Gossip Girl: How To Handle Gossip and Rumors
Gossip and rumors are two of the most damaging and character demoralizing things that could happen to anyone. When someone hears something related to an individual and without verifying if the information is correct, or simply leave what they heard to themselves. They take that piece of information and then pass it along. Then after mouth to ear, mouth to ear the information sometimes changes and may become even more demoralizing.
Have you ever been the Victim of gossip and rumors?
The Seriousness of Gossip
The Gossiper normally never see's the real danger in spreading propaganda about an individual. They enjoy all the activities that the gossip brings, and even though some gossipers know that they are causing mental and emotional damage to the person, they continue to spread the propaganda like a raging forest fire. There are gossipers of every age, gender and class. The younger gossipers may not realize the damage they are causing with their mouth and thus think that it it cool to continue spreading hearsay and rumors.
- People may look similar, may have the same and different physical capabilities, but deep down inside, everyone is different. What one person may handle well emotionally, someone else may suffer a mental breakdown. There are just some people who do not have the bucket to carry damaging rumors and gossips. Most of the time these rumors tend to rip and tear down the character of the individual, whether the rumor maybe true or false. People tend to be quite emotional when faced with and disturbed when confronted with mental and emotional situations that may either ruin their reputation or cause extreme embarrassment to them. Let me give you an example of how rumors can even affect individuals who are associated with the person whom the rumors are geared at. Thomas Cashlin is a well known investor who does well on the stock markets, he is an economics and accounting genius, he has a wonderful daughter who has followed in his footsteps. She has completed her masters in macro-economics and is planning on venturing into the stock market. Thomas Cashlin had made some very risky and bad investments where he has lost all is money, he is desperate to reinstate is status and formulates a ponzi scheme to accumulate enough funds and plans to make legitimate investments in the future. His so called investors somehow find out about is dirty little plot and reports him to the relevant authorities, he is arrested and charged for financial crimes.
- His daughter was never involved in those solicit activities, but the word on the financial street is that she may have been involved in her fathers venture and she is just a chip off the old block. Even though she is a good and honest person, Thomas's daughter continues to be the talk of wall street, rumor has it that she may have been the mastermind in her fathers scheme and that wherever she works, she will do the same or worse to investors, right away a block is placed on her name as being some ponzi master and she is unable to solicit any work on wall street. She doesn't know how to handle the rumors about her and slumps into depression and even grows a little hatred for her father as she blames him for putting her in such position. She continues to suffer emotionally as everywhere she goes her father's name is well known and eventually hers. Although her father was charged, she was never a suspect in any wrong doings and was never investigated, but the gossip and rumors kept piling.
- Some gossips can lead to devastating results, one of such could be physical confrontation which may result in the injury of one or both parties or worse, the lost of life of an individual. There are certain people who never seek the truth but rather act impulsively upon hearsay. Many relationships have ended sour because of rumors that have been spread upon each partner. Even marriages are not spared. When someone hears a heated gossip about themselves or someone that they represent (girlfriend, brother, etc) they tend to be more heated and ready to fight either the gossiper, girlfriend, brother or anyone who they felt violated them in some way. Schools are one gossip haven, many fights have been fought over rumors, many friends have been lost over gossip.
It can be quite awful when you are at work and stories are buzzing over your head about you. This should not occur as the workplace is a place for adults and there are always protocols and procedures to adhere to at the office.
Here are some of the basics in handling rumors or gossip at the workplace.
- You must remember to never confront an employee about anything that you have heard that they may have said or spreading about you directly. As i said before, the office is a business place with adults that have strict policies and procedures to follow. If you are having rumors being spread constantly about you, the first approach should be to visit the Human Resource Department. If your organization is structured correctly, you should have an individual or a unit in HR (depends on the size of the organization) that deals with personal workplace conflicts. Speak with your HR representative and see where they take it from there. If for some reason you are not getting the desired results that you should from the HR department, speak with a Lawyer so he/she can give you advice on where to move on from there. Never sit and have you name slaughtered in a work environment, you loose many credibility and respect.
Yes, there is a thing called public rumor. This kind of rumor can begin anywhere, from going on a date to simply helping a lonely child in the street. Public rumors are very devastating as it tends to spread across a vast majority really fast, and with today's types of communications, you can be sure that you may even become famous in countries that probably you didn't know existed. So how do we handle public rumors? There is no set way in dealing with this, but it all comes down to clearing your name. All rumors and gossip has a root domain, this root domain is where the evil from the mouth starts. The Gossip root domain could be a person representing themselves, or a person representing a newspaper or a website. You need to be on the streets and listen to these rumors yourself, see how they are circulating and make your notes. Make notes of any digital media that the rumor or gossip may have appeared on, whether it be a tweet from an individual or an article on a website. Make contact with all these objects that may be helping to circulate this rumor, the best approach is always to be mild about the situation. Speak with the newspaper and website owners and find out why they would publish such atrocities. Have them write your truth to the situation or if you don't feel like doing damage control, have them withdraw any printed or digital output of anything negatively affecting you.
Confront the individual who as made the gossips about you and find out where did they achieve such slanderous data and why they are spreading them. Tell them to seize and desist or face court appearance.
The Ignore Method
This method of dealing with rumors and gossip holds true to a point. For some rumors that may be trivial or rumors that people may not believe about you, you can just simply ignore the gossiper as that person may in emotional distress and probably needs attention, don't give them any.
This method is still a watch and see method, normally if you ignore a person long enough, they will eventually not bother with you anymore, but there are the exceptional tick type that just crawls and latches on you and try to suck you for all you have and you won't be able to free your self from them until you eventually pick that tick off and you know what happens to the tick once we get it off! If the gossiper seems to be constant gossip rider, you ignoring that person may not be of any use. You should either have someone confront the person for you (preferably a pro wrestler) if you want nothing to do with that individual or confront that person yourself and put a stop to his/her blabbering mouth.
Hearing Rumors About Others
No matter where you are in this world, no matter which country you are a national of, you will hear rumors being spread. It is up to you not not indulge in the chain reaction of the spreading of these rumors and gossip. Let the rumor end at you or remove yourself from the link of gossip. You should even chastise the gossiper and and tell that individual to seize spreading gossip about the individual as it causes quite a damaging chain reaction. Rumors and gossip have ben around for many years, and as long as people live here on earth it will be around much longer. Play your part and stop gossip.
People love to talk, they will see an image and place an attribute to the image that they have seen without knowing the real story. For example, a woman takes a snapshot of a man carrying a poodle under his harm, she immediately post from her smartphone, "Dog lover helps his pet poodle to cross the road", the tweet spreads and the unknown man somehow becomes a internet sensation, he is now known as one of the best animal lovers on the planet. Little did she know that that man that had the poodle was actually bring that poor little dog to be placed as warm up dogs or practice dog in a dog fight! The poodle carrier is now on magazines and is enjoying his new fame. It is on everyone lips that Mr. unknown is the best dog lover and this rumor spreads and he befits even more. He is the sweetheart of the town!
This type of rumor is where people benefit from and will simply gloat in it. However in a different situation where false positive rumors are being circulated about you, it's best to just go out and tell the truth so the rumors can come to an end.
© 2014 Clive Williams