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"I use to be an enabler, are you enabling someone in your life today."

Updated on September 14, 2009

" I use to be an enabler, are you enabling someone in your life today."

Are you enabling someone in your life today, by giving them access to things they don't need?
Are you enabling someone in your life today, by giving them access to things they don't need?

" I use to be an enabler, are you enabling someone in your life today"

Definition of enabler: Is someone that allows things to happen, without preventing it. When I married my ex-husband he had quite a few addictions, some I knew of and some that I didn't. I tried to help him buy talking to him about getting help. I think people with addictions , want help, but the addictions have to much control over them, that thye doesn't have the strenght or the will to fight it off.

My ex finally decided to get help, and I supported him every step of the way, but I didn't know that by me being there ; that I would be the bullseye that everyone threw darts at. What I meant by that statement was , I sit in the center of the addicts and they took turns asking me questions like: why are you still with this person. They told me I wasn't helping him by staying with him. I never been involved with anything like this before, so it was very intimidating for me; to endure all of the criticism being thown my way.

The criticism made me think about my position in this marriage, and how unequally yoked I was to this man that I married. Being an enabler you're just there, but if you're buying cigarretes, or drugs or alcohol for the person; you're contributing to the problem. My advice to you is that you think about your options, before you put yourself in an enabling situation; that you will definitely regret later on down the road.

Benny Faye douglasĀ 

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    • NGRIA Bassett profile image

      NGRIA Bassett 

      8 years ago from Bermuda

      Good for you Creativeone59. To learn and gain strength from this most difficult situation that could destroy you inside out. Sometimes it takes the challenge of having others confront us, inorder that we consider a different perspective.Look at you now! Wow! You are an overcomer.

    • creativeone59 profile imageAUTHOR

      benny Faye Douglass 

      9 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      No gader than myself, thnaks for the vote of confidence.

      creativeone59

    • Veronica Allen profile image

      Veronica Allen 

      9 years ago from Georgia

      When you're so close to a person, it can be extremely hard to detach love from enabling. I'm glad you were able to work through this.

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