How to Never be Called For Jury Duty Again
The classic jury movie: 12 Angry Men
Cast of this classic film (among others) are E.G. Marshall; Henry Fonda; Ed Begley; Jack Klugman and Henry Fonda.
There are three times a man
dreads to go to his mailbox. When he is sent a summons, when he is being sued for something he has long forgotten and the notice for him to report for jury duty.
I would be safe in saying that serving on a jury is one of the more-stressful things in life. It takes up a person's time. Depending on the jury, you are expected to make crucial decisions where some affect a human life. Even the less-dangerous juries take a chunk of time out of your busy life.
And honestly, there is no way out. Except in some jury trials, the district attorney will ask people who are being chosen for the jury if they know or are related to the defendant. Some will get out of jury duty simply because the defendant, a known felon, is their third cousin. But other than that, you are going to have to "tough it out," like the good American that you are.
What happens in the Jury Room:
- Loud talking as jurors argue about the guilt or innocence of the defendant.
- Plenty of sweating if there is no air conditioning in the jury room.
- Food has to be sent into the jury. You cannot go eat where you please.
- An armed-guard watches over the jury room. No friends or family allowed inside.
- In some cases, if the jury is sequestered, the jurors have to stay in a motel and not at their homes.
- Some juries argue for days, weeks, to arrive at a sensible verdict.
More action-packed jury scenes
But here are some ways you
CAN GET OUT OF SERVING ON A JURY:
- Drink some mixture such as hot water and salt as you head to the courtroom. This mixture induces vomiting and if you are ailing, you cannot serve on a jury.
- Be rebellious; talk loud to people in the courthouse. Ask smart alec questions to the police such as, "Got any spare doughnuts?" The defense attorney and prosecuting attorney will instantly label you as a troublemaker.
- Act clumsy. Fall on purpose in front of the judge. Naturally he will ask if you are okay. You painfully-answer no while holding your knee with a grimace on your face. No jury duty for you today. Maybe not at all.
- Flirt continuously with the pretty women who are there to serve on a jury. And if you want fast results, go too far and make improper advances to women. This will get you slapped by the offended woman and possibly arrested. You cannot serve on a jury while serving a jail sentence.
- Talk to yourself. All of the time. Take off your hat and talk to an invisible hamster who lives in your derby. The judge and attorneys will rule you stupid and having no real sense and send you home.
- When the attorneys ask you if you are related to the defendant, you say, "I cannot answer that because I need the extra bucks I get for jury duty," or this one: "Why do you need to know?" You will create so much anger you will be dismissed from the jury.
- Act like you know more than the attorneys. Tell the judge in front of everyone, "If you like, I will volunteer to help you speed--up this trial and give you the benefit of my law experience."
- Yell, "Watch this, folks," and run as hard and fast as you can and jump over the railing that separates the audience from the attorneys. Then say, "Not bad, eh?"
- To really make people angry at you, yell, "Pick me! Pick me!" Of course the judge and attorneys will wonder why you are so anxious to serve on a jury and leave you alone. They figure that no one really wants to be picked for jury duty.
- Wear shorts and a tank-top with a baseball cap to court and by doing this, you will be thought of as not too smart and not chosen for a jury.
- Act like you are forgetful when asked any question by anyone. No attorney wants a forgetful juror on the jury.
You and I both know that these "tips" to get you out of jury duty are purely of a comical nature and not to be taken seriously.
Jury Duty is a civic duty we have in this country and it is a direct-link to the Right to a Speedy Trial Guaranteed by Law under a Democratic Government.
Truthfully, no one really likes jury duty, but what would our society be without juries and a fair trial?:
And as always, I would like to say,
for taking time from your life to read this special hub that I loved writing for the entertainment of my VALUED-FOLLOWERS.
Jury in the Bruno Richard Hauptmann trial
Jury for the trial of Bruno Richard Hauptmann, who were charged with kidnapping and murdering Charles A. Lindbergh Jr., son of the famous aviator Charles Lindbergh. Jury members, at Hunterdon County Courthouse in Flemington, New Jersey, are: Left to right, front row: George Voorhees, Mrs. Ethel Stockton, Charles F. Snyder, Verna Snyder, Mrs. Rose Pill, and foreman Charles Walton, Sr. Back row: Robert Cravath, Elmer Smith, Philip Hockenbury, Mrs. Mary Brelsford, Liscom C. Case and Howard Biggs.