ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

"I use to be an enabler, are you enabling someone in your life today."

Updated on September 14, 2009

" I use to be an enabler, are you enabling someone in your life today."

Are you enabling someone in your life today, by giving them access to things they don't need?
Are you enabling someone in your life today, by giving them access to things they don't need?

" I use to be an enabler, are you enabling someone in your life today"

Definition of enabler: Is someone that allows things to happen, without preventing it. When I married my ex-husband he had quite a few addictions, some I knew of and some that I didn't. I tried to help him buy talking to him about getting help. I think people with addictions , want help, but the addictions have to much control over them, that thye doesn't have the strenght or the will to fight it off.

My ex finally decided to get help, and I supported him every step of the way, but I didn't know that by me being there ; that I would be the bullseye that everyone threw darts at. What I meant by that statement was , I sit in the center of the addicts and they took turns asking me questions like: why are you still with this person. They told me I wasn't helping him by staying with him. I never been involved with anything like this before, so it was very intimidating for me; to endure all of the criticism being thown my way.

The criticism made me think about my position in this marriage, and how unequally yoked I was to this man that I married. Being an enabler you're just there, but if you're buying cigarretes, or drugs or alcohol for the person; you're contributing to the problem. My advice to you is that you think about your options, before you put yourself in an enabling situation; that you will definitely regret later on down the road.

Benny Faye douglasĀ 


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • NGRIA Bassett profile image

      NGRIA Bassett 

      8 years ago from Bermuda

      Good for you Creativeone59. To learn and gain strength from this most difficult situation that could destroy you inside out. Sometimes it takes the challenge of having others confront us, inorder that we consider a different perspective.Look at you now! Wow! You are an overcomer.

    • creativeone59 profile imageAUTHOR

      benny Faye Douglass 

      9 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      No gader than myself, thnaks for the vote of confidence.


    • Veronica Allen profile image

      Veronica Allen 

      9 years ago from Georgia

      When you're so close to a person, it can be extremely hard to detach love from enabling. I'm glad you were able to work through this.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)