How to Act Right When Visiting a Public Swimming Pool
Watch and learn
It's simple. Obey the rules. Have a great time
On this piece I present ten photos. Ten truthful photos of real people experiencing the overuse of alcohol. No, this is not a temperance lecture. That would be a waste of time. What this is, if you will, is an honest expose' of how civilized people lose their sobriety and slowly sink into the "pit of public embarrassment."
These people who love to over-indulge into hard partying and drinking do it willfully and without the smallest amount of caution. I guess I should applaud such behavior and tag it to be "bravery," but the word "irresponsible" keeps popping up in my head.
Face it. There are ways on how to act and not to act when enjoying yourself at a public swimming pool say at a motel where you are vacationing or even at your home in the backyard when you invite a few hundred of your neighborhood friends for a summer pool party.
Rules are rules. I never said that I liked rules. It's just if these rules are abused, stretched or broken, someone will end up looking like a wild jackass on moonshine. Now let that image settle into your heads.
I won't list every rule. Just the most-important rules that if followed, will help you to keep your dignity intact and loved by everyone the next day.
How to Act While Relaxing at a Public Swimming Pool
- Smiling and Relaxing -- are fine, but don't overdo it. Some might think you are trying to hide something.
- Staring -- at a shapely woman in a two-piece bathing suit is fine if done in a moderate way. But let your stare turn into gazing at every move she makes might get you questioned by the police.
- Quiet Toned -- conversation is always the way to go. Bellowing, yelling like a fool are only asking for problems.
- Inviting Yourself -- to a party on the other side of the pool is simply ridiculous. No one knows you or cares to know you. Just stay in your own perimeters to avoid red-faced humiliation.
- Making Public Displays -- of your diving abilities that you think you have is not wise. You could injure yourself especially if you mix fantasy with booze.
- Making Unwanted -- passes at attractive single and married women might be fun for you. And your wife of 22 years might not care if you blow kisses at other women, but some irate, jealous husband might not appreciate your flamboyant nature and whip your behind.
- Make Sure -- that your swimming attire stays on your body after you dive into the pool and then struggle to climb out thanks to your many cold beers. No one desires to see your "privates." Be decent. Be smart.
How Not to Act While Relaxing at a Public Swimming Pool
- Daring Other People -- to foolish drinking contests such as the "Chug-a-Lug" game. Unless you are able to hold untold amounts of booze, stay away from this ignorance.
- No "Mr. Windbag" -- please. So what if the guy feeling his booze is bragging about owning three homes, four sports cars and a boat? You do not have his payments or tax bracket. Agree with him and laugh at his jokes, but do not try to out-lie him.
- Dancing While Intoxicated -- is one of the most embarrassing things a person can do when drinking heavily. Unless you are a professional dancer in show business, stay sittting down and keep your pride.
- Running -- around the pool side to show others you have some youth left is not the smartest thing you can do. And if your wife is not to not just look away from your antics, she will add to your humiliation by squealing, "You are not a teenager anymore! Stop or you might get hurt!"
- Passing Out -- at a public swimming pool is up for debate whether it is acceptable or not. I say let it slide for at least the person whose "lights have went out" will be stationary and not hurt themselves, but on the other hand, the wife and kids will have to answer questions from other partiers such as: "Does he normally pass out after three light beers?"
- Ignoring Your Wife -- is a dangerous toy to play with, "Mr. Pool Party Man." Do not guzzle or funnel your drinks. Sip. Did you read that? Sip your drinks and chat with the misses. You will thank me later.
- Feeling Your Booze -- by standing up and yelling at passersby will get you booted from the motel or public pool property. Sure you feel great, but just because you feel no pain is no guarantee than strangers will feel like you do.
. . . or just take the wife and kids to a nice dinner and by-pass the swimming pool until after the party crowd has long gone left the premises. This way, no humiliating public displays, angry encounters and the best of all, no hang-over.