiping while men went out to fight giant whatsit with crappy spears and often got dead.

Things were looking good for the women. They got lots of food, and men knew that if they couldn't feed their wives the guy who could would take them away. Hence each chump tried to be the best hunter he could. Some of the top guys became the best dinner for a giant whatsis.

Then It Changed

The Chumps decided that going out and killing giant whatits made them somehow 'superior' to those who sat toasty in the cave drinking coffee and gossiping.

How they came to this conclusion, considering how truly ghastly it was to be walking all over creation searching for some horrible whatsit to kill whether it was raining, snowing, or hailing, is one of those mysteries of life.

However, once deciding that their task made them superior, and that women were totally incapable of performing it, they were filled with a sense of power.

As they had spent years bumbling around, doing the heavy lifting and long walking, their muscles were bulked and though they might not have looked all that buff, they were really quite strong.

The men, interpreting physical mass to brain capacity, decided that they should run society.
If the women objected a few punches in the face would subdue them.

And that is how men came to dominate society.


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