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I Blew £1000 in One Week On Crack Cocaine

Updated on December 9, 2019
sparkster profile image

Marc Hubs, author of "Reflections Of NPD" is a writer/researcher on the mind, science, psychology/psychiatry, metaphysics and consciousness.

Note: this article should come as a warning to all those who are already using or are thinking about using hard drugs.

Recently, I became homeless with mental health issues but thankfully instead of ending up on the streets my local authority put me into temporary accommodation.

After spending two weeks in a mental health hospital for issues with anxiety, paranoia and psychosis, my local council book a few nights in a hotel for me. They said it "wasn't the best" and said they'd move me to somewhere better as soon as a place becomes available.

As it turned out I was only in the hotel for one night and I'm glad it turned out that way because the place was dark, dingy, damp and the staff basically didn't follow the council rules and turned a blind eye to things like the curfew and even alcohol and drug use.

I was moved to a much nicer place the next day, a B&B which offered temporary accommodation to homeless people with mental health issues through the local authority. They were very strict, the curfew was 10pm, no visitors were allowed, tenants had to "keep yourself to yourself" and there was no smoking in the building.

However, they didn't cater to providing a place for tenants belongings and expected people to be able to carry around whatever belongings they had. During my stay, they actually kicked several people out for breaking the rules and they were pretty low tolerance. These people were told to grab their stuff and leave immediately without any notice. They were expected to take all of their stuff with them.

I was there for just over two months and due to their strict rules I actually felt safe there. During my stay, however, I did rather foolishly start taking the odd bit of cocaine here and there, a very expensive drug and although it didn't quite bleed me dry, I started using more and more regularly and the amount I was spending was going up and up. Boredom had a lot to do with it.

I couldn't take my guitars or computer there and had difficult keeping my mind occupied so I ended up using drugs more and more. It got to the point where I would end up with a blocked or runny nose and at times, after heavy use, there would be a small amount of blood on the tissue.

Whilst staying at this B&B my cocaine dealer, who I had become friends with, actually died although I don't know what from. He was a cocaine user and he had already told me that he had a hole in the roof of his mouth from snorting cocaine. The word on the street was that he was a diabetic and wasn't taking his insulin and that's was caused his death but I remain skeptical.

I had seen him about a week before his death and he was ill, weak with no energy and he told me he just didn't know what was wrong with him. However, I saw him again a few days later and he seemed fine. A week after the last time I saw him I heard that his brother had gone back to their flat and found him there dead.

Two months after moving into the B&B, who had become fond of me as a tenant, I had a knock on my bedroom door and was told that I'd been booked into a homeless hostel not far from the B&B. However, they told me to grab my stuff and go straight to the hostel there and then - no notice, no warning, nothing.

I had to make a few trips because I had so much stuff and had to keep going back and fore between the B&B and the hostel to move my belongings.

I was in the hostel for a few weeks in a flat with three bedrooms and shared kitchen and bathroom. I only encountered the other tenants a few times and started to get to know them. I picked up pretty quickly that one of them was a crack addict, it had started to become obvious.

The one day he saw me smoking a cigarette and asked me what else I smoked. I told him I used to smoke weed but that I don't touch it any more and he asked "what about white?" I said I'd done it a few times and have the occasional pipe. He said he'd get some a few days later which he did, it was only enough for two pipes each so I joined him, although I had been trying to keep him at arms length.

The first time I had smoked crack cocaine was about twenty years earlier with my brother-in-law. It was one of the scariest experiences of my life and yet one of the most pleasurable at the same time. He told me that the first time I try it, it might make me get hot and start sweating and it could possibly make me vomit depending on how I reacted to it and that made me scared and put me off a bit.

However, he and his friend reassured me that it would only last a minute or two and then I'll be okay and I'll start to feel good. I ended up going ahead. I didn't know at the time what amount of crack is considered a lot to smoke in one pipe but I do now know that they gave me a huge hit considering it was my first time.

They egged me on to keep inhaling as long as I could and then kept telling me to hold it in my lungs as long as possible until I couldn't hold it any longer which I did. When I breathed out the smoke the taste was inexplicable and I actually started to crave the taste immediately.

Then it happened - I started getting hot and burning up and started sweating profusely. It became really intense and began to scare me. I thought they'd given me too much and that I was having an overdose. They told me I'd be okay and to drink a cup of water so I did and immediately afterwards I was sick in the sink though this was short-lived but it wasn't very nice at all and I've read that this can be dangerous.

Then the pleasurable effects of the crack started to hit me and I started to feel good but it was also intense. However, right after the hit I was intensely craving more crack.

Anyway, when the other tenant in the hostel and I got some crack and smoked it that was it - we had a pipe and the crack was nice. I wasn't able to get any myself and I told him I might ask him to get me some. A few days later I ended up getting the money and asking him to get a large enough lump for me to give him a bit and have enough for myself. I didn't want him to latch on to me like a leech (which he has) so I refrained from smoking it with him and took it back to my room.

For anyone who doesn't know, crack cocaine is morish. Once you've had a pipe you want another one... and another. It certainly wasn't the best crack I've smoked but I enjoyed it... a little too much.

Once it had gone I tried to keep myself occupied, I read a book, listened to music and played some games on my phone. I was fine for a while but soon enough I found that doing so just wasn't entertaining me enough and I found myself craving another pipe.

I gave in to temptation and knocked his door and asked him to get some more. I had actually recently borrowed money which I planned to spend on Christmas but this money soon started dwindling away. Before I knew it I found myself going back and forth to the cashpoint all sorts of times of night, drawing out more money for more crack.

I kept telling myself this will be the last one, or that I'd keep some crack for tomorrow but it never worked out that way. The temptation was too powerful. It didn't matter how big a lump of crack I bought, I would end up staying up all night smoking it all... just one more pipe won't hurt... and maybe another one.. and another. Knowing it was there was making it irresistible and every time I ran out I would think "just one more time" and go to get more.

Of course, the guy who was getting for me wanted me to give him some each time "on tick" until he got paid a few days later so I ended up feeding his habit too. I would end up drawing out several hundred pounds each day. I kept telling myself it's okay, he's going to pay me back, I can afford it... just about.

Before I knew it I was spending way above the limit that I'd set for myself before going on the crack binge and had gone several hundred pound over and my bank balance was getting low. One night I smoked so much crack that I couldn't sleep and kept having visions of cocaine then when I did eventually managed to get to sleep I ended up dreaming about crack... the next day I wanted more - I couldn't help it. It had sucked me in, despite having a sore throat and developing a cough.

I would ended up having pipe after pipe after pipe. I started to think to myself that this had got out of hand and that I needed to sort it out fast before it was too late.

About a week after starting this binge, I went to check my bank balance to see how much I had left. I hadn't spent it all and still had enough to last me until I got paid next but I was shocked when I worked it out and realized that I had spent well over £1000 on crack... within a week!

I thought to myself it's lucky I didn't overdose and then depression set in realising that I'd blown all the money I'd borrowed for Christmas and that left me feeling ashamed of myself because I now couldn't give my family the Christmas I was planning to.

Appr

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    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      8 days ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      About my last comment.........You must wonder....what the HELL is this old lady talking about?! OK.....be kind. I read 2 or 3 articles this evening and confused my fellow writers with one another. Mea Culpa. I'll bet even YOU didn't know you had emigrated from Romania.

      Obviously...my bedtime is over due. Good Night, Marc. Do what you will with my blithering mistake! I deserve to be laughed at! I even made myself laugh!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      8 days ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Wow, Marc......I guess I completely forgot that I had commented on this hub. You know, it's probably fairly common, for women especially, but I tend to block out things I've read that really upset me or shake me up. I think you know that your article is the kind of story that can really affect someone.

      Just a few minutes ago I commented on another of your articles....thinking it had been a really long time (years) since we last communicated. Marc.....honestly, I didn't know about you're being a refugee from Romania until reading the article I read today!

      I feel as though we must be "friends" at this point, Marc, because I think I know more about you now than I do some of the people I grew up with!.......TTYL. Cheers, Paula

    • sparkster profile imageAUTHOR

      Marc Hubs 

      3 weeks ago from United Kingdom

      Thank you Paula,

      This admission will probably come as a surprise to most of my fans, followers and readers after the image I've built up online.

      I've always kept it private and have always maintained a respectable reputation both in real life and online but I'm also a very open and honest person.

      I do have quite a history of substance misuse starting when I was in my late teens and I feel it's time to reveal some of this.

      A lot of my drug life will be documented in my future book, The Strangest Life I've Ever Known, along with the beautiful ups and horrendous downs that lifestyle caused.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      4 weeks ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      I commend you for your honesty and the bravery it required to expose this period in your life of such destructive activity & behavior. I admit it has shocked me that you involved yourself in these pathetic addictions. Frankly, I'd have believed you to be so much smarter & self-protective.

      I sincerely hope you have taken the steps to rid yourself of these demons and arrived at a sensible, healthy & respectable place in life. Please understand that you are better than this, Marc and deserve a happy, healthy life, free from toxins and shackles that cause all that is negative, ugly and lethal.

      People love you. Love yourself. Peace, Paula

    • hard sun profile image

      Don Shepard 

      4 weeks ago

      Thanks for the honest story. It's good that there was some sort of temporary accommodation for you.

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