Joe the Plumber for President
We All Care About Joe
Joe the Plumber doesn't want to pay more taxes, and he doesn't want you to pay more taxes, either! In fact, he doesn't want ANYBODY to pay more taxes. In fact, he is going to give you money. How could you even think of voting for those other two? Are you nuts?
Who better than a plumber to unclog a stopped up economy? Who better than a plumber to get the cash flow flowing again? Who better than a plumber to relieve the pressure our health care system is putting on our society? Who better to solder together the widening divisions we see in our society?
Yes, friends, Joe represents the common people. What does he know? He knows what I know! Not much! Just like you and me! So when we elect Joe to be the next President of the United States, it will be just like we elected ourselves. And who better to represent our interests then us?
And Joe's not stupid, either. He knows that in order to make it in this country you can't just be a plumber. You've got to go into business before you start to make any money. And that is what America is all about, too. Pushing the the envelope until you push your way right the heck out of there.
Of course, when Joe starts his business, he won't exactly be the same guy. He'll still be Joe the Plumber all right, but he won't be Joe the Plumber working for the Acme Plumbing Company anymore. Nope, he'll have to quit that job because he won't be able to make any real money until he's his own boss. Why not? you might very well ask if I poke you hard enough. Well, I'll tell you. Because his boss takes a little bit of money that could go into employee pay and benefits and instead invests it back into the company or takes it for himself, because he's the boss, the greedy so-and-so! So what will Joe do when he's the boss? Why, he'll do the same thing, of course! So in effect, Joe will BECOME his boss. And just in time for Hallowe'en, too.
Vote for Joe!
So remember, a vote for Joe is a vote for you! This is a great thing! Here you've been grumbling all these years about what you would do if you were president and now - shazam! Here's your chance! Joe already represents us in the media and in the minds of both major presidential candidates. He may as well represent us as President of the United States. So, come election day, remember to write in Joe the Plumber for President.
While you're at it, write in John McCain for Vice President. I've got a feeling Joe will be glad to have someone with lots and lots and lots of experience around to help him out.
I guess that would make John McCain a plumber's helper, wouldn't it?