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Tactical Toothbrush in Defense of Liberty?

Updated on May 7, 2013

Tactical toothbrushes


The Second Amendment

"A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."


Ever since 911, the USA has been drifting--some would say galloping--toward Totalitarianism. Under George W Bush, Fascist Totalitarianism was the model. Under Obama, it's Marxist Totalitarianism. Although there are some rhetorical differences, these two White House occupants were cut from the same cloth. In past Totalitarian regimes--both Communist and Fascist--gun bans, masquerading as 'common sense' gun control, played an essential role in consolidating political power. And firearms 'registration' was a prelude to actual confiscation on the part of the jack-booted security forces.

Despite Bush's former membership in the National Rifle Association, he was no friend of the Second Amendment. (See sidebar.) His handling of the humanitarian crisis in New Orleans immediately following Hurricane Katrina is a case in point.

A 2009 article in Mother Jones exposed the incompetence and callousness of government officials at all levels.

City, county, state and federal governments were all very keen on trashing the Bill of Rights in New Orleans. The local police decided to confiscate most registered guns held by civilians, at a time when their law-abiding owners really needed the means to protect their families from violent criminals. The big exception: heavily armed rent-a-cops hired to protect property belonging to businesses, and to rich people.

Our very Republican White House occupant, George W Bush, did not have a problem with this selective violation of the Second Amendment. In fact, his trigger-happy Blackwater mercenaries actively participated in that process.

On the other hand, Obama has a different style. He changes his core political positions as casually as you or I change our clothes. Back in the 1990s, Barry stated,

I don’t believe that people should be able to own guns.


When Barry first ran for president, he was singing a different tune. His Dr Jekyll persona came to the fore.

I believe in the Second Amendment. I will not take your shotgun away. I will not take your rifle away. I won’t take your handgun away… But I am not going to take your guns away. So if you want to find an excuse not to vote for me, don’t use that one because it just ain’t true. It ain’t true.


But in the wake of the Sandy Hook tragedy, Mr Hyde has been in the driver's seat. Barry has done everything in his power to make life miserable for law-abiding owners of firearms, and for other law-abiding citizens who want to acquire firearms and ammunition. As of April 2013, his gun control agenda has stalled in Congress. But that hasn't stopped our Marxist Messiah.

The Department of Homeland Security (not the military) has more than 200 million rounds of ammunition. And they'd like to purchase 1.3 billion more rounds if they can get away with it. The grand total would be enough to shoot every man, woman, and child in the USA more than four times.

Meanwhile, gun shops and sporting goods stores are finding it extremely difficult to keep their shelves stocked with certain calibers of ammunition. Even the Border Patrol, which is supposed to be under the umbrella of the DHS, is experiencing an ammo shortage. What gives?

There are two rationales for the Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. Both involve the fundamental human right of self-defense. Back in the day, A2 was an insurance policy against armed invaders.

More to the point, A2 is a Constitutional countermeasure against the high probability that the forces of tyranny would hijack our federal government at some future time. Armed law-abiding citizens can have a sobering effect on rascals in public office.

Larry's Aphorism about the political process:

The First Law of Politics is the exact opposite of the First Law of Plumbing. That which flows downhill in plumbing, floats uphill in politics.

Note: Although our Founding Fathers were very understanding about the need for meat hunting, A2 had absolutely nothing to do with this particular pastime.

We Americans are living in a lite beer version of martial law. The brief and costly shutdown of Boston in April 2013, in which the psycho militarized cops systematically violated the constitutional rights of many innocent citizens in their search for the stupid psycho bombers, illustrates the extent to which the rule of law has been salami-sliced beyond all recognition since 911.

What are we going to do about it?

Flap holster
Flap holster | Source

Terry Stop

The U.S. Supreme Court's ruling in Terry v. Ohio (1968) is a landmark decision in the law of police procedures. The current interpretation is that the police can stop you, and do a "Terry search" for weapons whenever they want to, under the flimsiest of pretexts. The buzzphrase in Terry is "reasonable suspicion." That's a smaller hurdle than "probable cause," which is the criterion for an actual arrest. Sometimes, these searches are more about harassment than they are about public safety.

Hat-tip to Deborah.

Source: wikipedia

Political theater

A good place to begin in our effort to halt the march toward banana republic status is to reclaim our Second Amendment rights, and to put an end to the Security Theater of strict gun control. I say: Let's be in-your-face about it, and at the same time, let's obey the law. How?

First organize three-person teams. Each team will do the 21st Century equivalent of a civil rights march in their area, in order to draw attention to the issue. But in contrast with the civil rights marches of the 1960s, they will not need a parade permit for just three people. They will not be disrupting the flow of traffic, because they'll be on the sidewalk the entire time. And there are no pesky political banners or signs to carry.

In each team, Person A will carry a Tactical Toothbrush. What's that?

A TT is an ordinary toothbrush, with splayed bristles, which is nearly worn out.

It's carried in either a handgun holster, or in a knife sheath (which is cheaper), attached to one's belt. Person A wears a Hawaiian shirt, which covers the upper third of the holster (or sheath), but not the lower 2/3. (In cold weather, substitute a jacket for the Hawaiian shirt.) The main idea is that other people--including cops--cannot see that there's no armament of any kind in the holster or sheath. Just a ratty old toothbrush.

Person B will carry a folded newspaper. He has two jobs: to be a 'straight man' for Person A, and to be a witness. The job of Person C is to act as a witness. Person C will carry a spy pen. (See the ebay capsule.)

Here's how a typical scenario should play out. The team members choose a moderately long walking route through a business district in a nice part of town. One member parks his car at the end of the walking route, and jumps into the car carrying his teammates, who drive to the beginning of the walking route, and then park.

During the walk, all three participants will always be 100% polite to everyone that they meet--especially The Fuzz. Old saying:

An armed society is a polite society.

That's how people in Second Amendment-friendly New Hampshire behave. By the way, New Hampshire has the lowest violent crime rate of any state in the union.

I cannot overstate the importance of being polite on these walks. Other pedestrians will see the holster or sheath, and will jump to the conclusion that you are armed. We absolutely do not want to make other civilians feel uncomfortable.

If the walk is sufficiently long, your partly-visible holster or sheath will also attract the attention of the police. In most jurisdictions, which are at least somewhat hostile toward the Second Amendment, the cops will search you. And no, they don't need a search warrant for a Terry Stop. (See sidebar.) Anyway, that's part of the plan.

If the cops ask about the toothbrush in the holster, Person A can explain to the officer that it's a tactical toothbrush. Please allow me to demonstrate how it works. Then he could pull the toothbrush from the holster (or sheath), and vigorously brush the outer part of Person B's ear.

The discomfort will cause Person B to drop the folded newspaper that he was carrying. Then B could say:

Ow, that smarts! If I were a bad guy brandishing a handgun, I would have dropped it just as readily as I dropped this newspaper.

The toothbrush defense is no dumber than the ballpoint pen defense advocated by some Democrats. (Believe it or not, Smith & Wesson actually makes a tactical pen.) The cop will know that he's been had. And if he follows the law, there's nothing that he can do about the political theater. Sarcasm is still legal.

If political theater teams sprout up everywhere, they will drain resources from police departments. This will have one or more possible short-term results, all of which will eventually involve the media.

The general public will become more aware of the excessively high cost of strict gun control, in the face of principled opposition.

Second, various jurisdictions could outlaw handgun and knife paraphernalia, just as they outlaw certain types of drug paraphernalia. When the press catches wind of these stories, the city councils, county boards of supervisors, and state legislatures will all become laughingstocks.

Third, psycho cops will beat the bejesus out of political theater teams. This will result in well-publicized, million-dollar lawsuits. Again, the forces of freedom will carry the day. Be emotionally prepared for the fact that political theater is not without risk.

In the longer term, Second Amendment rights activists will be accurately viewed as courteous, tolerant, informed folks, who stand up for what they believe in, and who have a sense of humor.

Speaking of humor ... If you enjoy unintentional humor, read about the advise given by VP Joe Biden on the subject of home defense.

Ballpoint pen defense?

Do you feel that the USA is in danger of becoming a police state, like China?

See results

A few more details

There are far too many 'bad apples' in our police forces. When psycho cops think that they can get away with it, they get their jollies by beating up helpless civilians.

Tasing is even more insidious, because it does not leave any tell-tale broken bones. The threshold for taser abuse--a Politically Correct form of torture--is considerably less than for beatings. However it does kill people occasionally. As Maxwell Smart would say: Sorry about that.

There's also the 'Code of Silence'. Most rank-and-file cops are afraid to rat out their fellow officers--even the psychos. Precious little has changed since the Rodney King beating.

The spy pen (see ebay capsule) and the witnesses are needed to document gross encounters with the boys in blue. However most interactions between freedom walkers and police will be peaceful if the activists are polite at all times.

Toothbrush activists in each county will need legal advice--in advance--from an attorney. I am not a lawyer.

Here's an example of a legal issue that could come up. Some cities and counties may already outlaw knife paraphernalia and handgun paraphernalia on public streets. Toothbrush activists should avoid these jurisdictions completely.

The red-and-blue map below shows the counties whose residents tend to vote for the Republican in presidential elections (red), as well as the counties where people tend to vote for the Democrat (blue). The urban dwellers in the blue counties really need to become educated about the realities of firearms in the hands of law-abiding civilians.

Copyright 2013 by Larry Fields

The red counties voted for the Republican presidential candidate, and the blue counties voted for the Democrat.
The red counties voted for the Republican presidential candidate, and the blue counties voted for the Democrat.


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    • Larry Fields profile image

      Larry Fields 4 years ago from Northern California

      Hi Nell,

      Thanks for stopping by. It's always nice to hear from you. And have a great weekend yourself.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Hi Larry, coming from lil' old England I have no idea of the politics across the pond, but interesting stuff! have a great weekend, nell

    • Larry Fields profile image

      Larry Fields 4 years ago from Northern California


      Being a lazy kind of activist, I get most of my pictures from Wikipedia. And the selection there is limited.

      Thanks for volunteering to find a photo of a true assault toothbrush. And a built in, high capacity, semi-auto toothpaste dispenser would be a nice touch.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      One question, Larry:

      Shouldn't your tactical toothbrush have a pistol grip and a bayonet lug? Otherwise, I'm not sure it would qualify as a true assault toothbrush.

    • Larry Fields profile image

      Larry Fields 4 years ago from Northern California

      Hi James. Thanks for stopping by.

    • Larry Fields profile image

      Larry Fields 4 years ago from Northern California

      Hi Will,

      I was concerned that people would be turned off by my odd sense of humor. Thanks for the vote up and for the share.

    • SubRon7 profile image

      James W. Nelson 4 years ago from eastern North Dakota

      Thanks for putting this on Facebook, Will, or I wouldn't have seen it, and thank you, Larry Fields, for writing it.

      Our president--and his "followers"--wants his way right now. I hope the Republicans and Libertarians remain strong enough to stop him, but if the liberals stay in power in 2016, thanks to way too many people voting name recognition only...well, I will think about maybe just going to sea again....

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Funny but very serious at the same time.

      I watched the brutality of law enforcement during the search for the Boston Bomber, and I was appalled at the way they treated ordinary citizens in their own homes. They knew who they were looking for, and a white haired old granny was not a suspect!

      Voted up and shared!