Interview With a Revolutionary War Soldier on the 4th of July

He just appeared there on the street corner. He looked pretty lost so I decided to help him out. I introduced myself and he told me his name, Paul. We started a strange and enlightening conversation. He asked me if I had any tobacco and I handed him a cigarette.

He was really impressed with how it was shaped so perfectly. I asked, "How about some lunch...I'll pay?" He nodded and we walked across the street to Smiley's Pub. Before we stepped in the door I told him, "Uh...you have to put out the smoke and you can't carry that rifle in here."

He leaned his rifle to the side of the door and broke the cigarette off at the ember to save for later. We went in, sat at the bar and I ordered two drafts and a couple of hamburgers. He looked over at two beautiful women standing by the jukebox and yelled at them "Wenches, bring your bums here and give me some kisses!" I nudged him as the women snarled and turned away. I whispered, "You can't talk to women like that!"

He grinned and said, "How would a man talk to a woman of this day then?" I said "You must be polite, women demand and deserve respect. They don't like being called wenches. Women are equal to men in today's world." He laughed and said, "As they were in my time...one on me lap and one in each arm was a pretty good balance, my friend."

As we ate our lunch, we got on the subject of politics. I gave him a basic outline of politics and social issues. I explained the duties of Congress and the executive branch of government and how they are elected. He grinned and said, "Sounds like ya have too many heads and not enough hands. I'd say the vote counters are the Kings."

He began to get really aggravated that he had to leave his rifle outside. I told him about gun laws, search and seizure methods, along with other eroding rights. I told him how the banks control all of the money and the politicians were just worms in the fat apples of the peoples' tree.

He listened intensely as I ranted about how things were in such a mess. I began slamming my fist on the bar and I shouted "This is the fourth of July and I for one am sick and tired of taxation without intelligent and accountable representation! I am sick of totally incompetent legislatures! From the local pathetic politicians to the leader of the country, we have an unbroken line of idiots!"

The old soldier just patted me on the back, with a big grin, he laughed and said "Bloody hell mate, we must have won the dammed war. This country is as much of a shit hole as England! Ha...ha ...ha! We actually won the bloody war!"

I immediately corrected him and told him that actually, the Americans had won the war. It took some in-depth explaining and he finally understood. He took a long sip of his beer and said, "Sounds to me like they had a great governing system going and screwed it up. You've done nothing but trade one tyrannical King for thousands of useless little blood-sucking tyrants."

He laughed loud and grumbled, "I lost good men in many battles. It sounds as if the colonial rebel's latter offspring have disgustingly rotted the victory and made lame their freedom. It is just as we were told as we embarked on the ships. They scream for liberty and still lust for a King's lap."

I gave him a confused look and he said, "They wish to be approved and led through life by the leash of authority. The only true liberty mankind has is in the wilderness where no one can find him. He gave me a wink and said, "Had General Cornwallis had more support from Loyalists in the South back in 1779, we might be drinking and raising our glasses to the King of England."

I told him about Queen Elizabeth. We finished our lunch and drinks, went outside and he picked up his rifle. He brushed the dust from his red coat and shouted "Long live the Queen!" The old British soldier disappeared into thin air.