ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Israel vs. Iran

Updated on March 18, 2013
fight!
fight! | Source

Hey, dude: where's the war?

Television viewers are impatient. They can hardly be blamed. They have been all but promised a saturated bombing of Iran for over ten years now. Thus far nothing has happened. They have witnessed a devastating Tsunami, seen the lash of Hurricane Katrina, an urban earthquake, ugly clips from the Iraqi and Afghanistan wars, and the riots in California. But when is Tehran going to be bombed? Netanyahu has been talking around this topic since forever. He waited patiently for the presidential election to finish and our daily bickering to die down and now what? Nothing. The Iranians are busily at work on nuclear technology and, at the same time, threaten Israel. Is the writing on the wall or what? Well, it's complicated. But so many of us have flatscreens. Let's get it on.

God-fearing people, like the Simpsons, whom we secretly admire and emulate, are right where they need to be, on the couch in front of the set. Television anchors have mastered journalistic skills. They will perform with superb theatricality: "Sad news today for Cincinnati. Or maybe Louisville." The point being that if Jihadists poison the water, or whatever, then we'll do something to them. That's how it works. Constant flows of righteous retaliatory measures.

And imagine the carnage! Certainly, television fans will salivate over graphic close-ups of Iranians burning to death, going blind, losing their minds, and parts of their anatomy. They are apt to cry, yell, and paralyzed by grief, collapse. Similar simulated box-office emoting has whetted television appetites for some time now. How about turning the television screen into a bloodletting canvas that never sleeps? Sound good? One can say, television is violent, people watch television, therefore people are violent, too. But this syllogism won't catch fire. The religious will hit pay dirt, however. Won't they? See how terrible is the wrath of God! If there are any stragglers now, think of the massive conversions after Armageddon gets going. Come on down! The New Testament versus the Koran. A resurgence in Old Testament bloodlust! No more crises in religion if militants, terrorists, or let's be honest, everybody over there, burn to a crisp. Bibles'll fly off the shelves.

The only drawback, as I see it, is what to munch on while our homes turn into Coliseums. My feeling is that the potato chip cannot be beat. It has certainly taken a drubbing these last few decades. But it has come through as salty and fatty as ever. For soda pop, I prefer coca cola. It has sugar and caffeine. But we shall see only when the fireworks begin. Lots of laughs, I know. If the Middle East escalates in terms of warfare, what will actually happen? It is not going to be anything like the above scenario, that's for sure.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Rchrdsnc profile imageAUTHOR

      Carl Richardson 

      5 years ago from Midwest USA

      Probably right.

    • Marquis profile image

      Marquis 

      5 years ago from Ann Arbor, MI

      Israel would win. Iran is backwards.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)